Find Your Love
by chancewriter
Summary: Matsumoto took a chance with Gin and was left heartbroken and in exile from Soul Society. When Hitsugaya goes to save her he's doing it from a sense of duty. It's not like he has feelings for her or anything, right?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **__Hello everyone! This is my first HitsuMatsu fic, so go easy on me._

_**Pairings: **__Hitsugaya/Matsumoto/Gin_

_**Narrative: **__First __person alternating between Matsumoto and Hitsugaya

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**Chapter One**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

When the Hell butterfly brings the message I couldn't pretend that I wasn't expecting the summons. Every seated officer is being summoned and after the incident where Hanatarou Yamada was taken as a hostage when Ichigo and the others first came to Soul Society, every precaution was being taken. Even my captain was being questioned and everyone knows what a goody two shoes Captain Hitsugaya is!

"When is the date of your summons, Matsumoto?" Captain Hitsugaya calmly asks me. I am sitting on the sofa in his office watching him complete his paperwork. He does not look up from the infinite amount of paperwork that he is doing when he asks the question. I'm beginning to think that either the paper multiplies by touch or that he is willingly requesting paperwork from other divisions. It is not possible to have all that paperwork. I don't even think that Soul Society has enough trees to generate that!

"This afternoon, Captain." I answer. He looks up from the stack of paperwork (it's so high that I can only see the top of his white hair and his turquoise eyes.)

"So soon? I wonder why they have summoned you so soon?"

I can see the cogs in his brain working. Say what you want, but I know that he loves mysteries and figuring things out. Despite the chaos that developed with the Aizen situation, I know that my captain loved every moment of figuring out the mystery behind Aizen. Okay, maybe not love, but I know that he was quite pleased to figure out Aizen's motives. He's like the Ms. Marple of Soul Society. Hee. Alright, he'd kill me if he knew I compared him to an old British widow. Alright, so he's more like Poirot or even more likely, one of the Hardy Boys. Wow. I spent way too much time in the Living World with Orihime.

"Hmm." He continues after he realizes that I'm not interested in his suppositions on the conspiracy theory that is Central 46. Ever since the Aizen incident he has never trusted Central 46's decisions. "Well, I suppose that you should stay calm. You have nothing to be worried about."

He goes back to writing, but I can tell that he's patiently waiting for a reply after he posed his carefully crafted question that was hidden in his words – have I had any contact with Gin Ichimaru?

"No." I answer coolly. "I have nothing to worry about, Captain." I add with a little more cheer to my voice.

He looks up at me to gauge my response and I flash a brilliant smile at him. We hold each other's stares for a moment, but he breaks first and lowers his eyes onto his paperwork.

"Well you better get a move on. You wouldn't want to anger those that head the inquisition."

"No problem. I can't wait to go because it sure beats sitting here and filing paper!" I shout back to him as I leave his office.

"You weren't doing any paperwork in the first place!" He screams at me and I know that it must irritate him to no end to hear my laughter cackling down the hall.

I enter into the chambers of the new Central 46 and a heavy feeling descends on me. I smooth the non-existent wrinkles on my Shihakusho, plaster a smile onto my face and walk in with my head held high.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku of the Tenth Division. Is that your name?" A disembodied voice calls out to me, harsh and unwelcoming. I hate that about Central 46. Forty-six people staring down at you from a raised platform with their faces blocked by veils. The room is dark and drafty with echoes that bounce off the walls that I suppose serves to heighten your sense of isolation and resignation.

"Yes, that is my name."

The questions are easy enough at first. What are the duties that you most frequently carry out as Lieutenant of the Tenth Division? What role did you play in the Winter War three months ago? When was the last time that you spoke to or saw the previous incumbent of the Third Division, Captain Gin Ichimaru? But then…

"How do you explain the traces of Captain Ichimaru's reiatsu in your room?"

These people have been in my room? When I don't answer immediately I can feel their triumphant stares boring into me, though I cannot see their faces.

"Captain Ichimaru has been spotted in various places by various people in the Seretei over the last two months. I suppose that my room is just another one of the sightings."

Nothing. No response from them and the heaviness that I was feeling in my stomach is slowly rising to my chest.

"And how do you explain the eyewitness reports that Captain Ichimaru has been seen in your company?"

"Well that could have been at any time. I've known Captain Ichimaru for years. I'm sure that someone must have seen me drop off a document for him to sign at some point in time that he was a Captain." I smile at them, though mentally I am throwing up in their faces.

"Where were you on the night of Thursday last between the hours of nine and midnight?"

"I was on duty and spent the night at the Tenth Division barracks."

"Then how come Captain Hitsugaya reported that you never showed up for duty?"

Damn it! I never did ask Captain how his interrogation went.

"He must have forgotten to write down the time that I signed in." By this time the mental image of me throwing up on their faces is threatening to become a reality.

"What is the colour of Captain Hitsugaya's eyes?"

"Turquoise." I answer immediately and wonder where exactly are they heading with this question.

"How long have you known Captain Hitsugaya?"

I pause. Should I count the first time that I met him in the Rukongai or should I count from the first time that I joined his squad?

"Almost a centu–"

"What is the name of his shikai?"

"Hyorinmaru."

"What is the shikai release command for your zanpakuto?"

"Growl."

"What is the name of your zanpakuto?"

"Haineko."

"What is the colour of Captain Ichimaru's eyes?"

"Blue."

Silence.

Shit.

I cannot believe that I allowed myself to be trapped so easily. No one is supposed to know the colour of Gin's eyes except Gin. Yet, I just rattled off the answer off of my tongue as if it is some everyday known fact like the name of my zanpakuto or the colour of Captain Hitsugaya's eyes. Crap. Gin and I had maintained a carefully and skilfully clandestine affair for years and with one slip of the tongue I have suggested that I may know him as more than just Captain Ichimaru of the Third Division.

"Let's go back to the night that you were allegedly on duty."

"It's not alleged –"

And on and on it went. Where were you? Who saw you? What did you do? On the alleged…that's the way they started and ended their sentences. I was feeling furious! I was furious with myself for letting that little bit about Gin slip. They didn't mention anything about Gin again, but I was on my guard. The stress of waiting for them to spring a question about Gin and trying to think up answers to explain the inconsistencies in my replies were giving me a migraine. For six hours straight it went on like that. And pretty soon mentally throwing up turned into actually throwing up. I feel dizzy, not better to have the heavy feeling pouring out of me. When I am finished, vomit lying at my sore feet that I've been standing on for the last six hours; it is then that they strike.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto, your medical reports say that you are in prime physical condition, but your service will soon be halted because of your pregnancy. Who is the father?"

There it was. I wasn't expecting that. They reviewed my medical reports? Aren't those things private? Didn't the Healers in the Fourth have to take some oath of confidence or something?

"Since the start of the sightings, reports have shown that Captain Ichimaru's reiatsu has been lingering in your room. His fingerprints have been found all over your room. Explain yourself!"

The voices ring out harsh and reverberate in my brain. My ears are ringing and soon the images of the white veils obscuring their faces blur into rings of white. I can feel myself falling, but all I can think is that I hope that I don't fall head first into the vomit.

I awake some time later. I have no idea of the time. All I do know is that I am lying on my side and that I am back in the Tenth Division. Though I cannot sense his reiatsu I can tell by the familiar scent that I am in Captain Hitsugaya's room, lying on his bed. Wow. His room is so much bigger than mine. But I really shouldn't be surprised about that. I have known for some time now that Captains have everything bigger and better. The bed is soft and the sheets and pillows envelop me. I do not want to get up. I want to continue lying here in my oblivious white sheet heaven.

"Get up."

"Oh Goodness!" I exclaim as I turn and bolt upright knocking Captain Hitsugaya in his forehead.

"Matsumoto!" He growls at me while rubbing his forehead.

"Captain! You mustn't scare me like that. It's your fault you know. You really shouldn't be hovering over me like that."

"I wasn't hovering over you."

I look at him. He's right. He's standing to the side.

"Who gets up startled and head butts someone to the side of them?" He grumbles as he rubs his aching forehead.

"Hmm, Captain I bet you prefer when I knock you in your head with my breasts, huh?" I smile at him cheekily. He glares.

"The thanks I get." He mumbles in a sotto voice as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Thanks? I should be grateful that you didn't let me fall asleep on my stomach like last time." I mutter. Seriously, I could have suffocated!

"It wasn't my fault that you got drunk and passed out! Actually, enough of this! The real issue here is that Matsumoto, you are in a lot of trouble."

My only response to his statement is to look straight ahead. The bed is facing the open shogi doors that lead onto the back garden. It is very beautiful despite it being dark. Little fireflies flit about illuminating here and there the beautiful yellows, reds and lilacs of the garden.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant, Matsumoto?"

His voice is soft and caring, but I still do not answer.

"Damn it Matsumoto! Answer me!" He screams, but when I flinch he makes a visible effort to calm himself. In a much softer voice, but still with a hard edge he says,

"Matsumoto, you need to let me know what is going on. They think that you are in collusion with Ichimaru. They will not have a repeat of the Aizen situation so they will not tolerate any sedition. Do you want your baby to die? Because that is what will happen to you. They will strap you up atop Sokyoku hill and execute you. You and your baby will die. I know that you don't support abortion, but is that what you want?"

"Of course not, Captain! How can you say that?" I reply heatedly. I'm not one to cry, but the tears were building up behind my lids and they finally broke like a busted dam. I was not crying at my Captain's harsh words alone. Though they did paint a grim and horrible picture, my tears were for how pathetic I truly was. I am stuck in the past. I was willing to overlook a book of horrors and tragedy in order to get my happiness. But am I truly happy? Well, these aren't tears of joy. Fortunately or unfortunately, Captain was never one for tears and the only thing tears did for him was to lubricate his eyes and protect them from foreign matter and infection. They did not pull on his heartstrings. He continued on in his usual logical and sensible manner.

"Central 46 now has the authority to detain a suspect that is thought to be lying for an indefinite period and under the revival of the _ law, they can use torture to compel you to confess."

He pauses with the intention that his words would hang in the air, but they are so heavy and stifling I can almost hear the heavy thud they make as they hit the floor; kind of where my jaw is at the moment.

"Torture?" I silently repeat.

"Yes. But as you are pregnant they might go easy on you. That is, until you make the baby of course. If they discover that the baby is Ichimaru's then they will follow orders to execute both you and your child."

Instinctively I rest my hands across my stomach.

"What do I do, Captain?" The tears are no longer spilling down my face but they are filling up in my eyes, blurring my vision.

"All the Captains have been cleared of any suspicion of aiding and abetting Ichimaru. We are irreproachable."

"That's very good." _For you_, I complete in my mind.

He smirks as if he was privy to my thoughts. I hope not!

"Sometimes you are so slow, Matsumoto."

"Huh?" I support his point with my intelligent and witty reply.

But he does not get a chance to elaborate for at that moment the other shogi door on the west wall is thrown open and in marches in Second Division Captain, Soi Fon.

"What is the meaning of this?" Captain Hitsugaya shouts.

"I am here to arrest Tenth Division Lieutenant, Matsumoto Rangiku, on the grounds of high treason against the Soul Society."

"You cannot convict her of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court! And there has been neither. As a matter of fact, there hasn't even been a trial!"

"Then she will be compelled to confess her crimes while in the Detention Unit."

'Compelled to confess?' I already know exactly what that meant. Torture. Only Captain Soi Fon could be seen in the room, but I know that her supporting officers of the Omnisukido are lurking in the shadows, ready to come to her aid at any time. And that time would be soon judging by the way Captain Hitsugaya's and Captain Soi Fon's reiatsu are bristling the atmosphere around us.

"Step aside, Soi Fon." Captain said. With that tone of voice I would have been running for the hills before he even finished his sentence. But Captain Soi Fon is not me. She stands her ground.

"I will not support treason." She replies; her face set like storm clouds.

It is so quick that I almost do not see him move, but Captain Hitsugaya rushes forward with his zanpakuto and the clang of blades echoes throughout the room as Captain Soi Fon blocks with hers. I haven't eaten anything since this morning and what little I ate is probably still lying on the floor of the Underground Chambers of Central 46, but I will protect my Captain. In an instant I am off of the bed and battling the masked officers of the Omnisukido.

With all of these people in here it feels like we're fighting in a matchbox. The sneaky bastards slink in and out of the shadows and I find it difficult to focus on any one. One would kick me in the back and as soon as I turn around, he would vanish into the shadows and another would punch me in the side.

"Matsumoto, do not fight back. Retreat!" Captain shouts at me.

"I will not leave you, Captain."

"Fool! You are preg–" But he didn't finish his sentence for Captain Soi Fon kicked him square in the mouth and he skated back a couple of feet to the far end of the wall.

Things were getting out of hand and before I knew it I heard,

"Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyorinmaru."

Only a millisecond behind him Captain Soi Fon and I both release our shikai. The room is filled with the thick, black ash of Haineko and the freezing breath of Hyorinmaru. The spiritual pressure is so thick that it cannot be contained and soon the four walls of Captain Hitsugaya's room explode sending wooden splinters and shrapnel everywhere.

As if sensing that their Captain is in danger or more likely, they heard the commotion, other members of the Tenth Division rush forward to enter the fray to battle the members of the Omnisukido leaving Captain and I to fight off Captain Soi Fon.

It's a battle that's not getting anywhere fast. Captain Soi Fon is a close range fighter, while Captain Hitsugaya and I are both long-range fighters. However, what Captain Soi Fon lacks she makes up in speed. We can shunpo, but she is on a whole other level. I suppose that she didn't leave the tutelage of Yoruichi-san with nothing to show. Already Captain has a butterfly image Hōmonka on his neck from where Suzembachi pierced him while Captain Soi Fon's left arm is frozen. And all I can think is that Captain Hitsugaya doesn't look so bad with the death mark. Maybe after this I can convince him to get a tattoo.

But my thoughts on that matter are pushed aside when Captain Soi Fon hits me in the chest. The impact of the lash knocks me over backward and she lunges forward to deliver the killing blow when I command Haineko to crush her and a thick cloud of ash encircles her. In an instant Captain Hitsugaya lunges forward to attack her back, but she activates her Shunko. The force of all that condensed reiatsu alone pushes him backward and Haineko explodes and disintegrates against the force. But Captain Hitsugaya holds his balance by hanging onto one of her long swinging plaits causing her to lose her balance. In an effort to right herself up she oversteps it and only succeeds in falling forward where Suzembachi is falling straight towards my heart. The force of her Shunko together with her massive reiatsu has me pinned to the ground. There is no way that I'd be able to dodge in time. This is it. So I escape execution only to die by poisoning at the hands of Captain Soi Fon. I just can't catch a break.

But the blow never reaches me. As a matter of fact instead of my laboured last breath, the only noise we hear is,

"Bakudo No. 63 – way of binding light."

Subdued and bound with Kido, we all look up to see Captains Kuchiki, Unohana, Ukitake, Zaraki and Kyoraku together with Lieutenants Hisagi and Kira.

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**A/N**: _So what'd you think of it? Review._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

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It's sometime around 9.30 at night and as usual I am here alone in the office completing paperwork. The funny thing is that despite the fact that I always end up doing all the paperwork, I was not always alone while I completed the work. Matsumoto was always there, either sleeping on the couch or trying to bore me until I told her to go away. If I were in a bad mood I'd tell her to shut up. If I were in a good mood I'd tell her to go away because I know that's what she really wants – for me to send her away so that she'd be free to go drinking with that lush Kyoraku. If I were in a really good mood I'd engage her in conversation. She'd be yammering away about something that would make most men want to stick their zanpakutou in their ears, but out of pure spite I'd say:

"_So what did you do? Did you buy the striped sliding halter-top bikini or the blue push-up bikini?" _

The look on her face would be priceless. The truth of the matter is that I wouldn't actually be listening to her. I'd repeat the last thing she said in the form of a question and just let her go with that. It worked like a charm. Sooner or later however, she'd catch on to what I was doing and then she'd start ending her talks with random sentences. Since I'd only be half-listening I'd end up asking her something like:

"_So you ate the lawnmower and then bathed in the mangroves' left foot?"_

Only when she'd burst out laughing that I'd realize the absolute nonsense that she just made me say.

"_See Captain, I'm not as stupid as I look." She'd say after she wiped the tears from her eyes. _

"_I'm so glad that you added a built-in insult to what you just said and saved me the trouble." _

"_Ooh Captain, that wasn't very nice."_

"_Oh and making me talk nonsense is?"_

"_You started it! You could have just told me to go away like you usually do." She'd say and pout in a way that I'd never admit was cute even if you tied me to a tree, painted me in honey and set killer bees on me._

_But it is really cute. _

"_So you'd rather spend time with Hisagi and Kira than with your Captain?" I'd tease her. _

"_Come now Captain, you know that's not true. You're the one that's always yelling at me to get going and do my job. You never want to spend any quality time with me." _

"_Well unlike you I don't have quality time to spend since I'm always stuck doing both of our paperwork. But I suppose we could talk now. What do you want to talk about? And please if you start talking about striped bikinis let me just warn you that you'll get hit in the head with a block of ice." _

"_Well, I want to talk about whether you'd let me take my vacation in the Living World." _

"_Why do you wish to vacation in the Living World? Is it because of the shopping?" _

"_Well, it's not just for the shopping, though that counts for like 90%, but the Living World has so many beautiful places that I'd like to visit, like I heard that Hawaii has a beach with green sand. Green sand, Captain!" _

"_You know there are lots of beautiful places right here in Soul Society. There's a waterfall called the Roar of Heaven in the 4__th__ District. Before you even see it you can hear the thunder of the water. It's a three tiered waterfall with each tier being a drop of over 60 metres. The water at the base is called the Mermaid Pools. It is a clear and brilliant green like liquid emerald. But I would only go there at night." _

"_Why only at night?" She would ask, her eyes large with curiosity and anticipation. _

"_Well in addition to the fact that I can't stand the heat during the day," I generally choose to ignore the roll of her eyes at this point and continue, "at night when you enter the water it lights up. The bioluminescent fish swim around you, attracted to your body heat creating a contrast of brilliant diamond-like glitter against the darkness of the water. It's like swimming in stardust."_

"_Wow." _

"_You should close your eyes and float and focus only on the tickling vibrations from the fish. And just when you're relaxed and you forget where you are, open your eyes to see the most spectacular green, blue, pink and red lights dancing in the sky."_

_She'd stay silent for a while, her face pensive. After a moment I'd ask her, _

"_What is on your mind, Matsumoto?" _

_She'd smile almost shyly and answer, _

"_I wish you would take me there." _

"_Why would you want to spend your vacation with me?"I'd ask in genuine confusion, since I know that she'd much prefer the company of Kyoraku and Hisagi._

"_Why not? I can't see why we shouldn't spend more time together outside of work. I like spending time with you."_

_I wouldn't know why, but I'd feel suddenly uncomfortable especially when she holds my gaze my like the way she would. Coolly, I'd break the stare and mutter, _

"_You want to vacation with me? I'd be trapped in paradise; emphasis on the word trapped." _

"_Ugh!" She'd scream and throw up her hands in frustration while I'd be trying my best not to let her see me smirking at her. "Oooh Captain, I know that you really do enjoy my company. You like our little talks about bikinis and I know you would love to vacation with me. Admit it. You wouldn't want any other person as your lieutenant."_

"_I think everyone else is just grateful that it's me and not them." _

"_Captain! You're so mean! Just admit that you love having me as your lieutenant! You'd miss me if I ever left!"_

They say that you never miss the water until the well runs dry and never more have I appreciated that axiom. I didn't say it then, but I'll say it now. I miss my lieutenant. It's been ten years since that night. I remember them dragging me away where I spent six months in the Detention Unit for assaulting and attempting to prevent a fellow Captain from carrying out their duties. I came out six months later with nine more years of probation to serve and to find out that Matsumoto had gone into exile.

"You're thinking about her aren't you?"

I nearly jump out from my skin when I hear Momo's voice.

"I didn't see you there. Why are you here, bed-wetter?"

"Stop calling me that, Shiro-chan!"

"It's still Captain Hitsugaya to you, bed-wetter Momo."

We stare at each other for a moment, each wishing each other a painful death by electrocution or drowning or both, until she breaks out into a smile and says,

"That's why I'm here. Hitsugaya-kun, I want to see you smile again." She says while blushing so much that she looks like all the veins in her face burst at once. She looks…cute.

I turn my head away from her. I was never quite comfortable with outpourings of emotions.

"And I know," She continues, "that what I have here will definitely make you smile."

She's grinning broadly as she hands me a file with my name on it.

"It's your release letters from probation! Now you're free to move about as you like and that Limiter that was placed on you will finally be removed, effective right about..." She looks at her wristwatch, "now."

She's right. I can feel my power returning to me. It comes back to me so quickly and so forcefully that the strength of it knocks Momo backwards. Luckily, I catch her before she hits the ground. She starts to blush again and I don't know if it's because I was trying to hide from her my blushing face or what, but I release her instantly and she falls to the ground with a resounding thud.

"Ow Toushiro!"

"Sorry. But you should have better reflexes."

"Uh huh. Thanks for that non-apology apology." She says getting up rubbing her butt. Again, I turn away.

"Annnyway, what are you going to do now that you're free to move about?"

"I'm going to find my Lieutenant."

She opens her mouth to say something, pauses, then focuses on the ground before she speaks again.

"Shiro-kun, the Captain Commander says that we should forget about those who have sided with Captain Aizen. We should move on. Matsumoto-san is no longer your lieutenant." She says this as if she's reciting a list of all the things she must not do anymore. I worried about Momo after Aizen first defected. I'm still worried.

"Neither is Aizen your Captain anymore, yet you still refer to him as such."

There's a beat where none of us really knows what to say. I worried about her when she showed up to the battle at Fake Karakura Town. I worried about her when I injured her. She looks fine now. But this, this is something very scary. Is this all an act or has she truly healed? After a while, I speak up.

"The difference between us, Momo, is that I know that Matsumoto is innocent."

"You don't know that, Hitsugaya-kun. The night that she left, you were arrested. She was taken to the hospital and then she left. At first we understood completely when she left since she lost the baby, but then Ichimaru disappeared along with her too. Hitugaya-kun, you have to admit that that is suspicious, especially for someone that was already under suspicion of being in league with him."

I have nothing to say to this because it is true. The circumstances surrounding Matsumoto's self-imposed exile is extremely sensitive.

"Shiro-chan, how do you know that she is innocent? I am Matsumoto's friend too, but even I must admit that the circumstances look suspicious. What makes you think that she is so innocent?"

I turn to look her in her eyes and she begins to blush again, but holds my gaze. With conviction I answer,

"I just do."

She holds my stare for a little while longer and then breaks it. I don't know why but she frowns and mumbles just barely above a whisper,

"I had a mind that you'd say that."

I wonder why she said that.

I get up to leave.

"Where are you going now, Shiro-chan?"

"I have to pay a visit to the Twelfth Division. And stop calling me that! It's Captain Hitsugaya!"

I leave just in time to hear her trying to stifle her giggles. Some things never change.

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**A/N**: Sorry about this short chapter, but I'll update the third chapter very soon to make up for this one's short length.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: A much longer chapter to make up for the previously short one.

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

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"Captain Hitsugaya!"

It's been ten years since I was last in the Living World, but Orihime Inoue has definitely not forgotten me judging by that reaction. She's hugging me tightly enough to cut off my air supply, but luckily she's taller now so I no longer have that fear that my death Certificate would read: Cause of Death: Suffocation; Instrument of Death: Breasts.

"Come in, come in!" She says bubbling with excitement. She more or less looks the same way and I suspect that has to do with her abilities. "Oh my goodness! You've grown!"

I start to smirk. Really? But then she says,

"Oh, not really. You're still shorter than me! But somehow you don't look like twelve anymore, but like sixteen or seventeen! Well not like how Kurosaki-kun looked at sixteen, because he did not look his age at all, but you look like a regular ffiteen year-old. More like a fourteen year-old really. Actually I don't think that you grew at all, afterall."

She unglues herself from me just in time to see a twitch develop in my left eye.

"Oops. Is that still a sensitive topic for you? Rangiku always said that you were touchy about being called short."

More twitching.

"Oh my gosh! I didn't mean to insult you. I just meant that now you won't be mistaken for being in primary school, but now you look like you're in high school; a really young person in high school almost like a child prodigy. That's better right? I mean you're still a Captain, but I suppose it's better to look young – "

"Forget about it, Inoue." I cut her off. She's flitting around nearly bouncing off the floor. She's almost a shade under Shunpo. I'm beginning to wonder if she just snorted some cocaine right before I came or injected herself with adrenaline.

"Well I hope that you're staying long. I'm home because I work at home. I put all that extra imagination juices I have to work for me and I write and draw a very popular manga based on Ichigo and the Soul Society."

She went on and on. After a while it started to sound like a low hum as all of her words blurred into one. But this was interesting. Up to now she hasn't asked me where's Matsumoto and to me that just shows that she knows what's going on. But the question is does she know where Matsumoto is?

"Inoue, do you know where Matsumoto is?"

Her bubbly demeanour seems to deflate right before my eyes and her body droops with disappointment.

"You were always very straightforward, ne Captain Hitsugaya? This is no social visit, I suppose. But no, I don't know where Rangiku-san is."

I look at this woman before me and I make a mental note that I should not underestimate her. She is stubborn and loyal. If she didn't give up when the fourth Espada, Ulquiorra Ciffer, threatened to rip her friends to shreds, she's not going to give in to me. But still, I must try.

"I know that you know where she is. I can tell by your body movements. People who lie always look to the ground first."

Her head snaps up, her eyes wide with concern.

"You're wearing that dopey smile that practically screams prevarication."

She failingly tries to suck in her cheeks in an attempt to remove that cheesy grin.

"And if you pull at your hair any longer, you'll be seriously risking baldness."

She stops fidgeting with her hair and tries to casually move her hand down from her hair to her neck. She fails again.

"You must help me. All of Soul Society thinks that she is a traitor. I only want to prove her innocence."

"It's not that I don't want to help you find her, Captain Hitsugaya, it's just that I don't want to tell you where she is."

I sweatdrop. Orihime Inoue – Master of contradiction.

"Inoue, listen to me."

"No, you listen to me Captain. Sometimes it's best to just leave certain things alone. When you go around snooping where you're not wanted, you might not always like what you find."

I stare at her. I know that she probably meant for her speech to sound ominous and threatening, but again she fails. Orihime is as threatening as a tricycle. A pink one. With stickers of puppies and flowers on it.

"I'll take the risk," is all I can think of to tell her. I turn to walk out of the apartment, but she stops me.

"Oh but Captain Hitsugaya, you can't leave so soon. I planned on making my special red bean curry with sardines and passion fruit soup."

What was that sound? Oh yes. That would be my stomach threatening me in a most hostile manner saying that if I ate any of that death-on-a-plate my stomach would not only empty all of its contents, but it would follow along with said contents. I politely decline. Next stop – Urahara's.

As I sit at the low table in Urahara's shop I wonder why I didn't come here first. Urahara is the man to see if you're a Shinigami on the run. I mean, where would you get your gigai? Where would you find canes to hide your zanpaktou in? But as the snake in the grass, also known as Urahara, blatantly lies to me and says that he hasn't seen Matsumoto in ten years, I remember why I didn't go to him initially.

"You haven't seen her in ten years?" I ask. I don't even try to hide the incredulity in my voice.

"Nope. Not since the Winter war." He answers, cheerily, while hiding most of his face behind his fan.

"Fine." I say and get up to leave.

"But I should tell you Hitsugaya-san, that maybe you should let her alone. Sometimes you might not always like what you find when you go looking for people that do not want to be found."

Urahara's eyes are shadowed by that striped green and white fisherman's hat that he's wearing and the fan is doing an excellent job of hiding the rest of his expression. But I can tell by the sudden serious tone of voice that his message was meant as a warning. Again, all I can think of saying is,

"I'll take the risk Urahara." But this time I don't say it with as much conviction.

I walk outside into the chilly autumn evening air. It feels so cool and refreshing against my skin. I'm in a gigai, but I can easily scale the wall of the warehouse that stands opposite Urahara's shop. I sit perched on the roof and take the small backpack that I was toting off of me and set it down on my lap. The sky is a dull, muted grey. Rain is about to fall.

Matsumoto, Matsumoto, why is that you don't want to be found? Are you really guilty? What should I do if you are?

I shake those thoughts out of my head as I consciously, but slowly diminish my spiritual pressure so that it'll reach just a low hum. I rummage around in the backpack until I find what I'm looking for – an earpiece. I take it out and attach it to my ear and patiently wait. I left a hidden recording device that I borrowed from the Fourth Division under Urahara's table. I patiently wait for him as I lower my spiritual pressure. Judging by my spiritual pressure alone it must seem to him by now that I am a good mile away. I wait some more and that's when I hear his voice sounding a bit grated in the earpiece.

"Ururu?"

"Yes?" I hear the familiar timid voice of the little girl that works for him. Well, she's probably not so little any more.

"You need to tell Matsumoto-san that she has a visitor hot on her heels."

"No problem."

"Hmm. Looks like it's about to rain. In times like these I bet you wish Matsumoto-san had a Soul Phone, eh Ururu?"

"It would be more convenient if she had a Soul Phone or any technological communication devices, but that would make it easier for her to be tracked down. I suppose I'll just have to make the walk, Urahara-san."

"You're such a devoted, good girl. Well, you better get going before the rain starts."

"Hai."

That was all I needed to hear.

Ururu comes out of Urahara's shop a few moments later. If it weren't for those sad eyes that always made her look like she was being abused and her black hair in high pigtails, I might've never have recognized her. She is much taller now, but still has a petite figure. She's wearing a red polka dot knee length skirt and a white jersey with sandals on her feet. I take the earpiece off and stuff it in the backpack. In that moment that I took my eyes off of her she disappeared. Frantically I look around and spott her running down a very narrow street. I'll have to be careful and quick with this one.

As I try to maintain my distance, I begin to get the feeling that Ururu knows that I'm following her. My suspicions are confirmed when suddenly she scales the wall of a nearby building and kicks a shingle down to me. Though I was a good thirty feet away from her, the force of that kick sent the shingle flying towards me like a missile. I dodged just in time and the shingle shattered on a wall just behind me.

We stood there staring at each other for a moment. She stood atop the roof looking down at me with those sad eyes of hers, daring me to follow her. Of course I was going to follow her. I did say that I'd take the risk. The street is narrow. I jump onto a dumpster, leap onto a nearby windowsill and scale to the roof quickly using the fire escape. I reach the roof just in time to see her jump to the other building and land with a deafening thud and shattering of shingles in a cloud of impressing smoke.

I run to catch up to her, but the shingles are making it difficult to get a good footing. I too make the same jump that she just made, but the shingles shatter and suddenly I am skating forward quickly and uncontrollably towards the ground unable to stop my forward momentum. I angle my body so that my feet would collide with the guttering and the sudden halt of my momentum pitches me forward and I just barely land with a painful smack onto the balcony of the neighbouring opposite building. I look up able to see Ururu on the roof of the parallel building a little above me. My face and ankle took a beating with that jump, but I will continue.

I run and leap onto the next balcony while keeping an eye on her frame still leaping from rooftop to rooftop, but she is moving too fast for me to follow her like this. I briefly consider stepping out of my gigai, but I have to admit that I'm having a bit of fun. I was under probation for nine years. It feels great to be finally getting some adrenaline pumping. And besides, the fight would be finished all too quickly if I stepped out of my gigai.

I look down onto the street and I see a bus heading in her direction. I jump the three stories down to it and nearly don't make it on. Staying on is made even more difficult when the driver mashes a hard brake and I go pelting forward. I only just manage to hold on by hanging onto the windshield wipers. The driver stares at me in shock, but I only take this time to scale back up onto the roof of his vehicle and jump onto the roof of another overtaking car. Fortunately, this driver does not notice my presence as the car zooms forward to gain on Ururu.

I look up to see that she's changing tack and she leaps from the roof and lands smoothly through the window of the opposite building two feet below her. Damn it! It's a shoddy looking apartment building of some sort. I leap off the car and tuck my body in as I roll forwards landing directly in front of the entrance. Once inside the lobby I look up the flight of stairs just in time to see Ururu running to a room on the other side. Is this it? Has she reached to Matsumoto?

My gigai is aching, but with renewed hope I tear up the stairs two at a time until I reach the third floor. There are closed doors on either side of the hallway and an open window at the end. I wonder which room Ururu went into. Or did she go out of the window? I move to the window firstly and when I move aside the slightly fluttering curtain I am met with a hard kick to my jaw that sends me flying all the way back to the end of the hallway, knocking my back hard against the glass case with the fire extinguisher.

"You should stay away, Captain Hitsugaya." Ururu says to me in that same innocent, childish voice that she always uses. It upsets me so. "I do not want to hurt you."

We stare at each other for a moment longer trying to gauge the other's movements.

In an instant I break the glass encasing the axe, hose and fire extinguisher so that I can get my hands on the axe. She launches forward so quickly that I almost do not see her leave and I have only enough time to duck out of the way. Her punch leaves a huge crater in the wall. That crater would have been my head.

I swing the axe around at her and she dodges by leaning backwards. The sharp blade skims right above her nose. She leans into the fall and makes a back flip managing to upper kick me in the face, again. This time, luckily, her force was not as strong and instead of lobbing off my head completely, I probably only suffered a severe whiplash. But I have no time for that now. I bring the axe down on her leaving huge chop wounds on the floor as she repeatedly dodges backwards.

I cannot help but note that the residents of this particular apartment complex seem intent on not coming outside. It is the first time that I have seen human beings uninterested in the affairs of others. It must be a city thing.

Ururu jumps back once more in an effort to avoid being chopped on the head by an axe. She rights herself up, spins and kicks the balusters off that were lining the way to the staircase. The concrete splinters and dust are everywhere and as I reflexively close my eyes in that moment she lands a kick on me that launches my body into the air and knocks me straight down three flights of stairs to land on the ground floor with a resounding crash.

I look up at Ururu as she peers over the area that once had a railing.

"Stay away, Captain Hitsugaya. Matsumoto-san does not want to see you."

She turns and leaves and I don't attempt to follow her. Why didn't I come out of my gigai again? Oh right. I was trying to have fun. Oh and Ururu never gave me the chance. Damn I'm out of shape. Ten years is a long time.

* * *

When I wake up the rain is heavily falling and my head feels heavy and thick because I spent the afternoon drinking sake then followed it with a nap on the couch. I get up and stumble to the bathroom. It's a small bathroom that I can barely change my mind in. I splash some cold water on my face and ignore the water that backsplashes on the mirror and has been backsplashing on the mirror for the last three weeks leaving a thin film of streaks on the bottom. I really don't fell like cleaning it. Instead, I focus only on my reflection. My eyes are still their icy blue, but seem darker tonight. My hair is still long, but at this moment it's thick and tangled and knotted. My face, though still pretty, has the couch's upholstery imprinted on most of my right side. I look how I feel – slightly crappy. This happens every year at around the same time. I'm only surprised that I didn't get as drunk as I usually do. I must be getting over my feelings of leaving Soul Society. Maybe I don't really miss it. Maybe not.

A small knock on the door reminds me that I'm not in my own little world of memories, but actually staring at myself in the mirror for an unhealthy amount of time as if I were Yumichika. Ugh. I have to stop making these references to a life past. It always happens around this time of year. I need more sake to dull the memories. I exit the bathroom and grab a slightly warm cup of sake that was atop the side table next to the couch. I answer the door and am a bit surprised to see Ururu standing there, leaning her wet red umbrella against the wall outside.

"Ururu?"

"Matsumoto-san, I'm so sorry to bother you." She says with her eyes downcast and in that voice that she always uses that makes me think that she's being abused or something.

"It's no problem. Come in, come in." My cheery voice is on. It's so strange that I can put that on automatically now. I don't even have to try. "Sake?" I offer enthusiastically.

She looks up at me mortified as if I had said, 'Formaldehyde?'

"You know I don't drink, Matsumoto-san."

"There's your problem right there."I reply and take a generous swig of the liquor wishing that I were chasing it with six aspirin. "So how come you're here so late Ururu?"

"Captain Hitsugaya is in the Living World and he is looking for you."

You know how sometimes people say that 'it hit me like a ton of bricks?' Well, I honestly felt that way and I crumpled, falling luckily, onto the couch that was right behind me. I feel winded and shocked. An eerie sort of stillness descends upon me. I was feeling nothing initially. It was just like in the battle of Karakura Town when I was eviscerated. Initially I felt nothing at having the entire side of my torso ripped out, but then the pain levelled me, much like now. Now I'm feeling that sickly sense of...what is that I am feeling? Fear? Anxiety? Shame? What is that?

"Matsumoto-san?" She bends down in front of me, being much too close. I can smell concrete on her. How odd. Her large eyes are so close to mine that I can feel a wisp of air as she blinks.

"I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting the news. Really, Ururu, you should learn how to deliver news better." I smile my fake smile again. Fully automatic.

"Hmm. Are you sure? Because you're leaking your reiatsu heavily?" She replies as she pulls back.

"Huh –" Again, she shocks me. I had no idea. Christ! I haven't leaked out reiatsu in years. I shouldn't be surprised. I somehow always managed to do incredibly silly things when it came to my Captain. Former Captain, that is. I instantly make a conscientious effort to suppress my reiatsu.

"He tried to follow me on my way here, but we got into a fight and I evaded him."

"Is he alright?" I blurt out. Damn it! I really shouldn't care so much.

"He'll be fine. I think that he underestimated me. I told him that you do not want to see him. I think that he got the message."

I snort.

"Urahara-san thinks that if you don't want to be found, you should move." She says this with a sad expression, which being on her looks about 25% more sad.

Move and go to where? I've been hiding away in plain site. I'm so tired of running. But can I really return to Soul Society? I miss my old life and my friends. But that is the same place that wants to execute me.

"I don't know, Ururu."

"What about –"

"I said that I don't know!" I snap at her and she seems to try to suck her head into her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's alright, Matsumoto-san."

"No, it's not alright. You came all the way out here in the rain to my crummy little apartment just for my sake and I'm sniping at you. I'm really sorry."

She blushes. She's a sweet girl.

"Tell Urahara that I'll come see him tomorrow. I have to think things through. My brain's all muddled now. I have a lot to take into consideration."

"Okay, Matsumoto-san." And she turns to leave.

I lock the door behind her.

Captain Hitsugaya is looking for me huh? It's been ten years since I last saw him. It seems like it's an eternity here in the Living World. But I am dead and I know that ten years is really just a drop in the ocean of time. God, I don't want to think about this right now. Tomorrow is Sunday. I want to wake up late from having a thoroughly sound sleep. Good way to achieve that – sake.

I make my way to the kitchen. Again this is a tiny area where with me being in it constitutes a crowd. I bend down to the bottom cherry wood cabinets and rummage for my hidden stash. Aha! There it is. I wiggle the bottle out of its hiding spot behind the bottle of oil and the large slow cooker that I bought because that infomercial I saw made soup look better than it ever looked before. I stand up and shut the cupboard close resting the bottle on the counter. I take out a cup from the upper cabinet, close it and spin around flinging the cup into the face of Captain Hitsugaya who is standing three feet directly behind me.

However, he ducks and the cup shatters against the wall.

I know that it's him, though he seems adamant on keeping up the charade that it's not him. The 'intruder' is dressed in black jeans, a black sweatshirt and a black ski mask. But I know that it's him. From the moment that Ururu told me that she defeated him and he backed off, I knew that he would be coming here. My Captain, I mean, former Captain, did that on purpose. He let her think that she had defeated him, while he much more stealthily followed her here.

He does not draw any weapons, but judging from the way his legs are slightly apart with the left side of his body leading slightly forward and with his hands balling and unfurling into fists, I know that he wants to fight me. I smirk, feeling proud that my Captain, I mean, my former Captain, wants to fight me and test my strength. I haven't fought with anybody in years. Especially a bare-knuckle fight. Especially with him. This should be interesting.

Shit! He's fast. Captain moves so quickly I almost don't see him, but I definitely feel the punch to my face. My head snaps back but I recover quickly. He pulls back his hand to hit me again but this time I'm a little more prepared and I block his punch with my lower arm as I try to get in an uppercut with my left hand. But he catches my punch and uses my force against me as he pulls me forward and swings me into the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen. I slam against the refrigerator, raining down magnets of pineapples and grapes on me.

He doesn't give me a chance but instead races over and brings down a hard kick onto my diaphragm. It feels like his heel went all the way through my chest, past my back and onto the cold tiled floor. That's how much it hurt. He raises his leg for a second kick, but this time when he brings it down I block it by crossing my arms and letting them take the full force making it easier for me to push away his leg. And that's when I hit him where it really hurts. I give Captain a direct kick to his groin. I know for a fact that that hurt like nothing ever. He gasps and holds onto his groin, doubling over. I jump up and deliver a swift kick to his chest sending him slamming into the kitchen sink. He reacts by taking up a carving knife from the wares drainer and swipes it at me. I pick up...a large wooden pot spoon. He stops and looks at me and even though I cannot see his expression I know what he wants to say, "Seriously, Matsumoto? A wooden spoon?"

"Fine." I mutter and ditch the spoon for a cast-iron skillet.

I swing the heavy cookware about wondering if this thing is so heavy how on Earth Ichigo manages to swing around that over-grown butcher knife, Zangetsu. I lug it around with such force that had he connected with it he would have been passed out until next week. Or dead. However, the skillet instead collides with a couple of glasses that were packed away near the sink, breaking them and sending glass shards everywhere. Captain Hitsugaya instinctively shields his eyes with his forearm and that is when I strike. I drop the skillet and pick up a large two-pronged fork and impale his lower left arm with it, but he is too quick and I was not able to dodge in time the knife he threw into my right shoulder.

"Okaa-san?"

I look up to see my daughter standing at the entrance to the kitchen looking wild-eyed at the scene before her. At this time Captain rips off his mask to reveal a face sculpted in shock.

"Okaa-san!" He blurts out looking from me to my daughter in abject disbelief.

* * *

**A/N**: So do you guys prefer longer chapters like these or shorter ones?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: The romance in this fic is squint-to-see-it subtle in these early chapters, but I promise that it is coming. Bare with me.

* * *

Okaa-san. Okaa-san. The term reverberates in my head. Matsumoto has a daughter? Matsumoto is a mother?

The child is stunning. Her eyes are large, icy, deep azure pools. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, with two bangs of hair framing her face and in this light I'm not sure if it is white or a bright silver. She looks just like her mother with her eyebrows furrowed like that.

"Akane, you should be in bed. It's late." Matsumoto says with a smile that looks more like a grimace as she angles her sore shoulder in a failed attempt to hide the blade sticking out of it.

"Yes Okaa-san, but you shouldn't be stabbing strange men in the kitchen." Akane replies and fixates her large, curious eyes on me.

Who says that? Does Matsumoto usually fight men at near midnight in her kitchen? What child sees their parent bleeding and doesn't even flinch? This is a strange child. Something about her is...different.

"Hmm, well if you want to stay up and meet our guests you'll have to help us clean up the kitchen." Matsumoto replies as she shrugs her shoulders, then winces again as she remembers that a carving knife is wedged between her shoulder blades.

Akane looks mortified at the thought of helping to clean up the kitchen. She starts to back away slowly.

"Umm...sure, I'll help you. I just have to...umm...go...do something in my room. I'll be back."

With that she turns on her heels and disappears down a corridor.

"I can't believe that you're threatening her with work to get rid of her. That's my technique." I reply absent-mindedly; my mind still reeling that Matsumoto has a daughter.

"Yeah, well, I learnt from the best."

There's a beat where we realize the awkwardness and the absurdity of the situation. It's been ten years since we've last seen each other and now we're standing in her kitchen with knives sticking out of us and the weight of a decade-long secret stifling us. I turn to her and say,

"I just wanted to test your strength after all these years only to find out that you have a daughter."

"Captain, you stabbed me!" She whines and yanks the knife out of her arm in a way that I'm sure must have hurt like hell but she manages her pain by biting on her bottom lip.

"Yeah, well you lied to me, so I don't feel as bad about that as I should."

"I didn't lie to you." She replies as she walks up to me and yanks the large fork out of my arm. "I just didn't tell you."

"That's called lying by omission. And it's still a lie."I correct her through clenched teeth as I try to stem the blood flow from my arm by wrapping it with a kitchen towel. Luckily, the wound isn't actually that deep.

"I couldn't have lied to you because I wasn't there to lie to you in the first place." She corrects me.

"Just because you didn't actually speak the words don't mean that you didn't lie to me."

"Umm, yeah I think that's exactly what it means. I didn't lie to _you_."

"No, but you did lie to all of Seretei and by extension, you lied to me."

"Wait, so let me get this straight, I lied to you by omission through an extension?"

I pause to consider her question.

"Yes." I answer with conviction.

"What?"

"Don't give me that, Matsumoto. I know that you're not as stupid as you look."

Her look of confusion switches instantly to one of anger and I am unable to withhold my smirk.

"Ooh, Captain! You're always so mean to me!"

"I'm mean to you? I'm not the one that went into exile and left without a word! I'm not the one that hid from everyone and told not a soul about the fact that she has a child! I'm not the one that basically gave everyone that ever cared about me a big middle finger before I turned my back to them! That was you! And I'm the mean one?"

It's only when I see her frosty cobalt eyes melt with hurt that I realize what I just said.

"Captain, I...I didn't know that you cared so much."

Neither did I. I have never voiced either in my head or out loud exactly how much Matsumoto's departure affected me. I take a deep breath and refocus my attentions on the wound on her arm.

"We should heal these wounds. You've gotten soft Matsumoto. My wound isn't that deep. Let me get out of my gigai and do some Kido on yours." I mutter.

"Oh Captain, I didn't know that you could do healing spells. Hmm, now that I think about it maybe you and Captain Unohana might make a cute couple. Sure she's a little tall for you, but I suppose we could work around that. There's stilts, and plat-"

I tune her out because I know exactly what she's doing. We have different ways of dealing with things, but she is like me in some ways. She doesn't like to talk about the things that hurt, the things that bother her. She thinks that no one can read through her mask of happiness and ditzy comments, but I know her better that she thinks I do.

I burst out of my gigai leaving my faux body to fall helplessly to the ground.

"Wow. It's been so long..." She whispers as she stares at me; her eyes shining with nostalgia and something else that I am unable to place. She fixates her eyes on me, forcing me to hold her stare and for the first time in a long time, I look at her. I mean, I really look at her.

She is still unbelievably gorgeous. She's wearing white pajama bottoms with pink hearts festooned all over them and a pink tank top that has a lower than average plunging neck line. Her auburn hair cascades long against her back, her lips are pouty in a way that if I remember correctly used to make men drool. Her eyes are still bright and shining with mischief and her body...well, what can I say about her body that hasn't already been said about Mt. Everest? Her body is still full of dangerous, beautiful curves and I'm sure that men are still dying to get on top of, but few if any, have actually conquered.

"Let's go sit in the living room." She says breaking us out of our reverie. I follow her into the small living room, noticing the small glass on the side table that still has remnants of sake in it. Some things never change. She sits down on the couch and I sit on the coffee table opposite her.

"Why didn't you tell me that you had a daughter? Why did you let everyone believe that you miscarried? Why did you run away? Why did you leave Soul Society and the Tenth Division behind? Why did you leave?" _Me_, I finish the question in my head, again silently shocking myself that the situation, that she, has affected me so much.

"That's a long story, Captain." She responds in an off-hand fashion.

I scoff as I pull myself closer to the edge of the coffee table in an effort to better heal her. My hands glow emerald and she winces a bit at the sudden cold feeling rushing through her gigai and into her soul.

"We're Shinigami, Matsumoto. We have nothing but time." I tell her. She sighs. I stare at her earnestly. I need her to tell me everything and not close up with a smile like the way she usually does.

"Fine. I'll tell you what really happened that night. Well, to be fair, it started a long time before that night, but for now I'll start when the Winter War ended. I didn't remember much or when exactly the battle had ended or even how. I only knew that I woke up in the Fourth Division heavily bandaged and with a faint memory of what had happened last, which was Gin saying to me, _'You're in the way,' _and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the Fourth."

"I remember when you awoke." I interrupt her. "It was a week after the Battle of Karakura Town had ended. I woke up the day before and then –"

" –came straight to my room to wait on me." She says finishing my sentence.

An awkward pause fills the air as I pass the moment focusing all of my energy on healing the wound in her shoulder. About fifteen seconds pass of us saying nothing when I finally get the courage to look up at her, but she was waiting on me patiently and she traps me with a look. A look of...guilt and gratitude is what I'd call it.

"You were saying?'I prompt her as an escape from this moment that is fraught with too many emotions.

"Huh? Oh yeah, right. I was released about a couple of days after I woke up. I remember that you spent those days sleeping on _my_ couch because you were so worried about me. Ha! I knew you cared, Captain!"

"Che! I simply didn't want you to fall on your face from fatigue and then blame me because your breasts were suffocating you." I retort and she rolls her eyes at me.

"That's precisely that kind of behaviour that caused me to tell you to go home. Maybe if I had let you stayed longer all of this mess would never have happened because right after you left that's when Gin showed up."

I pause to look at her. She doesn't refer to him as Captain Ichimaru. How could I have not noticed the relationship that she had with him?

"It was ten minutes past eleven when he showed up. I remember because when I heard the floor boards creak, I thought that it was you being stubborn and refusing to let me take care of myself. So, imagine my surprise when I looked up to see Gin standing there on the verge of collapse.

"He was pale; paler than usual. His right wrist was blackened and his clothes were stained with blood. I was in such shock, Captain I began to see bursts of red and blue and yellow. Hisagi told me that when his retina had been detached in that battle with Tousen he saw bursts of blue and red. I wondered if my retina had been detached. But it was just shock. Of all the people, I really was not expecting him. Maybe if he were someone else, maybe if I were someone else, I would have reacted differently; I might have drawn my zanpaktou. But I rushed to his side."

We turn our gazes away from each other, because we both know that had it been me, I would have killed Ichimaru right then and there.

"I know that you're probably wondering why I didn't take the opportunity to kill him. But Gin was the one that saved me from sure death in the Rukongai. We lived together for decades in that little shack before we left for the Shinigami Academy. You and the rest of Soul Society only see the persona that he wants you to see. You don't know him like I do."

"And neither did you apparently. He betrayed you, remember?" I don't know why I had to spit it out at her like bitter poison, but I was unable to rein it in.

"With Gin, I never quite know what to believe. He didn't kill me, Captain. During the Battle of Karakura Town, I confronted him. He could have killed me, but he didn't. That had been bothering me ever since I woke up in the Fourth Division. Why didn't he kill me? He had the opportunity and the strength to do it, so why didn't he do it? It's because everything that he did was in order to overthrow Aizen. He wasn't bad at all, Captain!"

"And you believed him?" I ask incredulously. She wrenches her shoulder away from me in irritation.

"I'm sorry, Matsumoto, but you have to understand why I would doubt his sincerity. This is Ichimaru that we are talking about."

She senses my doubts, but goes on haltingly.

"He's not the person you think he is. I tried my best to heal him and in those few weeks when he was recuperating I had the Gin that I always knew, not the monster that Soul Society thinks he is."

'_Will ya ever forgive me Ran-chan?'_

'_You're here in my room, aren't you? I'm taking care of you, aren't I? I'm risking my life for you, am I not?'_

'_True, but ya've confiscated my zanpakutou and ya always try ta never come within three feet of me. Without my zanpakutou I don't know what ya think I can do ta ya from three feet away, but the compliment is flatterin.'_

'_HA! Delusional. We have to get that fever down. Good one, Gin.'_

'_Made ya laugh, Ran-chan. And that's what I always wanted. That's why I joined up with Aizen. Everything that I've done has been for you, Rangiku."_

"It was the second hint I got at his sincerity. He didn't say 'Captain Aizen.' I was judging him. Tallying up his points before I made my decision of whether to trust him or let the Gotei 13 handle him. But it's not easy, Captain. For half of my life, every happy moment I ever had involved Gin. And he knew it too."

'_D'ya remember, Ran-chan, when we used to go swimming in the Naiad river? We'd spend the entire summer diving offa rocks and catchin' fish and explorin' the woods. Those were good days. And remember when that snake fell from the tree and landed on ya when we were floatin' on that makeshift raft I built? Ya screamed like a banshee and jumped straight into the river. There were prolly more snakes in the river than on the raft though."_

'_Che. In my defence the snake did fall on my head. I think that would allow me to be in a state panic.'_

'_Yeah, ya was so panicked ya forgot how to swim.'_

'_Thank Kami that you were there. You dove in and saved me from drowning in three feet of water. Ha!'_

'_Minor details. But Ran-chan, that's the point that I'm makin. I saved ya then, and I was only tryin to save ya again. And I'll do it again. Aizen's gone into hiding. I have to go back and find him. I have to kill him. Only then can we really be together, Ran-chan.'_

"Captain, I didn't know how to respond to that. I wanted to believe him and I did. It was so easy to fall back in love with him."

She says those words and I am filled with disgust that she would waste her love, her time, energy and thoughts on someone like Ichimaru.

"I hid Gin for three months until I was absolutely sure that he had completely recuperated. I found out I was pregnant the morning of my summons from the new Central 46. I didn't get the chance to tell him since when I was coming back from the Fourth that's when I bounced into you and you dragged me back to the office. Then I had my summons with Central 46 and we all know how that day ended."

"Mine ended in jail. I still don't know what happened to you after they arrested me." I question her.

"After the fight with Captain Soi Fon, I was taken to the Fourth because I started to feel sick. I started to throw up really violently. When I arrived, Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Kotetsu were busy treating Captain Soi Fon from the wounds she suffered at the hands of you and Hyorinmaru, so another unseated officer treated me. When he had finished I knew that he would have to turn me over to the guards that were standing right outside the room. They were going to torture me to confess my relationship with Gin. Do you think if I told them that I wasn't in league with Gin, I was only harbouring him in my room for the last three months that they'd believe me? You couldn't help me anymore, Captain. They arrested you and they were going to arrest me and execute me. I did what I had to do."

"What did you do?" I ask her tentatively, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She averts her eyes from me; her face red with anger, hurt and shame. Her voice is softer now when she finally answers.

"I knew that I had to get away from there and I could easily escape, but I wanted to give Soul Society no reason to come after me, so I begged him to write in his report that I had miscarried. I'd then be just another rogue Shinigami and not a rogue Shinigami carrying an heir to one of the most evil men in Soul Society or whatever they chose to call Gin. They would have definitely come after me if they knew that I was still pregnant. I begged him to falsify the report but he didn't budge.

"I know what I look like, Captain. I know that men lust after me. I dress the way I do because I think it's fun to tease them. It's hilarious to see them get flustered at the sight of my breasts. But I never give much thought to how some men yearn for me more than others. He was one of those men. I did what I had to do, Captain." She says again as if begging me to understand her. "I gave him what he wanted, which was me, but in the end I got what I wanted and he wrote on the report that I had miscarried."

I feel disgusted, but not at her. I feel disgust for the man that took advantage of her.

"You do not have to feel ashamed with me, Matsumoto. Look at me." She refuses, but I lift her chin so that she can see that I mean what I said. "You do not have to feel ashamed with me. I am your Captain and I am your friend."

"Captain, that's not what hurts the most. What hurts the most is...is that –"

The tears start rolling down her face and she is unable to speak for a moment.

"What is it?" I prompt her.

"He never came looking for me!" She blurts out. "Gin never tried to look for me! And I know that he could find me if he wanted to. Soul Society has written me off. I can live with that. You found me. But _he_ never even tried. That's what hurt the most, Captain. To know that he truly does not care really, really hurts."

She cries and cries and I move from the coffee table to the sofa to better embrace her. As she cries and I rub her back I think surprisingly, or maybe not that surprisingly, of Momo. The memories of Momo crying over that bastard Aizen, of her trying to kill me and of the lingering effects that Aizen has had on her up to this day fills me with anger. I truly and deeply hate Sosuke Aizen and Gin Ichimaru! All they do is use and discard. God! I hate them! No matter how much Momo says that she is better now, I have a sense that she is already lost. But I won't lose Matsumoto.

"Matsumoto," I call out to her after her sobbing has subsided to sniffles. She raises her head from my lap and looks upon me with weary eyes. "Let me take you back to Soul Society."

She smiles wearily.

"Captain, they may have forgotten about me now, but when I return to Soul Society with Akane in tow all of my past 'crimes' will resurface and they'd just pick up where they left off. They'd want to execute me."

"Well, I have a plan for that."

"Really?"

"Yes. First step: marry me, Matsumoto."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

* * *

"M – m -? What?" I exclaim. In my shock I'm barely able to repeat the offending word.

"I want you to marry me." Captain Hitsugaya repeats calmly and almost nonchalantly as if he only asked me to prepare his tax forms. I stare at him, not entirely sure that my young Captain is completely aware of the word marriage and its meaning.

"Captain," I start off in what I hope is a neutral tone, "I've spent ten years in the Living World trying to escape Soul Society and all of its inhabitants. Tonight, I started off by watching Japan's Next Top Model and I'm ending it with a marriage proposal by someone who just ten minutes ago stabbed me in the arm, which by the way is a pretty crummy thing to do considering that you haven't seen me in ten years. So, I'm sorry but please fill me in on how my evening started off relatively entertaining and ended with...with...this." I gesture vaguely to the space between us.

Captain Hitsugaya gives me a barely discernible smirk. I know that he can see he got me flustered by his proposition, no doubt. The bastard. I'm the one that usually gets him flustered, not the other way around. My skin is so flushed that I'm beginning to wonder whether I had broken out in some kind of hives. My pupils have dilated and my breathing is so erratic that my chest heaves up and down making me look like a living, breathing mountain. I've never been in such a state that didn't involve alcohol poisoning. I'm sure that some part deep down inside of him is secretly satisfied to know that he could trigger within me such a response. And some part in me is a bit intrigued that he can have that effect on me.

"Matsumoto, I'm sorry about the stabbing incident, but I just wanted to see if you've gotten soft, which by the way, you have. We'll talk about that later. But right now, I've thought about this marriage proposal. Come back to Soul Society as my wife. I did the research and there's an archaic law that says that by marrying a Captain, it's the only way for an exile to re-enter Soul Society if you don't have a pardon from either the Captain Commander or Central 46. As a Captain, I have been cleared of any suspicion of treason and as my wife that will definitely count for something. Your irreproachability will definitely increase as no one will question either the law or my judgement. It's the only way for you to re-enter Soul Society and not be killed on the spot."

Oh. He wants to marry me because it's a way to get me back home. It's not because he loves me or anything so ridiculous. Good thing I wasn't thinking along those lines then... Right then, now that he's sorted that out and my heart has returned from its temporary residence in my throat, I can get back to setting my obviously insane Captain straight. All that damn ice and snow must have given him a brain freeze.

"Captain, in case you forgot, I'll remind you." I start off slowly. "I conveniently disappeared when Gin disappeared. I don't know about you, but to me that kind of looks bad. The guilty don't run and though I'm not guilty, they don't know that."

"I know. There've been reports." He says in a tone that is sombre. He focuses his eyes on me, forcing me to give him my attention. "There have been reports, Matsumoto, reliable reports that says Ichimaru was killed recently."

Wha? An instant and ferocious pain erupts in the space right behind my eyes and I assume it's from trying not to let my tears and emotions come through to the surface. But they're still coming through. I blink rapidly and turn my head to the side in an attempt to avoid the penetrating gaze coming from Captain. If this is a test of some sort I'm sure that I'm failing. I try to calm my heart that is threatening cardiac arrest with its spitfire beating by taking deep breaths as quietly as possible. It's either that Captain doesn't notice or doesn't care. He continues,

"Matsumoto, I've been planting the evidence that you're to be blamed for his murder."

My head snaps back to him; breathing stopped, tears ceased in free fall.

"WHAT?"

Both Captain and Ururu need to take some sort of class in how to deliver shocking news because they suck at it!

Captain Hitsugaya lets out a sigh that seems as if that he'd dragged it all the way from the bottom of his toes. An instant chill rankle the air and I know it's because he's becoming emotional. Hmmph. Probably not as emotional as me, though. Proposes to me then tells me he's framing me for murder. God. Wait. Am I dreaming? Because this feels like the after effect of eating an entire pizza at midnight and chasing it with a bottle of sake. I pinch myself on the leg. I felt that. Damn it! I'm not dreaming.

"Everyone thinks that you're a traitor, Matsumoto, but I knew it wasn't true. I just know that you're not like that. It only became clear to me after a while, but those sad looks that I'd catch you wearing after Aizen's and Ichimaru's defection were because you were feeling betrayed. I've seen it on Hisagi and Kira and it was understandable coming from them. It took me a while, but I finally understood those looks that you tried to hide from everyone."

I turn my head away from him, ashamed that I let those private emotions come through. Captain Hitsugaya has enough to deal with. I never wanted him worrying about me. Great. Now he probably thinks that I'm just a big walking cartoon rain cloud like Izuru.

"It's kind of nice to know that you're real, that you get hurt like everyone else. But still I'd rather you didn't have those feelings at all...especially because of Ichimaru. You have no idea of how much I hate that man."

I have a pretty good idea. The inevitable sneer and scowl that accompanies him every time he says Gin's name are clear indicators. He continues,

"But no matter how much I hate him, I'm not doing this because of him. I'm doing this for you."

I don't know what to say to that. I understand why Captain would hate Gin. Really, he deserves to be hated. But somehow I feel that only I have the right to hate or love Gin and when other people say that they despise him, I feel that I must defend him; that I must let others know that he's not all that bad. But then look at what my Captain is doing.

"I've been feeding false intelligence reports to Soul Society that give the impression that you've been working with Gin. Within the last few weeks I've fed them erroneous intelligence that you've killed Ichimaru."

"And they believe you?" I ask incredulously.

"They don't have to believe me. I'm in no way affiliated to the source of the information because I've created a shadow team of informants. Soul Society believes the information to be coming out from Aizen's front. It's very complicated but I've built a ghost team to feed Soul Society mistaken intelligence."

"But is Gin really dead?"

"I don't know. We've heard nothing from him in years. Maybe he died, maybe he didn't." Captain Hitsugaya answers. I can see him trying to ignore my look of slight hurt to his cavalier attitude to Gin's status. "Whether or not he's alive or dead, if he ever were to show up, you'd be long cleared of any suspicion. I want Soul Society to believe that you're a hero, not a traitor."

I nod with a small smile on my face, finally giving into the awe that my Captain instituted a long-term plan for the sole purpose of bringing me home and proving my innocence. I didn't know that he cared so much. He truly is a genius. Just like Gin. The two men in my life are always a hundred steps ahead of me. But I must point out the flaw in his plan.

"One other thing, Captain - Akane."

"Hmm, yes. I've been thinking about her and I've come up with a plan."

"What? You've been here all of fifteen minutes! Before that you didn't even know she existed! When did you get the time to come up with a plan?"

"Sometime after I met her, obviously and before I finished healing your arm." He smirks at me.

Smart-ass.

"Oh. But wait! While you were healing my arm? I was talking to you then. You weren't listening to me!"

Captain Hitsugaya rolls his eyes and shakes his head hoping that his response is ambiguous and vague enough. I'm not however, buying into it. I stare back at him with naked annoyance.

"That's not true. I was half-listening."

He ducks just in time to avoid a throw pillow to his face.

"I'm joking." He says and gives me another smirk. He doesn't give out those smirks to just anyone, so I have to admit that I really like it when he does do it. I can't help but give him a bright smile in return and I feel a sense of relaxation wash over me. I had no idea that I missed him so much.

"You're like the singing frog." I mutter.

"What?" He asked in rightful confusion.

"There was a cartoon about a man who found a singing frog. He was ecstatic. He had found a real, live singing frog. He was so happy. He was going to be rich, he reckoned. He bought an opera house and told everyone to come see his amazing singing frog. Curtains drew up and the frog sat there, opened his mouth wide and said, 'Ribbit.'"

If Captain Hitsugaya was a laugh out loud kind of man he would have laughed out loud because that frog was funny. Instead he only smirked.

"You're my singing frog, Captain. No one believes me when I say that you make jokes with me."

"Well Matsumoto, some things aren't meant to be shared with the world or else they might lose their specialness."

"Oh Captain, I didn't think of it like that." I exclaim and offer him another one of my million watt smile. Hmmph. If I didn't know any better I'd say that Captain's flirting with me. Luckily I know better.

"Right, so Akane." He says in a formal and clipped business like tone to let me know that all jokes are aside. "What exactly have you told her about her heritage?"

"If you mean whether she knows that Gin is her father, the answer is no. I've told her that her father is no longer in the picture and that's all she needs to know." I really wish that I was able to keep the steeliness out of my voice, but when it comes to Gin I'm always bitter-sweet.

"Hmm, does she know about Soul Society?"

"A bit. I let it be known that she is a dead soul occupying a gigai and that I'm a Shinigami in a gigai. She's never exited her gigai; it ages with her. She's been home schooled by Ururu. She leads a very sheltered life. There are a lot of things that she doesn't know, though I suspect that she knows more than she lets on. She's never been to a real school and she has few friends. There are a lot of things that she doesn't know or pretends not to know and I don't mind because I think it'll be like opening up a can of worms."

"A can of worms?"

It's my time to smirk.

"She reminds me of you, Captain. She has the personality of a child prodigy. She's quiet, a bit antisocial more really with that cold personality of hers, she's quick on the uptake and actually a bit rude because she's very straight-forward. She's just like you, but without the genius talent."

With a hint of annoyance, Captain Hitsugaya replies,

"I think that's what I'd call a back-handed compliment to me and an outright insult to Akane."

I can't help but to throw back my head and laugh.

"Oh Captain, don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. She's amazing. Our personalities mesh well. She's just like you. I've had experience with you and we make a pretty good team. We mesh well, no?"

"I suppose we do. I haven't actually made good on any of those times that I threatened to kill you. That has to count for something."

"Singing frog," is all I could comment as I shake my head at him.

"So, Akane doesn't know much about Soul Society or why you're here?"

"No. I've been waiting on the right time to tell her and I know that you'll say that I'm procrastinating."

"You are procrastinating. But Matsumoto, for once you're laziness will work in my favour."

"Huh?"

"I think that in order for my plan to work, the less Akane knows is the better."

"And what exactly does this plan involve, besides me supposedly becoming a false hero of Soul Society by telling everyone that I killed Gin?"

"Well, you're going to have to tell her that I'm her father."

"Right."

Now I know that my Captain is a serious man with a brain that, had he wanted to and if applied properly, could probably bend spoons. He has proven himself to be quite capable of making jokes. Maybe not slap your knees, roll around on the ground jokes, but still funny enough jokes. But I still have an easier time believing that my Captain was proposing the world's most ludicrous and stupid practical joke.

"So let me get this straight, Captain. You want me to marry you, move back to Soul Society with you where you'll proudly proclaim that you have a wife and daughter you haven't seen in ten years –"

"That's because of the probation I was on." He interrupts me.

"Right. And I'll be off scot free because you managed to feed Central 46 false intelligence that I killed Gin. Did I get that right?"

"More or less."

"Captain, two things. There is no divorce law in Soul Society. You'd be stuck with me forever." I inform him and am somewhat pleased to see that he didn't flinch at the idea.

"I already thought about that." he answers immediately and casually, effectively squashing my pleased feeling, though I don't know why I am now feeling something akin to disappointment. I know that this is just a business arrangement. Of course he thought about it. No wonder he didn't flinch at the thought.

"And?"

"There are annulments. I'll come up with a reason to have the marriage annulled after six months. It's just to get you into Seretei and not be executed on spot." He answers.

"Right. Secondly, there aren't a lot of births in Soul Society and I kind of left on a suspicious note, what with saying that I miscarried ten years ago only to show up with a kid that looks like ten years old. They'll want to test me, Akane and you. They'll figure out that you're not her father."

"I've been working on that too." He responds matter-of-factly, but did not elaborate, for which I am grateful because this is too much for me to handle all in one night.

"You'll tell me tomorrow what this plan of yours is; probably while you're cleaning up the kitchen, no?"

Captain gives me a hovered eyebrow, but I cut him off before he gets the chance to protest.

"I'm sleepy Captain and I'm sure that you're tired as well. Let's go to bed." I suddenly get up and slam my breasts into his face. "This will help you get used to waking up next to these every morning after we're married."

"MATSUMOTO!" Captain Hitsugaya lets out a muffled scream before I pull back laughing to see my young Captain's reddened face.

Despite the laughs and my trust for my Captain, there is nothing that I could do to ease that ominous weight that had settled at the back of my mind. This was going to be the start of another new and interesting chapter in my life. At least this time, Captain Hitsugaya will be with me every step of the way.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

"You've come to take us back to Soul Society, haven't you?"

Had I been in a film this would be that part that I'd be holding a cup of tea to my lips and Akane's words would induce a huge joke splutter where tea would rush out of my nose and dribble down my chin in the most undignified way possible. However, as it turns out I am bent down, hidden behind the kitchen island as I brushed up the last of the broken glass into the scoop, saving face as Akane missed seeing me nearly jump out of my gigai. I didn't even sense her! I slowly get up to look at her.

It is six o'clock in the morning and a weak light is peeping through the kitchen window. I had gone ahead and assumed that Akane would be just like her mother and would awaken in the next two hours.

"Why would you say that?" I ask carefully; wondering whether she had really gone back to her bed last night or had she been listening, like I know Matsumoto would have done.

"Don't know. You're from Soul Society. Okaa-san's been running from Soul Society for the last ten years. You fought with her last night and stabbed her in the arm. She obviously didn't want you in her life judging by the way you looked surprised to learn a basic fact about her, like the fact that she has a daughter."

Matsumoto was right. Akane is similar to me. She stands there eyes unflinching, staring at me rudely, clinically and coldly spouting facts. She doesn't appear smug or malevolent. Her face is blank and very much unreadable. Very much like her fox-face father, but without the unnerving smile. I decide that I would not bullshit her. I know that I'd appreciate that.

"Yes. I am here to take you back to Soul Society."

"I do not want to go there."

"You are dead. You do not belong in the world of the Living." I respond.

"Though I get the impression that I won't exactly be welcomed in world of the dead either." She immediately responds, giving me the impression that she had that answer planned way in advance.

"That's quite correct. But I'm working on that."

She nods her head gently as she muses over what I've said; her high ponytail bobbing as she does this. In this light I realize that her hair is in a strange medium between Ichimaru's silver and my bleached white hair. To be more accurate her hair looks silver with white highlights. It's very interesting especially when pitted with her icy blue eyes, her mother's pouty lips and her father's angular face. She looks like what I'd imagine a Yuki onna to look like. She looks like a true demon goddess of the snow. She looks like what I'd imagine my own daughter to look like had I ever spared the time to have such a thought.

"Who are you?" She directly and rudely asks. At least Ichimaru was polite, even if he was being a facetious ass.

"I am Captain Hitsugaya Tōshirō of the Tenth Division of Soul Society's Gotei 13."

"And he's your father." Matsumoto expands as she enters the kitchen. I am shocked because 1) Matsumoto is up at this hour and 2) that is not something that you just drop on someone. Granted I am no authority of parental care especially when less than thirty seconds ago I just told a ten year-old girl that she's dead and doesn't belong in the place that she's called home for all her life, I still think that Matsumoto definitely needed to approach the situation differently.

Akane however, only rolls her eyes and huffs. I suppress a smirk, since that's something I would have done.

"Okaa-san, I'm sure that even the most brutal of parental care books would never advise you to drop life-changing information like that."

Matsumoto snorts.

"Who are you trying to fool, Akane? I know you've been wondering about it. You've been wondering whether Urahara-san is really your father." It's the first time that I've seen Akane show any emotion all morning when her face turns a startling pink, letting everyone know that her mother is indeed right. "And now that Captain Hitsugaya is here, you're wondering if _he_ is the guy from Soul Society that knocked up your mama."

Akane turns her head away in an attempt to steady herself. It was brief, but when she turns back her face is back to its steely resolve.

"Well it's not my fault that you never tell me anything about my father!" Her shouts of rage however, clash with her bid for sturdy indifference. "Because of you I'm wondering whether _any_ male you ever interact with is actually my father."

"Is that why you were looking at the delivery guy so closely the other night?" Matsumoto asks grinning at her daughter. Akane sighs.

"Forget it." Akane says and turns her attention to me. "Do with me what you will, _Otou-san_. Take me back to Soul Society. Anything to get away from Okaa-san."

Matsumoto snorts in laughter as her daughter brushes past her on her way out of the kitchen.

"Hey, you want breakfast?"Matsumoto calls after her.

"Yeah. Just add the glass shards on the floor to my tamagoyaki." Akane calls back and Matsumoto laughs again as she focuses her attention on me.

"She's a riot, Captain."

I look at her with furrowed brows, not really sure what to make of that interaction between mother and daughter. I don't know if Akane thinks her mother is joking or not, but I get the feeling that this is the norm for them – sarcastic and teasing banter.

"She's smart, but she is cold, sarcastic and rude." I comment.

"Yep. See, I didn't get a chance to miss you while I'm here because it's like having a mini, travel-sized girl version of you with me. It's quite fun actually!"

I don't know whether to be insulted or not, but I decide not to waste time on figuring it out. I put the last of the broken glass in the garbage and note that not much has changed. Matsumoto rather conveniently came into the kitchen _after_ I had finished cleaning up. Her daughter too. Matsumoto moves to the stove and starts to put rice to boil in some kind of pot and then she moves to the refrigerator and takes out a dozen eggs and I briefly wonder whether she was going to take up Akane's offer and add the glass to her breakfast. I know that _I'm_ considering it. Something about Akane left me on edge. If she is similar to me, I vaguely hope that that is not the effect I have on people. No wait, I don't. That would be Ichimaru. My face unknowingly turns into a scowl.

"Hmm, yes. That's precisely why Akane doesn't have a lot of friends, Captain." Matsumoto says, brining me out of my musings.

"What are you talking about Matsumoto? I cannot read minds."

"But maybe I can. Unfortunately it hasn't worked with the weekly sweepstakes." She pouts, "But it works on you." She comes close to me and pokes me in the forehead with her right index finger. A small twitch breaks out over my right eye.

"Really? Can you tell what I'm thinking right now?" I ask, probably giving away my thoughts with my threatening tone.

"I can, but I won't repeat it in case Akane overhears and calls you out for thinking dirty about my breasts." She smirks.

"I wasn't thinking that!" I shout in denial, forgetting momentarily that my Lieutenant loves to tease. I can see what she is talking about though. She's wearing a decent white shirt that's been made indecent by the fact that it can barely contain her massive chest and the buttons are in serious danger of becoming projectiles. She pairs it with a simple pair of jeans and slippers. I look at her and realize that she still wears that pink scarf and that necklace. In light of recent revelations about her true relationship with Ichimaru I am leaning towards the idea that those are gifts from him. I want to rip the scarf and necklace from her neck and throw it down the garbage disposal in the sink. Hmm. Why I suddenly want to do that is inexplicable to me.

"Hee. So uptight, Captain. You and Akane would get along fine. And that's what you were originally thinking about weren't you? She's a bit...cold, but you'll get along fine. You were wondering if you marry me and take this girl as your daughter would you be able to get along with her or would you see Gin in her every time you look at her; every time you look at me." She says as she starts to break eggs into a bowl and whisk them.

I am surprised that she is able to read me so well. Am I that transparent? Maybe it's that Matsumoto knows me better than I thought. It doesn't matter. I'm not reneging on my plan. I will get Matsumoto and her daughter out of exile and back to Soul Society where they belong and I say as much.

"It doesn't matter what I think. All that matters is that I get you and your daughter back to Soul Society. It also doesn't matter whether I see Gin in her every time I look at her. What matters is whether _Soul Society_ will see Gin in her every time they look at her. You told her that I am her father. I take it that means you are accepting my plan to get you back to Soul Society?"

This is one of those rare moments when the serious side of Matsumoto comes out. She doesn't stop making the tamagoyaki. Her back is to me as she faces the stove and pours the egg batter in, but her shoulders suddenly droop a bit and when she speaks her voice is slightly heavy, as if she wants to tell me everything that is troubling her, but yet not.

"Oh Captain. I have been here for ten years and it still does not feel like home. I work as a sales assistant at the Isetan Department store in Shinjuku. It pays. I spend my free time with Akane, Orihime, Ururu and the rest of Urahara's clan. It's fun, but I miss sipping sake with Captain Kyoraku, Hisagi and Kira. I miss getting into petty fights with Yumichika. I miss hanging out with Nanao and trying to get her to be a little wild. I miss chatting with Momo. I miss harassing the dead daylights out of you. I miss the Tenth Division. I miss being a Lieutenant. I miss being _your_ Lieutenant."

She turns around and looks for a plate on which to place the rolled omelette. I walk to the cabinet and pull out a black, rectangular dish and she places the tamagoyaki on it. She goes back to the refrigerator and takes out more ingredients like green onion, tofu and wakame seaweed. I assume that she's going to make miso soup.

"But that's not the life that Akane knows. She knows here. She doesn't know Soul Society. She doesn't know you. And to her, it looks like both Soul Society and you are trying to kill me. One she's right about, the other, she's mistaken. But at the end of the day, she doesn't belong here. Just like me. I don't belong here, but I know that Soul Society doesn't want me there either, Captain. I've already made up my mind. I am following your plan because I really want to go back home, but I have to admit that I'm a bit cautious. What if the plan fails and not only do they execute me, but my daughter as well. We may sound like we can't stand each other, but that's just the way we get along. I love her more than anything. I also don't want to jeopardize you. One of the reasons I left was because I didn't want you to be in any further trouble because of me. And now look at what you're risking for me."

"That's understandable. This is a risk for everyone Matsumoto." I start off. She turns her back to me and starts to put the ingredients for the soup into a small pot on the stove. She's moving so quickly and efficiently and it's the first time that I notice how much having a child has impacted her. Before she would have rolled off of her bed near ten o'clock and eat whatever was in arm's length. But now I suppose, now that she has another life depending on her for nutrition, she's taking her duty seriously.

"Matsumoto, if this plan fails the possibility exists that all of us will be executed. You, me and Akane will be killed if they ever learn that we are lying. I did not originally cater for Akane in my plan. She is an unpredictable factor. I do not know how to read her. I do not know her. She is smart, Matsumoto. I can tell that she doesn't believe you when you told her that I am her father and she is a key factor."

"No offense Captain, but if I were her I would have trouble believing that you're my father too. You look like fourteen." She sniggers. I growl at her as my reply.

"Anyway, despite the fact that Akane was never a component in my contingency plan, it is obvious that I must incorporate her. However, I think that in an attempt to keep things in our control we should only let her know the basics of our plan. If she does not know the whole truth there is no way for her to confess the truth when questioned."

"Sounds fair enough." Matsumoto mutters.

"While you were sleeping last night, I prepared notes for you to study on your supposed assassination of Ichimaru." Her back is to me again, but I see the subtle stiffness of it when I mentioned his name. When will she ever get over him?

"They will question us on our marriage and our so-called love for each other. I think that we can pass that. We've known each long enough that I think we can answer some questions on ourselves."

"That's true. Favourite food: watermelon and amanatto. Use of hair products: Nope. My Captain has natural bed head." She giggles.

"This is no time for joking, Matsumoto." I reprimand her. "They will try to purposely mislead and badger you into giving up the truth."

"Don't need to remind me about that, Captain." She mutters darkly and I realize that I might have been a bit insensitive. She of all people would know what it's like to be badgered into a confession by Central 46.

A silence passes between us and she uses the time to take out the rice into some dishes.

"What I mean," I start up after a while, "is that they will ask us some...personal questions in order to assess whether our marriage is a sham or not."

Matsumoto's face breaks into a loud grin.

"Captain, that wouldn't be too hard, no pun intended. You know where everything goes and if you don't I can give you a lesson in anatomy and we can work our way back to the theory." She says all this while gently nudging me in the face with her breasts.

There's that twitch again.

I push her away a little more violently than was necessary and some rice spills from the spoon that she was holding and rolls down her jeans to land in a sticky heap on the floor.

She makes an exaggerated gasp as if it were some pearl-clutching moment.

"Captain!" She exclaims, scandalized, but wearing a face-splitting grin. It is impossible for me not to smirk at her exaggerations.

"Anatomy?" I say, "You want to teach me anatomy? I have a way that I can teach you about anatomy. Let me point out your face." I say as I scoop out a ball of sticky rice and throw it at her. It hits her smack in the forehead and just sticks there, so now she looks like she has a third, white eye and then it slowly un-sticks to roll down her face and land smack on her breasts.

"Oho! It's like that. You know Captain, they say that you really shouldn't overreach, and in your case that especially applies to you," I roll my eyes at her as my response, "so you should be careful not to let egg fall on your face."

She moved too quickly for me to dodge a piece of the tamagoyaki that she threw at me and now indeed, I have egg stuck to my face. And she laughs. And not just any laugh too. She bends over and slaps her knee, barely able to breathe from all the laughing she does.

"Come now Matsumoto. It wasn't that funny!" I growl at her as I take up a kitchen towel to wipe the egg from my face and out of my hair.

"Oh Captain, you should have seen your face! It was hilarious! HAHA!"

"Oh shut up." I mutter. It loses its bite because I'm finding it difficult to keep the smirk off of my face. She looks so happy. This is the Matsumoto that I know. This is the Matsumoto that haunted my mind every day of the last ten years. This is the Matsumoto that I missed. I don't know what possessed me, but I stretch my hand out and wipe the few grains of remaining rice away from her face. Carefully and gently I pass the kitchen towel over her forehead and down past her cheeks and onto her chin. I don't even realize that I'm slowly and dare I say, sensually wiping away the imaginary rice on her neck and collar bone. My hand slips down to her chest. It's heaving up and down as if she just came back from running a marathon. I look up at her and I can see her trying her best to control her breathing and she's looking at me with hesitation, slight confusion and...what is that...it's...it looks like...like lust! Dear Lord, what the hell am I doing!

I pelt the towel at her unsuspecting face and turn around quickly to busy myself with – what the hell is there for me to busy myself with? Nothing! Aha! I start to put the dirtied knife and plates into the sink. I hear a slight snort and snigger behind me. Must return to professional state. Must forget that what-the-hell moment.

"Come now, Matsumoto. Keep up with me. We have a lot to fine tune before we leave for Soul Society in a few days." I say with my back turned to her as I begin to wash the few dirtied wares.

"You need to lighten up and just live in the moment." She says. I'm on edge because this would be the time that she would hug me from behind and squeeze my head between her massive breasts. But for whatever and merciful reason she is keeping her distance. I think that I breached something just then and despite her casual talk I can sense something awkward with her. I dare not turn around to face her.

"Maybe you need to be a little more serious. Not everything is fun and games." I respond.

"Pssh. You sound just like Akane. Maybe she's your kindred spirit."

"I don't think so. I don't even like children."

"Well that's great to hear because I will never accept you as my father whether it's true or not! I will not go to Soul Society!" Akane screams at me and turns on her heels to bolt for the door.

* * *

"Akane, wait!" I scream after my daughter when I hear the front door slam shut.

"Shit!" I mutter as I exchange looks with my Captain.

"Where do you think she's going?" He asks, finally turning around to look at me.

"I don't know. But she does this when she's angry. Run, that is. She's a master evader. I usually leave her alone and she comes around. But I have a feeling that today is different." I explain as I hurry to find her.

"Wait! Do you want me to come with you?"

I stop and turn to look at him, regret is in his eyes.

"No, it's okay. I'll handle this." I answer him and bolt out of the apartment.

I run down the stairs and out of the apartment building where I stand on the pavement wondering if to go left or right. There is no traffic on the road. There is a cold, chilly breeze that adds a sort of eerie feeling to the already slate grey autumn sky. I feel as if any moment now War of the Worlds is about to start.

It's been a long time since I've had to search for reiatsu, but now is the time. I close my eyes and feel the wind rush past my ears. It's so loud for a second I wonder whether I was transported to the top of a mountain or something. My world is suddenly filled with a million tiny threads of reiatsu. Where is the thin, red one that I'm looking for? Where? Where? Where? There! I stretch my hand out to grasp the surprisingly thick red ribbon that represents the spiritual pressure of my daughter, but when I grab it, suddenly the ribbon turns and I am now holding the neck of a ferocious red dragon. In fear and shock I drop the ribbon and open my eyes.

What the hell!

I break out into a run in the general direction of where I saw the red ribbon dragon leading to, which was to the right. I'm terrified to close my eyes and search for her spiritual pressure again. That was so strange! I've never had to look for her that way before. She's always been there. But...what was that?

Running down the surprisingly empty street looking from left to right down roads and alleyways, when as I run by the Shinjuku Gyoen park I spot a flash of bright white-silver hair. Gotcha!

She's sitting on one of the swings that are a bit off away from the serene lake; gently rocking back and forth when I come up to her. The park too is empty. Where is everybody?

"Since when do you come looking for me, Okaa-san? You usually leave me to calm down." She doesn't look at me, her eyes on the ground, focused on swinging.

"I know, but today you seem different." I respond as I take a seat on the swing next to her.

"Well, yeah! You never tell me anything!" She suddenly screams at me and that's when I notice it! That's why no one is on the street. Akane's spiritual pressure is stifling, cold, negative and eerie. It tastes like...like...fear. It's driven everyone out through pure fear. The world has run and hidden from my daughter as if she was a horrible storm that is approaching. What is going on?

"You need to calm down." I say to her in the calmest voice I can muster.

"No, I do not need to calm down!"

There it is again. For the briefest of moments her reiatsu flares and I glimpse it – the red dragon.

"Calm. Down. Right. Now." I repeat and for the second time in less than twenty-four hours after a period of ten years, I let out my reiatsu. Only I don't let it leak out, but I pour out massive amounts in an attempt to overwhelm her reiatsu. She stops swinging, momentarily stifling under the weight of my reiatsu. I let up after I see that she has calmed down.

"I'm sorry, Okaa-san." She apologizes and bends her head in shame, while she tries to catch her breath.

I breathe a soft sigh and give her a bright smile so that she wouldn't see how much she scared me then. What is really going on?

"Everyone gets angry sometimes." I say.

"It's just that I wish you would let me know what's going on. You've never told me why if we're dead souls, why are we here in the Living World. You've never told me anything about my father, and then all of a sudden you tell me that this Captain Hitsugaya person is my father. You've never even mentioned him before! What's really going on?"

Usually when Akane would ask those questions I would tell her to stop asking me those questions. And when she'd ask why, I'd tell her the classic favourite among parents worldwide - 'because I said so.' Somehow, I have a feeling that that's not going to work this time.

I look at my daughter and she's staring up at me with her blue eyes, which is not the same shade of blue as my eyes, but it's the same shade as Gin's. Gin. That bastard. What am I to say? That her father is a wanted felon who was an accomplice to the single most heinous act of treason in the history of Soul Society? That he used me? Oh, and that when I left Soul Society he never once made any attempt to find us and I know that he could find us if he really wanted to. What a disappointment.

"I left Soul Society because I was on suspicion of treason due to my association with an old friend of mine."That's not a lie. Gin is a very old friend of mine. "And your father, Captain Hitsugaya, tried to save me from an arrest, so I left in an attempt to save us and to save him from further trouble." Okay, so the par t about Captain Hitsugaya being her father may be untrue, but the rest of what I said is true. That has to count for something right?

"So Captain Hitsugaya is really my father?"

"Yes." That was a direct question and it was only fitting that I answer her by looking in her eyes and lying directly. If she believes this to be the truth, then she can only repeat the truth if ever compelled to confess, no? It's for her own good really.

"So where was he all this time? Why didn't he ever come to look for us?"

"Because, he tried to save me the night that they came to arrest me and he had to serve six months in prison then follow it with _nine _years probation." I stress on the nine years part in an attempt to make it seem like it was an eternity, but I know that that nine years is like nine minutes in Soul Society. See, if I had told her that Gin is her father and she had asked that same question, what would have been my reply? A disappointing and soul-crushing your father never came to see us because he doesn't care? No, I lie for a good reason. Akane needs someone like Captain Hitsugaya in her life. He is loyal, dependable, supportive, he's a good role model, he's a good listener and teacher and he has a moral compass that's not broken and always pointing due evil, unlike a certain fox-faced former Captain.

"He doesn't like me. He doesn't even like children. He's not a nice person." She responds quickly as if to say, 'aha! See he's not perfect!'

I stifle a smirk at her approach. She seems so determined on hating him (understandably, really.)

"Do you see his height? He looks like fourteen, sixteen depending on how deep his scowl is on a particular day. Akane, he's a Captain that everyone judges in a not so favourable way because of his height and looks. People always underestimate him and make jokes, saying that he looks like a kid. His way of dealing with that is to simply ignore to the point that he comes across as cold and abrupt. He's had so many kids joke to deal with that he wants no one to associate him with being a child. But it isn't that he doesn't really like children. In many ways he's similar to you. A lot of the kids around here don't speak to you because of your looks and your personality. I think that given the chance, you two will really like each other. You have similar personalities."

She looks at me aghast. How dare I compare her to that stone cold, insensitive robot back at home?

"Captain Hitsugaya is a great man. He has only just met you and he will readily give his life up for you. As a matter of fact, he's putting his life in danger just to bring us back home to Soul Society."

She snorts.

"That's your home."

"No, that's our home. You are a dead Soul. You and I belong in Soul Society."

She does not look convinced and I understand why. Here is where I would admit the flaw in my tell-my-daughter-nothing strategy that I had employed over the years. I should have gushed on and on about Soul Society, so that by the time a situation like this arose she would have been the one to first want to jump out of her gigai to get there.

"You belong in Soul Society. Not me." She counters.

I try to respond and reach as far as actually opening my mouth when she cuts me off.

"Something's off. He's my father or so you say. You haven't mentioned a word about him. Not a picture, not a slip of the tongue. Nothing. Do you still love him?"

"Of course I do!" I answer hastily and guiltily. The little brat smiles. See, this is her father, her real father that is, showing himself in her. Gin, that bastard, loved to torture the mind.

"Why? Why do you love him?" She asks with a pretend innocent face. Gin would have been so proud and if I weren't on the receiving end of this mindfuck I would have been proud too.

"Well...I love his...his white hair and his eyes. You gotta admit that his eyes are stunning."

She looks at me blankly as if to say, 'seriously?' I really wish that I wasn't still a bit stale drunk from last night. I take a deep breath and start over. I have to convince her that Captain and I are in love, so if asked she can repeat that her parents are indeed sickeningly in love star crossed lovers who have found a way to be together after all these years. Or something like that.

"Captain Hitsugaya is an honest man. He's hardworking and he's smart. He's really, really smart. He's...a great listener. He's serious, yes, but he shows me his fun side every now and then. He's dedicated and he's a gentleman. He has this way that a tic develops when I tease him. It's so cute because he's so shy. And he looks really cute when he's doing paperwork and the papers are stacked so high that I can only see the top of his head. Oh and I love his hair. It's gorgeous especially with those eyes of his. Those eyes – there the most brilliant blue that I've ever seen. I don't think he knows how good-looking he is. And he's powerful. Did I tell you that he has the most powerful ice-based zanpakutō in all of Soul Society? He knows what he's doing. He's intelligent and he's powerful. Do you know how sexy that is? He's –"

I cut myself off when I notice Akane staring at me with a slightly raised eyebrow. Oh my goodness I meant everything that I just said about Captain Hitsugaya!

"Hmm, well Okaa-san, you sure sound like you're in love with him, though I'm still not convinced, since you insist on calling him Captain Hitsugaya. I'll give him a chance, though."

And with that she gets up and walks off leaving me stunned. Trapped by a ten year old. After a few moments I hear,

"She's right though."

I jump so much that my breasts nearly spill out.

"Captain, I told you before to stop sneaking up on me! You nearly made me spill out! Or is that what you really wanted all along?" I ask him cheekily with a raised wiggling eyebrow. He ignores me. Damnit. Because I was really hoping to get him off the topic of what Akane just said. He continues in his usual logical and matter-of-fact way.

"You did a good job of making her believe that you're in love with me. I hope that you can do that when you get questioned by seasoned interrogators and not a precocious ten year old. But she's right. You should get used to calling me Tōshirō. Just like how you call Ichimaru, Gin." He spits out Gin's name like it's bitter and with that he too walks off leaving me to wonder exactly where did the line blur between the acting and the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: Thanks for reviewing and putting this story on your alerts and favourites!

* * *

It's near seven o'clock on a Thursday night, the night of the Lantern festival and my mind hasn't been in this much turmoil since the incident with Aizen. I don't know what to make of my current situation. I've been distant with Matsumoto, which I suspect is due to do with the incident in the kitchen on Sunday when I touched her...inappropriately. I have no idea what propelled me to do such a thing and I sincerely wish more than anything that I could forget it. But my mind is tormenting me. All I see whenever I close my eyes is the look on her face. It looked like...like...like something that makes me very uncomfortable when considered in relation to Matsumoto. It looked like longing; a craving. I might have been able to ignore it had I not been consumed with the exact same desire. For the past few days I have been avoiding her because I cannot deal with these...feelings. Every time I look at her my mind wanders to that moment and I swear that my fingertips tingle as if the memory of her touch is burnt onto my skin. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe it's because I haven't seen in her ages and my immunity to her has fallen. I remember the first time that she joined my squad I was blushing every two minutes when she'd 'accidentally' bump into my face with her breasts. The time spent apart has had unexpected consequences I suspect. That has to be the reason for this. That _has_ to be it. I will not accept any other reason because I have too many more important things to worry about. Like Akane.

This child. I can't seem to figure her out. She's like her real father in that respect and that leaves me with feelings that I'm unsure about. She's cold, rude and a bit stand-offish, but I don't seem to get that feeling of simmering danger and malevolence like I used to get with her father. Yet on Sunday, after Matsumoto ran behind Akane when she bolted from the apartment, I felt a nasty, heinous and wicked reiatsu in the vicinity of Matsumoto. A terrifying and real fear gripped me and I raced to where I sensed Matsumoto's reiatsu. But when I reached her in the park there was no trace of that evil and foul spiritual pressure. Instead I sensed only Matsumoto's and nothing, absolutely nothing from Akane. But what really has me thinking is the fact that Matsumoto has mentioned nothing about the evil spiritual pressure and I know she felt it for it disappeared right after she poured out so much of her own. There is a mystery surrounding that child. But I suppose it goes well with the rest of the unsaid things in this apartment. My feelings for Matsumoto, her feelings for Gin, the lies we tell Akane about her true parentage, Akane's true powers. There are a lot of things that are not being spoken. I wonder if it's better to leave things as it were. Is this what Urahara meant when he told me that I shouldn't look for people who don't want to be found?

But I don't get much time to dwell on the matter for Matsumoto has found me and as usual is disturbing me from my musings.

"Captain! I'm beginning to think that you're suicidal by the way that you always like to hang out on the edge of rooftops." She says as she climbs up onto the roof via the fire escape. She nearly doesn't make it through what with her breasts keeping her back a bit. I turn my head away.

"Not suicidal; just homicidal." I reply with all of the excitement and passion of fried tofu.

"Ooh, Captain! That wasn't very nice." She says as she takes a seat next to me on the edge of the building. She's too close to me. I want her to leave. Or at least scoot over a couple of feet.

"I thought I told you to call me Tōshirō." I remind her a bit distractedly.

I hear her breath hitch in her throat but I refuse to look at her. Instead I focus on the brilliant night sky. It's a dark and silky ink blue littered with stars as if someone had spilled shining dust in the sky. I'd rather be alone right now. Alone with the stars. I don't want to have to be making a conscientious effort to focus my thoughts away from Matsumoto and the way that the scent of her hair is making that effort all the more difficult. Her hair smells like orchids and waterlilies. Why doesn't she just put her hair up! Che. She has her hair wafting in the night breeze. I'm beginning to think that she purposely positioned herself in the wake of the wind so that I'd get a nostril-full of her intoxicating fragrance.

"Tōshirō," She says my name and I feel as if she made it into a wine-tasting. Never before have I had the feeling that someone is swirling around my name in their mouth searching for complexity, expressiveness and character. Never before has anyone said my name with that much sex. How in Kami's name is she able to do that? I turn to look at her and immediately regret it. She looks stunning. What the hell is going on with me!

"Are you avoiding me?" She asks and fixates her eyes on me. "Is it because of what happened Sunday?"

Oh great! Matsumoto have you no tact, I scream at her in my mind. Can't you see that I don't want to talk about that...that...incident with you?

"Because if Akane already said that she's willing to give you a chance, then it's only fair that you give her a chance too. You can't keep avoiding her like this." She continues.

Oh.

She wasn't even referring to that almost-indecent moment we shared. Hmm. It seems that of the two of us I'm the only one that was affected. How silly of me to let my mind wander like a young school girl.

"I have a lot of things on my mind, Matsumoto." I try to say evenly, but my tone comes out mysteriously bitter. And either she ignores it or more than likely she misses my tone completely.

"Come now Captain, I mean, Tōshirō, you should lighten up and give Akane a chance. We're to leave for Soul Society in a few days. It only makes sense that you get to know your new daughter and wife." She winks at me and before I get chance to scold, roll my eyes, twitch or do any of the things that would usually trail a comment like that, she grabs my hand and leaps off of the building with me and tow.

"Matsumoto!"

We land on the pavement with a concrete cracking thud.

"ARE YOU INSANE!" I scream at her.

"Oh lighten up." She shrugs as she brushes off dust from her dress and off of her legs. "We were only three stories up."

"That's true," I jump when I finally notice Akane standing right next to me. Why can't I ever sense anything from her? "Only three stories up and you're still late, Okaa-san." She says dryly and with all the emotional range of dishwashing liquid.

"Well I would have arrived quicker but your father over here didn't want to let gravity have its way with him. Scared he'd die."

"Isn't he already dead?" Akane asks as if I'm not here.

"I know right." Matsumoto duhs; again as if I'm not right here.

"Tsk, tsk. _Otou-san_ you are so weird." Akane comments as her mother concur and they start walking in the direction of the park.

I'm weird? What the hell kind of family am I marrying into!

As we walk past the throngs of people on their way to the lantern festival I notice that Matsumoto and Akane receive a lot of stares. For Matsumoto I think it's because she's wearing a very short, strapless and colourfully printed dress despite the slightly chilly weather. I suppose it goes without saying that half of her chest is exposed. Five men have walked into poles since she started walking down the road; the rest of them sustained injuries from slipping in their own drool. Matsumoto: loving it and cracking up. Me: silently killing those men with a cold, death glare.

Akane similarly is receiving a lot of attention for her looks. She is striking. She's let down her hair tonight and I suppose it looks odd for a ten year old girl to have silver hair with white highlights against a backdrop of such captivating blue eyes. She looks uncomfortable under the attention and more than once I see her raise her hand as if to tie up her hair, but is unable to quite make up her mind. I want her to tie it up because if one more person points and stares at her I just might gouge out their eyes. I know all too well what she is going through. Then Matsumoto says,

"Oh Tōshirō, you really are getting quite the stares with that white hair of yours." She says this as she fluffs her daughter's silver and white hair in an attempt for it to be bouncier and more voluminous and hence, more eye-catching.

"What?" I ask her in confusion. She could never be serious.

"I'm serious. Look at how everyone is staring at us. It has to be your hair. You should cover that up when you're in public. If you know people are going to stare you can't just let it hang out like that. It has to be you. What else could it be?" She scolds. Her purse falls to the ground and when she bends to pick it up at least five men trip and walk into more poles when she nearly completely exposes herself.

Akane looks at me and shakes her head.

"I can see why you fell in love with Okaa-san," She says to me, "You must have a true appreciation of irony." She says and smirks at me. I cannot help but smirk back. Hmm. The kid's got jokes.

Matsumoto knows we don't like crowds. Hmm. When did Akane and I become a united front against crazy Matsumoto? Anyway, Matsumoto knows that we don't like crowds and so she leads us straight past all of the people milling around the huge floats with lanterns hovering high in the air and instead leads us to the top of the hill just past the park where Inoue, Urahara and the rest of his crew is waiting for us.

"Ah, Captain Hitsugaya, Matsumoto-san, Akane-chan. I'm so glad to see that you've made it." Urahara chirps his greeting as Ururu spreads a blanket and Yoruichi in cat form crawls onto it and promptly sits down.

"It looks so pretty. The light from all the way down there is so bright that it's shining all the way up here too." Ururu says as she too takes a seat on the blanket.

"Ururu, you're always so sappy!" Jinta says and he gives her a noogie, I think is what they call it in the Living World, messing up her pigtails.

"Ow, Jinta! Stop that! Ow!"

"Crybaby." He says, but laughs. Ururu gives him her best frown, but changes her countenance to a weak smile when she sees Akane.

"Akane-chan!"

"Ururu-san!" Akane smiles and runs over to sit on the blanket with her sensei. It's the first time that I've seen Akane smile and I have to say that she should never again do that. She took after her father in the smile department. How unfortunate. Rude, anti-social and a horrible smile? I silently thank the heavens that she has a friend in Ururu.

"Rangiku-san!" Inoue chirps and soon she and Matsumoto are sitting on the blanket with the others chatting away idly while I lean against a tree a bit off from them wishing that I was somewhere else and trying my best to ignore Matsumoto as she loudly throws back her head and laughs.

"If you're trying your best to ignore her it helps if you actually turn your head away from her." Yoruichi says from atop one of the tree's branches. As usual my face betrays me and a slight blush forms on my cheeks. It's a good thing that it's dark outside.

"What are you talking about? Do all women expect me to read their minds?" I ask in a tone of high annoyance.

She laughs and a soft purr trails it at the end.

"Kisuke's finished with what you asked him to do, by the way." She says switching the conversation topic. Or at least I thought that she was switching it, but then she says, "You know Soi Fon and others have asked me why I left everything in Soul Society and risked my life and my innocence by going into exile with Kisuke. She doesn't seem to get it when I tell her that one will take great risks for the person that they love. But I'm sure that you understand what I'm talking about since you're doing it too."

I look up at her sitting in the tree and her yellow eyes twinkle and she laughs as she jumps down from the tree and walks back over to Urahara. Hmmph. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I don't know what she's talking about. There's no love between Matsumoto and I. This is simply a business arrangement.

"Alright everyone! Listen up!" Urahara says and everyone stops what they're doing to focus their attentions on him. "I propose that we play a game."

"Ooh I love games. What kind of game, Urahara-san?" Inoue eagerly asks.

"Well I was going to suggest that we play pass the sake bottle, but then I remember that we have young, impressionable and beautiful children present." He replies and looks at Akane over his fan.

"Two out of three isn't bad, eh Akane." Matsumoto ribs her daughter with a smirk, while Akane stops smiling and returns to looking like her usual blank self. Thank goodness because that smile was...disconcerting.

"But maybe we can play pass the lantern instead." And he pulls out a small, white rectangular mesh candle lantern. "Come now, everyone stand in a circle." And they all obey willingly. Isn't he charismatic. "It's simple. We must pass the lantern to the next in line, but the catch is that you can't use your hands or feet – only your body."

"What!" Inoue and Ururu scream.

"Oho! This sounds like fun!" Matsumoto squeals with delight, while I can see Tessai blushing as he wonders whether he can change his position and go stand next to her instead of next to Jinta.

"If you drop the lantern when passing it to the receiver, you are out. The last person left is the winner. Everyone should take part, including you Captain Hitsugaya." Urahara says and he turns to me. His fan is out and is blocking most of his face, but not seeing his face isn't stopping me from wishing that I can kick him in his teeth.

"Ooh _Otou-san_, you should definitely play." Akane says. I hate the way that she calls me father with that mocking tone.

"No." I reply and she clears her throat and next I hear,

"Please Tōshirō."

I freeze. It is not possible for anybody to say my name that...sultrily, but somehow Matsumoto manages it. I am in such a stupor that I let her drag me to the circle.

"Good. I'm sure that Okaa-san and _Otou-san _will have no problem with all this physical contact. I mean, they had to have at least some of it to make me, no?" Akane says and smiles at me. Trapped by a ten year old. Not only did she get Ichimaru's smile, but she got his mind-fucking abilities too? I quickly pull Akane to stand between her mother and me, but she moves to stand between Ururu and me. I cannot deal with something like this with Matsumoto now. Not after what happened on Sunday.

Urahara hands Jinta the mesh lantern and he briefly looks at it wondering how on earth is he supposed to pass the lantern to Tessai using only his body.

"Use the crook of your neck, Jinta." I tell him and he looks amazed at the simple and obvious solution. He passes it to Tessai with not much difficulty for the boy has grown almost as tall the Tessai, though for a second they looked as if they were about to start a yaoi kiss scene as they both turned their heads to the side and leaned in.

"Alright, everyone. Clasp your hands behind your back. I don't want any cheating." Urahara says.

Tessai passes the lantern to Ururu with not much success and the lantern falls to the ground, so he was out. In his defence it's difficult when the other person is considerably shorter than you are. Ururu transfers the lantern to Akane successfully, but when it's Akane's turn to pass it to me, she purposely fumbles and declares herself a loser. Huh? Why didn't I think of that?

"Oh that's not fair!" Jinta shouts.

"We should have something in place to deal with that kind of sabotage to the fun of the game."Yoruichi says, again with a twinkle in her eyes.

"You're right. If you purposely fumble, from now on we'll bind you with kido to the person you must pass to."

Great. Like I need to be bound to Matsumoto right now.

"Why only from now on?" I shout at them as I see my grand master plan to avoid touching Matsumoto slip from me.

"That's just the rules of the game," Urahara says and adds in a sotto voice, "that I make up as I go along."

"Come now, Hitsugaya. Pass the lantern to your fiancé." Yoruichi adds.

Those sons of bitches. They are all in this together with Akane. I turn to look at Matsumoto and she has a faint blush. How odd. This is the first time that I've ever seen her blush or be uncomfortable about anything around me. I cannot begin to fathom why she would have a blush. I'm the one with the ambiguous feelings here, not her.

Matsumoto is considerably taller than me, so I must now work out the physics of how I'm going to pass this lantern to her without using my hands or legs. What ensues is the most indecent that I have ever been with her or any other woman for that matter. She saddles up to me, but soon realizes that she'll be too tall for me to pass the bottle to her neck, so she tightly slides her body down mine. She stoops in front of me, but her massive chest is getting in the way. To overcome, or rather, make the situation worse, she smashes her body against me; her breasts now pressed up against my chest. We are now so close that we risk being fused together. I attempt to pass the lantern to the crook of her neck, but her long hair is getting in the way. I try to brush it away with my face since my hands are clasped behind my back and only succeed in brushing my lips against her neck and shoulders. She gasps. Her reaction surprises me, but it is my involuntary reaction below the waist that surprises us the most. I pull back from her immediately; mortified and the lantern falls.

We both stand there looking at each other, our eyes wide with shock, our faces flushed with mortification and something dangerously close to desire. Then we hear it – laughter and it comes from the most surprising source – Akane.

"AHAH HAHA HAHA HA!"

She doubles over in laughter. Matsumoto looks at her with furrowed brows for a second, but then she too breaks out into a face splitting grin and soon she too is laughing and everyone else joins in. Unfortunately, I am unable to keep my smirk as I shake my head and walk away in an attempt to walk off my erection.

* * *

"I hope you know that we just got manipulated by a ten year old." Matsumoto says with a smile on her face as we walk home later. Akane is up ahead of us. The streets are quiet and clear at this time at three in the morning. We take a short cut through the park in an attempt to get home faster.

"I know. The shame; the embarrassment." I reply as I remember what happened between us.

"That the first time that I've ever seen her laugh like that. I hope that you're not too angry with her, Captain."

I'm angry at myself for feeling these...feelings. I want them to go away. But I don't tell her that. Instead I say,

"Akane's smart. I hope that she puts her brains to better use at The Academy in Soul Society, but I'm not angry at her. She's a good girl."

"She still doesn't want to go." Matsumoto says suddenly sombrely. "And I understand why. She doesn't know there. She knows here with Ururu and the others. She's safe here. I don't know if she'll be safe there."

I stop to look at her and she stops too.

"I promise you that I'll never let anything happen to your daughter or to you. I'll do it even if I have to wage a one-man war against all of Soul Society. I didn't protect you last time, but I'll do it this time. I don't want you running anymore."

The air turns a bit colder because of all the emotion that came out in that little speech. She stares at me with gratitude and something else that I cannot place. But the moment is ruined when someone says,

"Well, well, well. Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku. I never thought that I'd see those jugs again!"

We spin around to see who said that and standing atop the merry-go-round behind us are two Shinigami that I have never seen before. One of them looks to be about six feet tall. He's a broad man, with a cruel looking face and a fringe haircut that makes him look like a henchman for a comic superhero. The other's about five feet, ten inches and he too is broad, all muscle with his hair in long plaits.

"I always remembered you, Lieutenant Matsumoto of the Tenth Division." The one with the fringe says. "Kinda hard to forget." He says and makes a rude gesticulation to Matsumoto's chest.

"Who are you?" She asks.

"I am Matsuyama Daichi and this here's Taniuchi Yuu. We're rogues just like you. We were just in the area and imagine our luck coming upon you. We've been in this town for years and then bam! Last week Sunday all of a sudden we feel this massively dirty reiatsu and then it was followed by an even more massive outpouring of reiatsu – your reiatsu. I always remembered your reiatsu, Lieutenant. It tasted sweet and fun. So I said to Taniuchi here, 'wouldn't it be great if we could bring home one of the most notorious exiles back to Soul Society? Why we'd make a fortune and we'd be heroes!' We really didn't think we'd find you so soon and we really didn't think that we'd find you with Captain Hitsugaya."

I stare at these foolish men. They know who I am. They know who Matsumoto is. They must have a death wish.

"Go away!" Akane says. Matsumoto and I spin around to face her. We almost forgot about her. But suddenly there it was; the dirty and monstrous reiatsu that I felt on Sunday. So it really was Akane. But why? And how?

"Akane, run home. Now!" Matsumoto screams at her daughter. Akane opens her mouth to protest but then we all hear this ripping noise coming from the night sky. Holy shit! Out steps a Menos Grande with at least fifty other inferior Hollows. Matsumoto and I stare at each other. We burst out of our gigais.

"I'll take care of the Hollows, you take care of the rogues." I command her as I leap into the air.

"Hai." I see Matsumoto faintly lower her stance and part her legs ever so slightly as she turns her body at an oblique angle so that one shoulder is facing those men, her hand already on the hilt of her zanpakutō. It's been so long since I've seen her like that that a wave of nostalgia overcomes me.

Akane stands there looking confused and angry, but pouring out massive amounts of her foul spiritual energy.

"I said to run home!" Matsumoto screams at her.

She barely has time to finish the sentence when one of the men strikes and she only just in time dodges out of the way and blocks with her zanpakutou. The clang of swords echoes through the silent park. But I don't have the time to sit and watch Matsumoto fight because I must protect Akane. The child refuses to run probably out of fear of leaving her mother. She is stubbornly loyal. She is stubborn.

"Sit Upon the Frozen Heavens, Hyōrinmaru." I don't have time to waste. I must defeat these Hollows. I cannot afford for more Hollows or worse, more Shinigami to arrive here. I swing Hyōrinmaru and sharp shards of ice become visible and form a spiral around me before the ice dragon materializes. Hyōrinmaru crashes into the lesser Hollows freezing them all while their screeching cries pierce the night as they disintegrate to dust.

I quickly look back at Matsumoto. Her opponent's swordsmanship is messy, but she has been out of practice for years. But what he lacks in technique he makes up for in brute force and determination. His thrusts are pushing her back as he relentlessly crashes down on her with his zanpakutou, never giving her an opening and driving her back. This man has her neck rolling to avoid being decapitated. She flips in the air and literally bends over backwards to avoid being hit. Bending over backwards by the way? Not a good idea for someone as well endowed in the chest area as Matsumoto. Physics takes her out as she topples over backwards and his zanpakutou clashes with the hard ground when she rolls to get out of the way. A huge cloud of dust arises from where his zanpakutou collided with the ground. That could have been her head. Damn she's out of practice! But the dust will be to her advantage. I hear her say,

"Growl, Haineko."

Only nothing happens. Che. She hasn't used Haineko in years, no wonder her zanpakutō doesn't materialize. She must be pissed.

She leaps onto one of the swings and her opponent follows suit onto the swing next to hers. His sword thrusts are direct and unimaginative and she uses that against him. She lets him draw in closer and she dips and ducks her head left and right to avoid being stabbed in the face. As he draws closer that is when she shifts the chain from the swing set, trapping his zanpakutou between the links. He has no time to respond when she jumps down from the swing and kicks it with as much force as possible, forcing it to go all the way around the bar tangling up both his hands and his zanpakutou between the loops of the chain, pulling him forward to hang from the chains helplessly. It is now that she strikes. She doesn't sever his hands completely, but the cut she makes to his wrists are so deep, he'll never wield a sword again.

A bright light and sickening sound reminds me that I was doing something before – fighting a Menos Grande. I look up to see it forming a Cero. I easily dodge but should I really have dodged that? The Cero is going to collide directly with Akane.

"AKANE!" Both Matsumoto and I scream.

But the strangest thing happens. Akane's reiatsu floods the park. It is intense and dirty and from it pounces a terrifying blood-red dragon that opens its mouth and completely absorbs the Cero.

My Lord! How did she do that with her reiatsu alone? I turn quickly to finish off the Gillian, but it is retreating. And so too are the Shinigami.

"DEMON!" One of the rogue Shinigami screams at her as he cuts his friend loose from the chains. Matsumoto is standing there with a look of fear and shock and confusion.

"I am no demon!" Akane screams and focuses her attention on to the Shinigami. With just a look from her both men stifle and collapse under the weight of her immensely wicked reiatsu.

"Akane stop!" Matsumoto and I scream at her, but either she ignores us or she doesn't know how to stop.

"Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and tear out your own throat!" I shout from the air the Kidō incantation of Hōrin and spiralling yellow ropes binds Akane, but her reiatsu is still out of control. I have no idea as to what to do.

Mercifully, Ichigo Kurosaki shows up and pours out massive amounts of his reiatsu until Akane passes out.

"Tōshirō, Matsumoto. What's going on?"

I have no answer to give him because I honestly don't know. Matsumoto's eyes are ready to spill over in tears as she rushes over to her daughter.

"Thank you, Kurosaki." I mutter; gratitude, shame, concern and confusion overcoming me. He surveys the scene around him.

"You should go. I don't know what's going on here, but that little girl will get you in trouble. More Hollow will come and more Shinigami will come." He says to me.

Matsumoto and I exchange looks. I feel a gut-wrenching sense of failure when I see the look of fear and confusion in her eyes. I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but I will not leave Matsumoto's side; neither Akane's. Saving them is more than just an option now. It is my duty.

* * *

**A/N**: Review please. Let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: I am so sorry for this late chapter. Hope you like it!

* * *

Sometimes when you run in your dreams it feels as if your legs are moving in molasses. They move slowly and each step is laboured and takes longer than it should. That is how I feel as I race to the far side of Karakura town with my daughter in my hands. I simply couldn't get there fast enough, even though I am shunpoing so quickly that everything around me blurs into thin, smooth, colourful lines. My body is tense yet jerky with a current of anxiety running through it. It is the first time that I have outrun Captain Hitsugaya. Please, I beg to any higher power, please let my daughter be alright.

"URAHARA!" Captain screams as we come to a skating halt in front of the former Captain's shop. The door opens immediately to reveal Jinta and Ururu. They simply step aside as if they were expecting us to come here. I wouldn't be surprised if Urahara knew exactly what was going on. He always knows more than he lets on. Urahara pads into the foyer of his shop, his eyes dark and serious under his crime-to-fashion striped green bucket hat. He gives us just a look and leads us into the main sitting area where Tessai is standing just inside, waiting.

"Matsumoto-san please lay down Akane-chan on the tatami mat." Urahara instructs me.

"Wait!" Captain interrupts. "Urahara, do you know what's going on with Akane?" Captain Hitsugaya asks. He doesn't bother to ask how Urahara knew of what happened just now in the park. He accepts the fact that Urahara always knows more than he lets on.

Urahara looks at me pointedly and I place Akane on the tatami mat before he begins to speak.

"No, I don't know what's going on with Akane-chan. That gigai that I built for her is the same type of gigai that I built for Ichigo's father, Isshin. It's not supposed to let out any reiatsu even as the gigai ages with the occupant. I'm not sure what is happening to your daughter, Matsumoto-san and Captain Hitsugaya," Did Urahara really just refer to us as a single parental unit? Hmm. How odd. I mean, he knows that Captain Hitsugaya is not really Akane's father. Though, as I chance a look at Captain, one would definitely be surprised to learn that he's not actually her father what with his look of deep concern and slight fear in his eyes. Urahara continues,

"However, what I do know is that at this moment Akane and neither Karakura town is safe with her like this."

"WHAT?" I blurt out.

I feel as if my heart plunged into an icy cold abyss. My lungs have abandoned their job and breathing becomes a burden as my eyes sting from trying not to let tears fall. I look at my daughter lying unconscious on the mat. In this lighting her hair looks completely silver and she looks like how Gin looked sleeping when he was younger. I cannot lose her. I love her too much. I feel a constriction across my chest as if someone wrapped my heart in piano wire. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my lower back. It's Captain Hitsugaya.

"Calm down. She'll be fine." He says it forcefully as if it's an order, but I can see in his eyes and I can feel from his touch that he really cares, not just about me, but about Akane as well. He holds my gaze and tightens the pressure on my back by making small circles with his thumb so that I can feel the warmth coming through from his hands and I slowly start to feel myself relaxing. He notices that I'm relaxing and he removes his hand, though, I really wish he hadn't.

"He's right, Matsumoto-san. Tessai-san will place a seal on Akane-chan so that her reiatsu will not escape like that. It's not permanent and it is dependent on her. She will need to get training on how to control and hide that part of her reiatsu because if Soul Society ever finds out about her she will be deemed a threat and actions will be taken to deal with the threat."

He lets his words fall heavily on our ears like an anchor sinking into the sea. Neither Captain nor I say a word.

"Why don't you sit and wait in the room next door while Tessai-san places the seal on her?" He suggests and leads us into a room next to one we were just in. In a daze I let him lead us out of the room and I turn back just in time to see Tessai clap his hands together and Kanji characters glow green in concentric circles around Akane.

I am feeling too much. My mind is not satisfied with feeding me fears of how I can lose my daughter, but it finds it necessary to remind me of how I lost Gin. I feel as if I'm reliving every moment that he ever left without telling me where he was going and a sense of rejection and failure resonate deep within me. I lost him. I cannot afford to lose her too. I sit staring numbly and blindly ahead. I need sake now. I cannot deal with these feelings. These negative emotions are not me and I am not used to dealing with them sober.

"She'll be fine." Captain says, mercifully wrenching me out of my thoughts. I turn to look at him and there's a pain in his eyes that I haven't seen since Aizen first revealed his deception to all of Soul Society. "I'll train her to cover her reiatsu. She'll be fine."

I nod and manage a weak smile for him, but that anxious fear is nagging and gnawing at me still.

"Nothing will happen to her in Soul Society." He reassures me, but I say nothing. "Have faith in me, Matsumoto."

I turn to look at this man sitting beside me. Sometimes I wonder how come he is single. I suppose once you chip away the cold exterior you'll realize that he is someone that is actually quite easy to fall for. He is young, but tonight I can see his eyes dull with guilt and fatigue. He doesn't have to do anything for me. Akane is not really his daughter and I am not really his wife. However, it is obvious that we have crossed the line of simple Captain and Lieutenant relations. He is what the man that I love should be like. He is what Akane's father should be like. I should love him, but I won't go there. He can be good for me, but I won't go there. He could make me happy. I could make him happy, if only I weren't...me.

"I have faith in you, Captain. I trust you with Akane's life. I trust you with my life and you can trust me with yours." Just don't trust me with your heart because I am sure to mess that up.

Captain Hitsugaya opens his mouth to respond, but in comes Urahara cutting him off.

"The seal's been cast. She'll probably sleep for a couple of days because of exhaustion. Here is what you wanted, Captain Hitsugaya." And he hands Captain a small box. Neither of them elaborates on what it could be and I don't have the energy to care to ask. Like I said, I trust my Captain. "You should leave for Soul Society now. More Hollows are coming. They're being attracted to Akane's residual reiatsu at the park and giving Ichigo a hard time, not that he can't handle it, but the attention isn't really wanted."

We nod grimly as Tessai and Ururu silently come into the room toting a sleeping Akane not in her gigai, but in her soul form. Tears are sliding down Ururu's face as she passes to me her student and only close female friend. I am so grateful and happy as I kiss my daughter's forehead and smooth away her hair from her eyes. I had wanted to give Akane a huge farewell party, but obviously things don't always go as planned...

Suddenly Captain Hitsugaya bends to make a deep bow with his forehead touching the tatami mat.

"Thank you for everything Urahara-san, Ururu-san and Tessai-san. Thank you especially, for everything that you've done for Akane."

I stare at him in shock. I had no idea that he cared so much.

"It is nothing." Urahara replies, "I would do anything for those who wish to return to their home." Captain gets up and for a brief second we glimpse the fall of the mask that Urahara so carefully wears.

We walk outside into the early light of dawn as Captain opens a Senkai gate to Soul Society.

* * *

When I first went into exile the feelings that stayed with me the most was a sense of loss, failure, unsettlement and a longing for home that could not be relieved. As soon as I enter Soul Society however, I feel lighter and for a moment I briefly forget why I ever left. But of course Captain reminds me.

"Matsumoto, we must get married quickly." He says to me as we enter the 1st District of West Rukongai.

"It's the only way for you to enter the Seretei and not cause an alarm."

I'll admit it. I've fantasized about my wedding to Gin numerous times. But as I shift Akane's weight on my arms and sign my name next to Captain Hitsugaya's on the marriage certificate I cannot help but feel a pang of disappointment. I do not wear an all-white silk wedding kimono, I do not change into an ornate deeply coloured kimono to signify that that'll be that last time I wear such a kimono that is reserved for single women. There is no ritual sharing of sake, there is no wedding banquet where each dish represents wishes for happiness, prosperity and fertility. When the registrar clerk stamps the certificate I feel like a sentence was handed down. Captain Hitsugaya turns to me and says,

"Good. Now we're married and they can't execute you on the spot."

I can't help it when I reply,

"That's good because that would put a damper on our honeymoon." I say in an attempt to be my usual cheerful self, but it comes out unexpectedly bitter. And either he completely ignores me or more than likely he didn't notice it at all.

"We'll stay at my grandmother's until Akane wakes and is feeling better enough to enter the Seretei. She'll be better in no time with all the spirit particles that make up Soul Society." He says and I nod dumbly. I follow him blindly like I always have, not saying anything; disappointment making my tongue heavy.

Captain's grandmother surprisingly asks no questions when he shows up with his Lieutenant and a child in tow announcing that he'd like for us all to stay here for a day, maybe two. He does not find it necessary to let her know that I am not merely his Lieutenant, but as of thirty minutes now, I am his wife and that the child in my arms is now his. Instead, she simply focuses on the fact that she has company.

I think it's so sweet how much attention she pours over Captain. I get to see a different side of him. He's not angry or quarrelling and frowning or any of the things he usually does in my presence. She tells me how happy she is that I convinced him to become a Shinigami so that everyone could see just how great he really is. She tells me that if it weren't for me that no one would know how warm and friendly he really is and not the cold heart that everyone thinks he is. I smile politely at that one because everyone still thinks that he's a cold hearted bastard. He lets her tell him that he's getting too skinny from working so hard. If I'd tell him that he'd say that he was getting that way because _I_ leave all the work for him to do. She tells me embarrassing stories of him as a baby and he simply sits there and listens. While Akane is sleeping in the other room I tell his grandmother my stories of all the cute and mischievous things Akane got into as a baby and all of the mischief that I do to Captain and again, he simply listens. It's a side of him that I've never seen before. I had no idea that Captain Hitsugaya respected family that much. He further proves it when he constantly checks up on Akane with me. I look at him adjusting her blanket and a yearning for this to be real hits me. At that moment I sincerely and strongly wished with all my heart that Captain Hitsugaya could love me and my daughter for real and not because of his sense of duty to save me. I shake my head and bolt out of the room to the back veranda. I do not want to fall in love with him. This is a business deal, I remind myself like a mantra as I stand on the back veranda in the fading light of dusk. Boy do I wish I had some sake now.

Behind me I hear his footsteps, which is odd because he usually (whether consciously or not) masks his presence.

"What is the matter, Matsumoto?"

I do not know how to explain to him that I'm looking for him to give me something that he can never give me, so I lie. I plaster my biggest, fakest smile that I can muster and think of the most perverted thing I can say to annoy the hell out of him.

"Oh Captain, you know the real reason you ran after me is so that we can get started on our honeymoon, no?" I wink at him and fold my arms under my chest so that my breasts would be even more prominent.

Nothing. No twitch, no rolling of the eyes, no furious admonishing of my name, nothing. He simply stares at me blankly.

"You know, it's no fun when you simply ignore me, Captain." I sulk and turn away from him.

"Shut up." He replies tiredly and I beam turning back to face ihm. We're back to normal. That's what I want – normal. A silence, a relatively comfortable one, passes and after a while he breaks it with,

"Are you worried? Are you worried that this plan won't work out?"

"Do you really think that people are going to believe you married me for love?"

"And why not?"

"Come on, Captain. You have like twice the amount of brain a regular guy has and I have like, you know...really big breasts. No one's going to believe that you saw me and made a beeline right for me with love in your eyes."

"They won't make too much of it. I'll tell them that I'm just trying to balance out the species. Someone's gotta do the dirty work."

"You sure know how to make a woman feel special." I reply sarcastically, but there is no bitterness in my voice. I'm just happy to be back to normal with him.

"My grandmother likes me."

"Yeah well, you aren't married to her, now are you? You're married to me."

"Don't remind me." He says with a smirk and I ignore him. "But seriously, Matsumoto, is that the reason that you're looking so sad?"

"It's just that..." I start off, but feel very uncomfortable, so I jerkily switch directions. "It's just that I could do with a drink and you look like you need one too. You know what you look like you need? You look like you could do with a stiff Blow Job."

"WHAT?" Captain looks like he just choked on an umbrella. It. Was. Priceless.

"It's a drink," I reply matter-of-factly, "with ½ ounce of anisette and ½ ounce of Irish cream." I cock my head to the side and rearrange my features to look completely innocent as I ask, "What did you think I meant?"

"Idinnitinknytin." He mutters something unintelligible all the while looking like a substitute for a fire engine.

"What was that Captain? I didn't quite catch that."

"Nothing." He replies anxiously. Hee!

"You're probably wondering why you married me, aren't you."

"Why? Why me?" He mutters and shakes his head."

"Hey you're the one that married me."

"I married you for the same reasons that America invaded Iraq. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now..."

"Oh come on, I know you're happy that you married me."

"Happy is a strong word, but I can't think of a word that best describes my I-just-stabbed-myself-in-the-foot feeling."

I get this pinched up feeling on my face as I try my best not to laugh.

"But enough about me, why do you seem so unhappy?"

"I'm not unhappy."

"You were frowning just now. I've never seen you look so sad."

"You've never seen me sober." I mumble.

"Matsumoto." He growls out and then sighs. "Rangiku." I am shocked that he is calling me by my first name after almost a century of 'Matsumoto.' "What's bothering you? Why do you never like to tell me what's really wrong?"

"Nothing. I just wish that I could get a drink or go shopping."

"Why do you always want to do those things?"

"It's what I like. It makes me happy and calm." So does taking about six aspirin, but I don't find it necessary to tell him that. "Don't you have things that you like to do that make you happy and calm? What do you like to do, Captain?"

"Um...well..." And he goes a bit red from embarrassment? "Of course I do!" He finishes snappily. I look at him suspiciously and then it finally occurs to me. Like a whistleblower I point my finger at him dramatically and say,

"Wait! You don't have anything that you don't like to do!" It wasn't a question. "You have no passion! You're a robot! You're a toaster with white hair!"

"And you're an idiot." He deadpans. "Stop with the _J'accuse_ attitude."

"I'm not accusing you of anti-Semitism, Captain, I'm just saying that you're real name should be iRobot."

He looks at me quizzically because I know he can't believe that I got his _j'accuse_ reference. I don't feel like letting him know that the reason I got the _j'accuse_ reference is because of the number of accusatory letters Gin wrote to innocent people for the sole purpose of fucking with their minds. Those were good times. Oh poor Kira. Hmm. Gin accusing others of dirty deeds? Now that I think about it, I think that would be considered irony.

"Matsumoto, of course I have things that I like. I just don't want to tell you. You wouldn't get it."

"Really? If you don't tell me what you like to do, I'll flash you." I say in a murderous tone. He looks like I just threatened to waterboard him.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh yeah?" I respond and slowly loosen my kimono so that even more of my breasts can peek through.

"Okay, fine!"

I smirk, but then narrow my eyes at him and with a touch of seriousness I ask him,

"You're gay, aren't you?"

He gives me a slightly raised and highly irritated eyebrow in response.

"Hmm. I just figured out a way to get our marriage annulled." He announces suddenly.

"Really? You're gonna say you're gay?"

"No. I'm going to plead temporary insanity after I murder you."

I throw my head back and laugh.

"Somebody needs a Screaming Orgasm." I mutter as I fold my arms under my breasts, but suddenly feel an icy cold chill. "What! It's a drink! Stop getting angry and freezing the place! Do you want me to accidentally poke your eye out?"

He looks at me quizzically and I look at him with a raised, wiggling eyebrow before he notices my erect nipples and he again turns the colour of a candy apple.

"Why? Why me?" He mumbles and grumbles like a regular madman as he shakes his head in despair.

"You know none of this would have gotten so out of hand if you had just told me what you like to do." I say. I must keep him off the topic because I absolutely refuse to get back onto the topic of why I am unhappy.

"Fine. Do you want to know what I like? I like art. I like painting. I like photography. I like sculpture. I like art. It interests me. There."

"You like art? What's your favourite subject?"

"The body in motion."

I have the perfect opportunity to tease him about that line, but I end up being the one that slightly blushes as my mind betrays me and thinks about my body in motion with his. Good Lord! What the hell is happening?

"The body in motion?" I ask wanting him to expand and hoping that he didn't notice the slight redness to my face.

"Okay. How do I best explain this to you?" He pauses to ask himself as he passes a hand through his permanently dishevelled hair. Suddenly without any warning whatsoever Captain launches a punch straight to my face. I dodge just in time and instead on feel a strong gust of wind that sounds like a roar being so close to my ear.

"Captain! What the –"

"Calm down and let me explain. Did you notice how your body moved? Your entire upper body swerved to the right," He says as he traces the movement by hovering his hands just a couple of inches above my body. His hands gently directs me to the right and I move with him in slow motion as he demonstrates, slowly pushing me and pulling me back but not actually touching me as if he is bending the air around my body. "While your lower body," he continues as both of his hands hug the air around my hips, "was rooted to the spot. And your hair?" He gently sticks his fingers in my hair and the sensation sends a thrill that tingles my hair follicles and shoots back down all the way down to my toenails. "It moved in the opposite direction; your hair moved to the left."

We stare at each other. Him with his hands all tangled up in my hair and me, standing there like an idiot as if I only just realized that I have hair on my head. But the truth is that I not thinking about my hair at all. I'm thinking about _his hands_ in _my_ hair. I'm thinking about the proximity of our bodies, that we're close enough to be able to notice the fine and barely discernible hairs on our bodies; that right now we're standing stock still and how much I wish I wasn't thinking about _our_ bodies in motion. No, no, no! I snap myself out of this reverie. It must stop now, so I ask,

"You noticed that in that one second?" I ask incredulously and he shrugs as if he doesn't know he has the power to slow down time and pick apart frames at his leisure. He removes his hand from my hair after realizing that he held it there a second too long and quickly folds his arms in a manner to display complete nonchalance as he tries his best to distract me from his blush by coughing and clearing his throat. He even goes as far as to pretend to have a coughing fit. I wasn't looking for him there. That kind of nervous habit happens usually with men who have feelings for me and don't know how to approach me –

OH MY GOD!

My Captain has feelings for me!

That weird scene we shared in my kitchen a few days ago, all the time he spent avoiding me a few days after that same incident, his completely understandable and yet still surprising physical reaction to me when we played Pass the Lantern that night, his weird blushing just now – all of the signs that I ignored...

But maybe I ignored those signs because there aren't really any signs to begin with. Maybe I'm just reading too much into things because to be honest most of the times Captain acts like my mere presence makes him want to fall on his zanpakutou. Oh how great it would be if I could have fallen for my white-haired prince Charming and have a happy little family. But I might as well face the facts. I'm in a business arrangement with my Captain who married me because I made a mess of my life by falling for the monster, not the prince Charming. I'll never have that happy ending with either Gin or my Captain.

"You have a real appreciation of physics, Captain." I tell him kind of lamely as I try to think of cogs and gears and concentric circles – anything to get my mind off of that lingering feeling of his touch on my hair and all the places he didn't touch, but I wish he had. _Stop that_! I remind my thoughts.

He looks at me a bit suspiciously as if he didn't expect me to make an intelligent comment.

"You think I'm an idiot, don't you?" I ask him.

"What gave it away? The innumerable times that I told you just that? It was a joke." He adds the last part hastily as my reiatsu flares.

"Anyway, I try to find the art in science."

"Those two things don't really go along. They're polar opposites." I argue. "Science is objective, clinical, cold, systematic and logical. Art is free in spirit, open, subjective, emotional and lawless."

"Maybe that's what science needs. Maybe art needs more science and structure. Look at architecture. That is science and art coming together to surpass the limited notion of what people say will and won't work. Look at Fallingwater by the architect Frank Lloyd Wright. He built his house partly over a waterfall. That right there Rangiku, is the perfect union of opposites. Science appeals to our desire to have knowledge, to figure out the way that the world behaves, while art –"

"Art gives shape to our emotions." I finish for him and he smiles at me. An actual smile, not a smirk, not a simper, not a sneer, but an actual grin. I feel like I just witnessed Haley's Comet because just as quickly his smile was gone, but the mirth was still present in his eyes. It's probably a good thing that he doesn't smile too often because then he'd have to literally beat the girls away.

"Yes. Just like when I saw you move then. I looked at the actual physics of the movement and I felt the emotion that stemmed from it. Science and art are two opposite forces that appear discordant, but are actually in harmony with each other."

"Kind of like you and Rangiku-san." His grandmother suddenly says. She moves from the doorway and comes fully out into the veranda, picks up a broom that was situated in the corner and leaves us to pick up the pieces of her world-shattering comment.

Captain and I stare at each other. It's a different look now because we just realized something. I just realized that he feels more passion and emotion than most. He isn't a cold-hearted automaton, but quite the opposite; he notices and immerses himself in emotion. And Captain just noticed that while drinking and shopping are my favourite things to do, I am more than just another big-breasted flake. It is possible to have intelligent conversation with me. We both just realized that indeed, we would be great together and worse yet, we have the opportunity to put the theory to the test. It is an astounding revelation. We stare at each other for a moment, wondering. Suddenly Captain turns on his heels and leaves.

For the rest of the night we speak no more of science and art or anything of the sort. As a matter of fact Captain does not speak at all. He doesn't even come with me when I check up on Akane later in the night. He looks like he cannot stand the idea of being in a relationship with me and I have to admit that it hurts to know that. His grandmother insists that she'll sleep with Akane and leave the 'newlyweds' in the main room to ourselves. Boy was that a cold nuptial bed. Captain lies next to me with his back turned and I do the same. We are so weary from worrying about the situation with Akane, with my re-entrance into Soul Society and with these new 'feelings' for each other that sleep comes quickly. We have no pillow talk, no conversation whatsoever. In retrospect I wish that I had said something to him because when the Omnisukido kidnaps me in the dead of night, no one has a clue.

* * *

**A/N**: Hey guys (including all the people that put me on their alerts), review please. ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

* * *

I am not accustomed to sharing my bed with another person, so when I roll over sometime around two in the morning and feel no one there I don't make much of it. Instead I simply revel in the fact that now I have more space to myself. I roll and the scent that's been plaguing me for about week now is there. Okay, if I have to be truthful the fragrance's been plaguing me since the moment that I first met Matsumoto in the Rukongai, but it's only recently that it's hijacked my olfactory senses. I roll and the fresh, flowery scent of orchids and water lilies comes on strong and I sink deeper into the pillow and sheets that smell of her. I feel guilty and high like I've been taking opium. High, because the fragrance is intoxicating and is stirring within me a yearning to touch her so badly that my nerves feel raw and tense. I feel guilty because I am not supposed to feeling that way about my Lieutenant, never mind that she is my wife; this is a business arrangement. I snuggle deeper into the pillow and feel guilty that I can get away with this indulgence because she's not in the bed with me. Wait. She's not in the bed with me. I bolt upright and nearly have a heart attack when I see Akane standing at the doorway. She jumps back, alarmed when suddenly I sit up and look at her.

"Jesus Otou-san! You scared the hell out of me!" She says and tightly clutches her chest as if she's guarding her lungs from oxygen thieves.

I look at her to gauge whether she's serious or not. She stands there trying to rein in her breathing and looking at me reproachfully. She's serious. Seriously insane, I conclude. Just like her mother.

"_I_ scared you? You're the one that was staring at me while I slept. Whether you're from the Living World or from Soul Society, staring at people when they sleep is considered weird across the board, Akane."

"I wasn't staring at you! You make me sound like some Single-White-Female."

"What?" I look at her confusedly.

"Never mind, you wouldn't get the reference. But the point is that I wasn't staring. I just came to the door to find Okaa-san and then suddenly you shoot up from the bed as if you got electrocuted. And you want to tell me that _I'm _weird?"

Somehow I get the feeling that we could be here all night arguing about who was more weird between the two of us. I decide to take a different line of questioning. And she goes on standing there not saying anything, her hands folded and her face impassive. Finally, after I run out of things that I can possibly think of, I say,

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

Her response is brisk and dry. I suspect that she may be physically fine, but the wounds from the night in the park run deeper.

"Are you hungry?" I ask and she nods her head vigorously. I get up wondering where her mother is.

I lead Akane into the apology for a kitchen and she quietly sits on a stool at the rickety kitchen table. I see Akane looking around with unhidden curiosity and I find it necessary to explain the questions forming in her mind as I heat up a pot of soup for her.

"Right now you are at my grandmother's house in the 1st District of the West Rukongai of Soul Society." I say. She does not look at me but continues to stare up curiously at the ceiling as if she were looking at the Sistine Chapel. "I grew up here with my friend Momo and my grandmother."

"What happened to your parents?" She asks, focusing her attention on me.

"Soul Society is massive and when souls arrive here most times than not they do not link up with their original family members, but it does not matter anyway because most of the time their memory of the life they led when they were alive vanishes as they enter Soul Society."

"So the woman in the other room is not your biological grandmother?"

"No, but I treat as such and she treats me like family."

She stares up at the ceiling again.

"I do send her money." I say and she smirks slightly at me when I answer the question that was floating around in her head as she sat the shabby room. "I don't know what she does with it, but it's not my place to ask."

"So you don't stay here all the time? You stay in the Seretei?"

"Correct and I brought you here because you needed to rest."

"Are you expecting trouble when we enter into the Seretei?"

I turn my back to her and take the now heated soup off of the stove. I set a spoon and a small bowl in front of her and pour the soup into it. I smile inwardly because this is as far as my culinary skills in cooking goes. I hope to God that she doesn't ask for food with some more substance because then I'd be in a bind. Where is her mother? I wonder if she took a walk to get away from me. I know she was upset with me from last night. _I'd_ be upset with me.

"You should eat something light. I don't want anything so heavy on your stomach as yet." I say in an attempt to take in front and prevent her from asking for anything heavier that might involve me having to 'cook', but I find that I really mean what I said. I don't want her to get sick. I feel like a mother hen. I shake the feeling and lean against the counter to watch her eat. I want to make sure she eats all of it. Hmm. There's that concerned parent feeling again.

"You didn't answer my question." She reminds me.

"I know. Yes, I am expecting trouble when we enter into the Seretei. Your mother's been away for ten years and when she last left she was on suspicion of treason. We got married so that she'd be able to re-enter Soul Society and not be executed on the spot. Now if we enter the Seretei she'd be questioned –"

"Correction, she'd be interrogated."

I nod in agreement. I forgot that this one's a sharp one.

"Yes, she'll be interrogated; we'll all be interrogated. She's supposed to have a hearing."

She stares reflectively at the soup for a moment, but then continues shovelling the liquid into her mouth systematically and without any joy whatsoever. She might as well have been eating rain water.

"Akane, how long have you had this problem with your reiatsu?" I ask her suddenly and she looks at me slightly annoyed.

"I don't have a problem with my reiatsu. I just get angry sometimes and then it gets a bit difficult to control is all."

"Fine. How long have you had this anger management problem?"

"I don't have an anger management problem. I just need for people to stop pissing me off."

I nearly smile at that one. The kid's got jokes, but this is not a joking matter.

"Akane, let me be frank with you. Firstly, we don't get a lot of births in the Seretei. Only nobles have births, so for that alone you'll be regarded as a matter of interest. Secondly, you're the daughter of a woman who was accused of high treason and who was on the run for the last decade; you'll be considered a suspect and if not they'll want to use you in an attempt to gather information against your mother. Thirdly, do not think for a second that Soul Society does not know of the incident in the park when your reiatsu flared like that. They do not know who you are so they can't pin the reiatsu to you; kind of like having the fingerprints but they don't know to whom they belong.

"I'm not going to lie to you about this, Akane. Your reiatsu is not normal. It is dark and strange and never before has someone's reiatsu manifested itself like that. It behaves strangely. It needs to be subdued. It swallowed a Cero. What did you feel when that happened?"

She pauses and stares at the soup as if the soup were going to advise her on whether she should answer me or not. I wait for her patiently.

"Power." She answers softly.

"What were you going to do to the rogue Shinigami after he called you a demon?"

"I don't know. I wasn't really in control of myself then. But I knew that he had to die."

My face is impassive, but my mind is reeling. On one hand I understand where she's coming from. I too wanted that man to die for attempting to hurt Matsumoto and her. But on the other hand I feel as if I'm watching the corruption of a little girl. Whenever Ichimaru Gin would walk into a room I'd get that instant feeling of mistrust. That man was no good and he stunk of it, evil radiating off of him like cartoon squiggly lines. But with Akane, I don't get anything like that from her. She is Ichimaru's daughter. Is it possible for evil to be passed down genetically? Because no doubt about it her Red Dragon reiatsu is evil. Or is this a case of nature versus nurture? Can Matsumoto and I mould her into being good?

"Hmm. The point that I'm trying to make, Akane, is that you have to keep that reiatsu under control or you may end up under scrutiny from Soul Society. They'll turn you into a lab rat."

She looks up at me startled for a moment, but then sighs resignedly. She looks as if she has something to say, so I wait patiently for her to sum up the courage.

"I don't have a lot of friends. I don't like people and I want them to stay away from me. I mind my own business because I want them to stay away from me, but that only seems to single me out and they insist on talking to me. But they don't talk to me in a friendly way. No, they tease me and call me a freak. They call me Silver Demon because of my hair and looks. When I smile they ask if I'm there to kill Batman. That makes me shy away more because I don't like them and I rather they left me alone, but that just spurs them on. They keep making themselves a nuisance.

"One day when I was walking home from the store one of my regular bullies called me a silver-haired bitch and called Okaa-san a big-breasted bimbo and he pushed me to the ground. I got really angry and I took up a loose brick from the sidewalk and I bashed his head in."

This time I cannot hide my shock.

"Wh-wh-what!"

"Don't worry, he didn't die. He ducked at the right moment so I missed his temple by a few millimetres."

Well that's comforting to hear, I think sarcastically.

"I've never seen Okaa-san that angry and disappointed in me. She yelled at me for hours. She told me that I was stupid if I thought that that would get people to leave me alone. All I did, she said, was bring even more negative attention to myself. She told me that I must not act on impulse and that there are always consequences to any action. Sounds kind of funny coming from her huh? She's does almost everything on impulse."

I smile because that is true. She is impulsive and free of spirit, just like Art. I feel a sense of regret? shame? for my behaviour last night. I shouldn't have treated Matsumoto like that. It's just that I cannot deal with these feelings that I have for her. I understand Akane. I too just want to be left alone. I don't want to fall in love. Akane continues, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"But what really made me take her seriously is when I saw her later crying in the kitchen. She thought I couldn't see her, but I knew she was crying because of how disappointed she was in me. Now Okaa-san and I have our differences, but I love her and I don't want to disappoint her. I know that she risked everything for me. I don't want anything to happen to Okaa-san. So, if you'll help me, I'll try to keep a low profile and tame my reiatsu."

I consider this little girl before me. When she talks she lacks a lot of passion, she might as well have been telling me about the financial viability of Urahara's shop. Yet I know it's because she's been forced into herself because of all the teasing. I've been there, so I know what she's talking about. Right now this child is at a crossroads. There is no doubt that Ichimaru's vile presence is lingering within her, but Matsumoto and I have the opportunity to turn her onto the right path.

"I understand where you're coming from, Akane. When I was younger the other children around here stayed away from me. I'm naturally not a talkative and outgoing person, coupled with the strange colour of my eyes and my hair I tended to stand out. I got the same teasing and the same ostracism like you did. Besides my grandmother and my friend, Momo, no one really spoke to me and if they saw me walking down the road they'd cross to the other side. Everyone did that. I came to expect the behaviour. Everyone except your mother, that is. When I first met her..." I decide a bit too late that I don't feel like sharing that the first time I met Matsumoto I had my head shoved between her breasts; that might give off the wrong impression, so I change conversational course, "...she didn't judge me. As a matter of fact, she's the one that convinced me to become a Shinigami." Again I do not find it necessary to tell Akane that I awoke one night to see Matsumoto hovering over my futon; again that might give the wrong impression. "So...I get it." I end kind of lamely.

She considers me for a while, her expression blank and unchanging. After a while I break the silence and ask her,

"Do you trust me?" And she nods.

"I saw the way you fought to protect Okaa-san and me when we were in the park. I trust you. I know that you really love Okaa-san. I can see it. The way you talk about her, the way you talk to her, the way you look at her when you think no one's looking. It's obvious."

_Obvious_! What! I stand there shocked at her comment. Suddenly she gets up and comes across to stand in front of me when I'm still reeling from her words. She hugs me. Initially I do not reciprocate because I feel like I fell into a wormhole and ended up in some other man's surreal life, but then I hug her back. She's a good kid. I just know it.

I don't know how it happened but I left Soul Society a few days ago with the intention of simply bringing home Matsumoto and proving her innocence. Somehow, I ended up with a wife and a daughter, a family, that I care way too much for and would give my life to protect.

She pulls away from the hug and looks at her fingertips.

"What's the matter?" I ask her.

"Ever since I awoke, my fingertips have been feeling...strange, as if they're not my own."

"They would."

She narrows her eyes at me and opens her mouth to speak when suddenly she is interrupted by a soft tap on the door. From the reiatsu I instantly know who's at the door, but why are those two here?

I walk to the door and open it to see Kyoraku and Ukitake standing there.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Ukitake speaks up, "We are so sorry to disturb you at such an hour, but this is urgent."

I get this sudden sinking feeling in my stomach. Where is Matsumoto? I do not invite them inside. I have no time for manners.

"What is it?"

Kyoraku opens his mouth to answer when Akane comes to the door and stares at both Captains directly in their eyes before asking,

"Who are you?"

Reflexively I facepalm. I forgot just how rude and off-putting she truly can be. Both Kyoraku's and Ukitake's eyebrows shoot up in the air in surprise, but then their countenances soften into amused smiles.

"This is Captain Kyoraku Shunsui of the Eighth Division of the Gotei 13," Kyoraku gives her a nod of his hat and a smile which she does not return. "And this is Captain Ukitake Jūshirō of the Thirteenth Division of the Gotei 13."

"Good morning. Did we wake you?" Ukitake asks Akane.

"No." She answers brusquely, all the while never taking her eyes off of them.

"And who might you be, besides being young, pretty and inquisitive?" Kyoraku directs his question at Akane.

Before I get the chance to answer she replies,

"My name is Matsumoto Akane and I'm his daughter."

Ukitake and Kyoraku nearly keel over in shock. The blade of grass that Kyoraku was gnawing on falls out of his open mouth and I swear that Ukitake's hair grows even greyer. Had I not been in this situation and was more of an outsider looking in, I might have found the situation funny. As it is, I feel an intense headache coming on and I pull Akane to stand behind me. This girl is trouble on legs. It is Kyoraku who recovers first.

"Well, well, Captain Hitsugaya, I'm sure that you've broken some kind of record. You were in the Living World for six days and you've come back with a wife and a ten year old child. That's gotta be record, no Jūshirō?"

"I'd say so." Ukitake concurs as he tries his best to keep from laughing. I roll my eyes.

"What do you want? Why'd you two come all the way out here in the Rukongai to find me?" I ask and do not even try to hide the annoyance from my voice.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Ukitake speaks up, but this time sounding sober. There's that pit in my stomach again. "You know how news travels in the Seretei. We heard the rumour that you were back and that you were here in the Rukongai with your new wife, Matsumoto-san or is it, Hitsusaya-san?"

Goodness! It's only been a day! The news must be travelling with the wind.

"We are married and no, she didn't change her name, but this isn't a social call, now is it, Ukitake?"

"No, I'm afraid not. Do you know where your wife is?"

I stare at them and a sudden and intense feeling of foreboding grips me.

"No. I got up just now and she wasn't there." I answer steadily.

"We've heard from reliable sources that Matsumoto-san's been detained by Central 46."

"WHAT! Since when is Central 46 acting like the Gestapo?" I shout. "There is supposed to be a process! She's supposed to have a hearing!"

"We know," Kyoraku answers evenly. "But they're treating her as an S-Class criminal. We figured that you didn't know, so we came to inform you personally. We thought that maybe you'd want to launch an appeal."

Appeal? A rage in me builds up and I feel my reiatsu rippling the room. The whole reason that I married Matsumoto is because I wanted her to be able to return without the status of being an S-class criminal. Through her marriage to me her status is supposed to change from criminal to suspect. She's not supposed to be kidnapped in the middle of the night and treated like a terrorist! I turn on my heels and quickly head to the main room to change from my simple home-spun kimono and put on my shihakushō and Captain's haori as I slip my zanpakutō over my back.

"What's going on?" My grandmother suddenly asks in unison with Akane.

I look at Akane. If I let her know that her mother is quite possibly being tortured right now, she'll lose it. I don't want anyone to come after her too. I look at my grandmother. She can't handle someone like Akane. I cannot leave her and I cannot take her with me. Somehow, Ukitake seems to know the turmoil in my mind.

"We'll take care of Akane-chan, Tōshirō and bring her to you when this is over. I'll take her to the Thirteenth Division."

"What! Where are you going, Otou-san?"

I notice absently that this time when she called me father she did not say in her usual mocking tones.

"Don't worry. You are safe with Kyoraku and Ukitake. I'll be back soon with your mother."

I do not wait to hear her objections, but quickly shunpo out of the house. If it's a war Soul Society wants, then it's a war they'll get.

* * *

I am blindfolded sitting on a chair with my hands tied behind my back. My feet are not bound, but they are bare. The cold concrete floor is wet and I can hear water dripping somewhere to the side. I do not know what they did my zanpakutō. My mind is racing back and forth from Akane to Captain Hitsugaya and to Gin. There is someone else in the room standing directly in front of me. I hear some papers rustling and then a heavy, male voice speaks. He clears his throat.

"'If an individual stands mute and refuses to plead guilty or not guilty for a felony of treason, then that individual would be tortured until he entered a plea.' Do you understand what I just read to you, Matsumoto Rangiku?"

"Yes."

"Then how do you plead to the crime of high treason against the Soul Society by harbouring the fugitive Ichimaru Gin and defecting to the enemy camp?"

"I am supposed to have a hearing. I am married to Captain Hitsugaya Tōshirō of the Tenth Division. I am no longer an S-Class criminal. I am merely a suspect. I demand that you release me!"

A heavy sigh follows. It sounds like a bear just yawned. Judging from the pitch and tone, I'd guess the man to be somewhere near six feet and about one hundred and fifty, a hundred and seventy pounds.

"Obviously you want to test out whether I meant what I just read for you. Fine. Those who don't hear will feel."

Surprisingly or not so surprisingly, my mind runs on an episode I shared one afternoon with Gin when we were children.

"_Gin, where are you taking me?" _

"_You promised to follow me, Ran-chan. And no peeking! Don't take off that blindfold." _

"_But I'm stumbling over the roots of the trees! It's literally the blind leading the blind!"_

"_The blind leading the blind? My vision's not impaired, only yours." _

"_Yeah, that's another thing. How can you see with your eyes closed like that all the time?" _

"_Ah, Ran-chan, there is more than one way to see." _

"_What the hell are you talking about?" _

"_You have to feel what you cannot touch. Feel the stimuli around ya, Ran-chan."_

I focus my attention on my other senses trying to feel without seeing or touching the stimuli coming to me. My interrogator's footsteps echo on the drafty walls and the slight splash of his footsteps in the puddle of water resound in my head. I can hear his breathing and his heart rate. He'll probably need heart surgery in fifty years or so. He's big, but size is relative.

I jump from the chair and aim a spin kick. My foot connects hard with something and I know that I hit his head. Next time, they'll think twice about leaving my feet unbound and not tying my hands behind the chair and not just behind my back.

"Foohck!" He screams something muffled. I step a bit to the side and kick the chair at him and I hear it shatter against his body. I jump and swing my arms under my legs so that now my cuffed arms are in front of me; much better. But I wasted time in that second. As soon as I raise my hands and remove the blindfold, the first thing I see is a wicked left hook coming straight to my face. I have no time to dodge and I feel my lip spilt against my teeth. The punch sends me flying to the back wall and I hit my head hard against it. Try as I might to stay conscious, I crumble to the wall and the last things I hear before I pass out are his heavy footsteps and him muttering, "Stupid bitch."

I awake some time later, feeling like, well feeling like I just slammed against a concrete wall. I felt like a freight train was running through my head. I'm in another dark room, but this time I'm lying on my back on some sort of table with my hands and feet tied, but I'm slightly titled so that I can feel blood rushing to my head, and again, I am blindfolded.

"Matsumoto Rangiku, how do you plead?" A disembodied male voice asks me.

"I have my rights. I'm not supposed to be treated this way." I answer weakly. My tongue feels heavy and metallic because I can still taste the blood from my cut lip.

"You were in collusion with Ichimaru for the last decade. You denounced your status as a Shinigami. What rights do you have? Again, I ask, how do you plead to your crimes?"

"I am married to Hitsugaya Tō –"

I don't get to finish that sentence because suddenly my entire body stiffens when ice cold water is poured over me. The water drips down into my nose and mouth. I violently struggle to get up as the water goes into my throat and lungs. I am coughing and thrashing around so violently that someone tries to hold me down. I feel like I'm about to drown! I'm gasping for breaths and beating up against the table like a fish out of water. In the melee I hear before I feel the snap and pain of my left wrist cracking from all the resistance I'm putting up.

"Enough." Someone says, probably the same voice as before.

"How do you plead Matsumoto Rangiku?"

I can barely speak. The pain in my wrist is stabbing at me. My head feels like it's going to explode and I'm still coughing. My lungs feel like they're on fire.

"Again."

I scream but that was a bad idea and water rushes down my throat and nose. I can barely think. All I feel is agony.

"I'm going to ask you again, how do you plead?"

I say nothing. I do nothing. Let them think that I'm dead. But my body betrays me and I cough up some water.

"Fine then. Ag–"

But suddenly the person's command is cut short when a door opens and I hear the footsteps of someone else enter the room. I hear faint whispering followed by an angry and shocked outburst.

"Captain Hitsugaya is here!"

"Yes sir. And he's coming straight for us, sir. He's incapacitated all of the guards."

"All of them? Members of the Omnisukido were there!"

"He looks livid, sir. The entire sky is black because of his rage. There is no stopping him sir. He's coming for her and he's coming for us."

My body is shivering against the chill. I don't know if it's because of the ice water they poured over me or if it's because of Captain's reiatsu.

"We have to get out of here!" Someone says and I hear hurried footsteps.

"What about the detainee?"

"Leave her. It's she that he wants. We'll come back to the situation later. Right now we have to get out here or Hitsugaya _will_ kill us."

I'm feeling my consciousness slipping. I hear screams in the background of my mind and I feel colder. I hear only dimly my name, but my eyelids feel like iron and I do not have the strength to lift them. When I try to though, I catch only a brief glimpse of Captain Hitsugaya's face.

For the next few hours? days? I drift in and out. I see Akane and Captain Hitsugaya's face swimming before me. Sometimes I see Gin's face, so I know that I'm hallucinating. I hear echoes of conversation. "She'll be alright, Akane." "She's coming along, Yumichika." "They won't press charges against me because they know what they did to her was wrong."

I fully awake some time later in a large bed with soft white sheets and feel a sense of déjà vu. I know this scent. It's Captain Hitsugaya's scent. I'm in his room again. But I cannot smile or feel relaxed. Instead my heart races when I open my eyes, half expecting to get water rushing down my nose and I close my eyes and hold my breath instinctively.

"Breathe Okaa-san, breathe."

I open my eyes again to see Akane standing next to the bed, looking frightened and anxious.

"Akane." I say as I turn on my side to face her.

"Yes, Okaa-san?"

I cannot find the words to say how happy I am to see her, but she seems to know and she smiles. She looks just like him then. The joy reminds me of the time that Gin would return to me. She climbs into bed with me and I hug her as she nestles her head against my chest and I take in her scent. It's then that I notice Captain Hitsugaya standing to wall looking at the whole scene with pain in his eyes. We hold each other's stare for what seems like forever when suddenly he moves and comes to sit on the bed near my feet. I do not move my head to look down to him because I don't want to upset Akane's position. And then he does the most surprising thing. He slips his hand into mine. I cannot see his face to read his expression and I'm glad that he cannot see mine, which is one of shock, happiness, sadness and gratitude.

"Go back to sleep, Rangiku. You need the rest. You'll have a proper hearing in a few weeks."He says in his usual logical, matter-of-fact way.

I shudder a bit at the thought and he squeezes my hand again and I relax into his touch. I don't think about what happened or what is to come. I only focus on the loves of my life surrounding me.

* * *

**A/N**: Review please! Even those who have me on alert, review please.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: Hey guys, long chapter up ahead. Hope you like it.

* * *

The atmosphere is cold, frigid and barren and I like it that way. I always liked the fact that Hyōrinmaru's world is inhospitable, unfriendly, hostile and isolated. It is inaccessible to everyone but me. I have complete privacy and control. I enter my Inner World and I feel safe because no one can reach me here. At least that's what I thought because there have been...disruptions. Hyōrinmaru's world seems...brighter; the landscape altered. The entire frozen desert is covered in diamond dust that form brilliant halos around the ice dragon making him look more ferocious, but also more majestic, magnificent and mythical. Earthquakes have shattered the blue ice surface creating huge and spectacular frozen cerulean waves all around us. It is stunningly beautiful and breathtaking, yet somehow simultaneously cruel and terrifying.

"Hyōrinmaru, what is going on? Why is everything so...different?"

Hyōrinmaru's scaly iridescently blue reptilian body reflects the light from the ice crystals floating in the diamond dust and creates dazzling dancing displays of light rays of blue, red, green and purple as he slithers up to me and encircles his body around me. He does not open his mouth, but his deep basso voice echoes and booms whenever I hear him speak.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Tōshirō. I thought that this place was protected, but you've let someone in."

"Who? Who has been here?" I demand and he laughs; a deep, throaty and mocking laugh that sounds almost like thunder cracking. I stare up at him in confusion and he slithers away to perch atop one of the spectacular ice waves that stand some near twenty feet high.

"Earthquakes did not create these frozen waves," he says, "Vibrations caused it."

"What vibrations? I do not like riddles and rhymes! Tell me what has caused these changes!"

"I'm surprised that you do not hear it. The noise makes such an almighty sound that it ruptures and cracks the surface of my world making these wonderful creations."

"What noise?"

"The drumming sound from inside your heart whenever she's around."

My eyes open wide and I am instantly wrenched back to reality with Hyōrinmaru's words still ringing in my ears. I need not ask who 'she' is. I already know that he is referring to Matsumoto. She has invaded my mind, my blood, my being, my heart. Every time I think about letting myself fall...a terrifying fear grips me. I don't want to fall in love.

I am sitting cross-legged in the back garden atop one of the boulders that half-way encircle the small koi pond. It is early morning and a stillness is in Seretei. Not even the wind dares to move. The Hackberries, the Judas trees, the Fullmoon Maples and the blue beeches that surround the edges of the garden behind my room have all shed their leaves for autumn season, but the leaves are so still, it's as if they hover above the ground, afraid to disturb the delicate order of things.

A lot of people do not like autumn. It is a time when people turn inwardly to themselves both physically and mentally. This is especially true of Matsumoto, though her depression is not because of the change in season, but rather, it is due to her recent experience with Central 46. Three days have passed since the incident. She spent the last three days sleeping and when she got up, she slept some more. Unohana has informed me that Matsumoto is suffering from hypersomnia which is a symptom of her depression. This morning I open the shogi doors wide so that light can settle in on her and also so that I can keep an eye on her from my position in the garden, but when she awoke, she only seemed disoriented and groggy. I don't think that she knows where she is or what is going on. I have been sitting here for over an hour in meditation and she has still not risen from the bed; only lying there like a zombie looking dead behind the eyes and with a look of frozen ennui etched onto her face. Every night when I climb into bed to lie next to her I take her hand in mine, but I might as well have not because she is oblivious to me. She'll lie there staring up blankly at the ceiling and then after a while, she'd turn her back to me and pull away her hand from mine. And no matter how many times that I whisper to her when she is sleeping that I am infinitely sorry, the feeling of guilt and uselessness never leave me. It's like the situation with Momo all over again, but worse because this time my emotions are in even more turmoil than before. I too don't like autumn. I cannot handle the shifting and the awkward transitions autumn brings with it.

Suddenly Akane bursts into the room with the quiet subtlety of a rhinoceros. I don't think that she knows that I am sitting here in the back garden and can see everything that happens in the bedroom very clearly.

"Okaa-san! This is getting ridiculous! This is not like you. You need to get up and start annoying people like you usually do! Get up. You are no victim!" Akane screams at her mother. Matsumoto does not even stir. For a brief moment a panic rips through me like a current as I wonder if she died.

"OKAA-SAN!" Akane screams. I had no idea that the child was capable of producing such decibels. But it is effective for Matsumoto stirs. She lifts her hand as if to swat away Akane, but reaches only halfway when her arm falls limply back to the bed; her muscles leaden with languor.

"You know, if I were acting like you, you would be all up in my face telling me that I'm 'such a whiner'." Akane says as she bends to speak inches away from her mother's face.

Matsumoto turns on her side away from Akane. Akane stands there for a while, looking lost as to what to do. She casts a glance around the room searching for...I really have no idea. She suddenly turns on her heels and heads out of the room. My eyebrows furrow in confusion and concern. Akane is trouble embodied. I don't know what she's up to, but I know that I have a bad feeling about this. And sure enough Akane proves it when she returns to the bedroom with a glass of water and pours it all over her mother. Matsumoto clumsily jumps up from the bed in fright. She looks like a fish out of water beating up like that. She knocks over the bedside table, falls over and crawls backwards away from her daughter, scampering away like a terrified crab. I nearly fall off the rock in my scramble get there in time to stop her from hurting herself with her wild, irrational movements.

"That was for your own good Okaa-san." Akane says with a sagely nod of her head, her high ponytail bobbing up and down.

"Akane!" I scream at her.

She jumps a bit at my sudden presence at the door.

"Goodness! Where did you come from? Do you always make it a habit to scare the daylights out of people?"

I ignore her question.

"Are you insane! Are you trying to give your mother a heart attack!"

"This isn't like her!" she protests, "Okaa-san's lying there like a depressed log. That's not the mother that I know. She needs to face her fears head on and stop acting like a victim."

"She had a traumatic experience. It's to be expected. And you probably just gave her PTSD flashbacks!"

"Stop being so dramatic, Otou-san; she wasn't in Vietnam." She rolls her eyes at me.

I throw my hands up in frustration. This child is so rude and disrespectful!

"Listen to me –" I start off saying, but my words are cut short when both Akane and I notice that Matsumoto has politely excused herself to go to the bathroom. We watch her in slight curiosity and amazement until she closes the door behind her. Akane turns to look at me with a smug expression on her face. This child is too rude.

"Akane," I start off evenly, "go and wait for me in the training grounds. I'll be with you in a moment."

She regards me for a moment wondering whether to obey or not, but my face is hard and my voice is steely. She abruptly turns on her heels and walks off, stomping loudly, trying to convey disobedience without actually disobeying. I sigh and try to shake the annoyance out of me as I make quick strides to the bathroom. Gently, I knock on the door.

"Are you alright, Matsumoto?" I ask from outside the door.

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

I lean my head on the door, wishing that I could tell her that everything will be alright, wishing that I could touch her and she wouldn't pull away, but then I remember Hyōrinmaru's words and I physically pull away from the door as I pull away from the thought.

"Open the door, Tōshirō." She says from behind the door. I hesitate with my hand on the door handle. The way that she says my name always stirs something within me. She says it with a low passion that gives me a knot of pleasure in my lower stomach and groin. I've been crossing so many boundaries with her, what's one more, right?

I open the door to the bathroom and Matsumoto is already sitting in the bath, her massive breasts just barely covered by the steamy water. I pick a spot on the wall and focus on it while I ignore the loud drumming noise in my head that Hyōrinmaru was referring to.

"Thank you." She says softly.

"For what?" I ask as I notice the intricate patterns of the wood panelling behind the tub.

"For everything. Thank you for rescuing me, for taking care of Akane, for everything, silly."

My head snaps back to her face. Did she just call me 'silly'? She has this big, bright smile plastered onto her face, but her eyes...her eyes are dull and sad.

"What's the matter, Matsumoto?"

"What?" She asks in confusion with furrowed brows to match. "What are you talking about? I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. Just now you looked terrified when Akane poured that water over you, now you want to tell me that you're suddenly better enough to soak in the bath?" She cringes slightly when I mention that she's soaking in the bath, but recovers quickly.

"I'm fine, Captain. Akane and the water? It was just what I needed." And she shrugs lightly and sinks deeper into the bath and closes her eyes. I hate it when she does that – pretend, that is.

"Why do you always do this to me?" I ask her quietly. "Why do you always shut me out from what's really on your mind?"

She does not open her eyes, but responds with her tone still light.

"What are you talking about, Captain? Maybe Akane was right. Maybe you're being a tad bit dramatic."

"You think I'm being dramatic? Well maybe I am, Matsumoto." I answer her, but bitterness is coming out in my tone. "It's quite possible that I read too much into situations because to me it appears that you always shut me out of your life when it comes to the things that really matter. You never told me that you were in a relationship with Ichimaru. I had to find that out after you passed out from your first interrogation with Central 46. You didn't tell me that you have a daughter. Well to be fair, you didn't tell me that you were planning on leaving."

"It wasn't a planned thing, really."

"That's not the point and you know it. I know that what happened to you was traumatic. All I'm saying is that you don't have to pretend with me. You don't have to fake it."

"Are you saying that I should tell you what's really on my mind?" She asks, but the playful tone she had before has disappeared.

"Yes."

"Well you should take a feather out of your own cap, Captain."

She turns to fixate her icy blue eyes on me. She sounds slightly annoyed and it's the first time that she's shown so much emotion in the days since she was tortured. It's the first time since she's shown such an emotion to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why are you doing all of this for me? Why do you look at me the way you do? You don't look at me the way other men do. Do you know that you look at me with something deeper? Why do you care so much? Why did you rage against Soul Society for me? How do feel about me, Tōshirō?"

There it is; a direct question that I cannot ignore. My throat feels dry and the temperature plunges drastically to a chilly 0o Celsius. She shudders and looks at me reproachfully.

"Sorry." I mumble as I consciously try to control my emotions and reiatsu.

"You want to know how I feel, Captain? I feel useless that I wasn't able to do anything to defend myself."

"That wasn't your fault." I remind her and she ignores me, continuing as if I had never spoken.

"Sometimes when I awake from sleep I feel as if water is leaking into my lungs and I gasp for air, but then I remember that I'm simply having a physical reaction to what happened. But that shouldn't matter. Akane is right. I am not a victim and I shouldn't be moping around like I'm Kira or somebody. I am a Shinigami and I'm stronger than that. I feel happy that I have someone like her. I know that she is rude and disrespectful, but she's a good girl. She's my little girl. She's _our_ little girl. I was afraid, but Akane made me realize that I really shouldn't be afraid, so I'm going to take the chance and tell you the truth. I want more from you, for us."

She looks at me pointedly and the temperature drops again, but this time I'm a little more alert, so I rein it in before it gets too out of hand.

"You're a hypocrite, Tōshirō." She suddenly says causing me to look at her with confusion.

"What?"

"I said that you're a hypocrite. You tell me to stop hiding from you what I'm feeling, yet you don't want to take your own advice."

"What are you talking about, Matsumoto?" Annoyed, I turn my gaze sharply away from her. I don't want to go there with her.

"There's something between us, Tōshirō." Is all that she says and she lets it hang there, waiting for me to make my move. I don't want this. I'm not ready for this. I do not want to fall in love. I've seen how intense she is with her love for Ichimaru. She has a child for him. She does not know that once she called his name during her sleep and pulled away from me. I don't want to be with her if her heart isn't completely mine. I clear my throat and turn towards the door. With my back to her I say,

"I'm glad that you are feeling better, Matsumoto. You'll need all your strength for the hearing in a few weeks time. I'll be in the training grounds with Akane if you need me."

And with that I walk out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I briefly stop when I hear a cry of frustration and the dull thud of something slamming against the other side of the bathroom door as she threw probably...the soap or something or the other at it. But her rage does not stop me for long. I continue to make my way towards the training grounds determined to distance myself from the emotional tumult that is my relationship with Matsumoto.

* * *

"Got swallowed up in a wormhole, Otou-san?" Akane asks as I look down at her from the edge of the crater on the training grounds that I caused when I was training with my bankai a few weeks ago. She is standing in the middle of it looking up at me blankly, but her voice is ringing with dry sarcasm.

I decide not to respond to her question. I have let both Akane and Matsumoto run amok with my emotions lately. Akane tries my patience in one minute, and then she has my pity and understanding in the next. Matsumoto also annoys the living daylights out of me, but then she too has me feeling things...Never mind what I am feeling towards them. I must pull back. I feel like I am slowly losing myself, becoming too attached.

"Akane, you won't be able to enter into the Academy to start your training until next year, January."

"Did you ask me if I want to be a Shinigami?" she asks, again her face is impassive, but her tone is irritable.

"You have spiritual pressure. Not all souls possess that. Those that do are few and far between. Possessing spiritual pressure is a sign of your call to duty as a Shinigami. It is a sign that you are called to protect those that cannot protect themselves."

She says nothing for a while, no doubt she is ruminating over her experiences when she was bullied and teased as a helpless victim. I can see that she's still not convinced, but she looks more open to the idea when she looks up at me and gives me a slight nod to indicate that I should continue. I make my way down the crater to meet her.

"There are lots of things I have to teach you, such as controlling your spiritual pressure. Did Ururu teach you swordsmanship?"

"No."

I look at her. I know that she is lazy just like her mother and would do anything to get out of anything remotely resembling work. She could be lying. I unsheathe my zanpakutō and hand it to her.

"What?" She asks in confusion.

"Hold it."

She tentatively takes it and the sword drops to the ground since she underestimates its weight. She clumsily lifts it up with both hands. I quickly foresee a situation where one of us will end up in the Fourth Division for some accidental zanpakutō-related injury caused by clumsiness on her part and poor judgement on mine.

"Give it back to me." I say and mentally cringe when she hands the sword back to me, blade first. I take the zanpakutō away from her, making a point of taking it from the _hilt._ So that answers question one: Akane possesses no swordsmanship skills.

"What did Ururu teach you about hand to hand combat?" I ask her.

"Nothing."

I look at her and she looks at me wearily.

"You're going to fight me, aren't you?" She asks me tiredly.

"I know that you're just as lazy as you're mother, so pardon me if I don't believe you."

"I'm not lazy. I just rest before I get tired."

I almost smile at that one. The kid's got jokes. I aim a punch at her left shoulder and it connects with her hard. She topples over to the ground rubbing her shoulder and looking at me with a look that had it been able to kill I would have keeled over right then, dead from the look of pure hatred alone.

"Why didn't you dodge?" I scream at her.

"I wasn't feeling like moving out of the way and besides, I figured you weren't actually going to hit me that hard!" She screams back at me. I stare at her in utter disbelief.

My lord! I have the laziest, most talentless daughter in the world!

"You know, this can be considered child abuse." She mutters as she narrows her eyes at me. I roll my eyes at her response and offer a hand to her to pull her up from the ground. She takes my hand and as I am pulling her up, suddenly with her still hurting left shoulder she silently creates a tall rectangular energy barrier that blocks just in time a burst of red light that smashes against the screen. The rectangular block of energy rejects the Kidō spell and simultaneously emits a blast of concentrated and deadly purple coloured light. I look up in confusion to see who this Kidō is aimed at and I see Momo standing atop the edge of the crater. Her hands are stretched forward, palms facing us in a counteractive stance and a small red glowing ball getting larger by the nanosecond developing from the palm of her hands.

"Akane, stop!" I command and the strangest thing happens. The blast of purple light stops directly in front of Momo's burgeoning kidō spell. The light simply freezes in mid-strike. But Momo's spell, what I thought was a Shakkahō spell was actually something that I cannot identify, surprises me even more. The red beam of light morphs into a net and ensnares the jet of purple light, trapping it in mid-air. I look at Akane and she looks bored. She reminds me of that time I fought with Ichimaru and an uneasiness fills me. "Drop the kidō, Akane." I tell her and the rectangular wall of energy disappears along with the deadly purple light. I look at Momo and her hands drop to her side in innocence. She races down the crater to come meet us.

"Shiro-chan! I heard that you were back from the Living World." She says to me excitedly as if she didn't just shoot a ball of condensed reiatsu at Akane and me.

"Who are you and why did you just fire Kidō at us?" Akane demands. Her voice is not angry, but rather cold.

"This is Lieutenant Momo Hinamori of the Fifth Division of the Gotei 13. This is Akane." I say as my introduction.

"Your daughter?" Momo asks.

"Yes."

"Why did you fire at us?" Akane again asks.

"I was watching your training. You have no skill in swordsmanship or taijustsu, so I was simply testing out what your true skills were. Don't worry, Akane-chan. I wouldn't have harmed you." Momo says with a smile, which Akane does not return. "You have great knowledge and control of Kidō, Akane-chan, but you still have a long way to go."

Akane stares at her. I give her a look and she begrudgingly mutters a thank you so low that I'm sure only the neckline of her kimono hears it.

"Why didn't you tell me that you could use Kidō?" I question her.

"You never asked." She answers simply and I feel like slapping myself for not seeing that answer coming. I open my mouth to tell her about her rudeness, but Momo cuts me off.

"Shiro-chan, may I talk to you for a moment in private?"

Akane turns on her heels and heads off in the opposite direction, eager for an excuse to get away from the potential hard work of training and from further questions, leaving Momo and I to stand alone in the middle of the crater.

"How is Matsumoto-san? I heard what happened to her, though of course Central 46 is denying everything."

"She's fine." I say as I try not to remember the conversation I had with Matsumoto in the bathroom. The memory has left me on edge and I ask Momo a bit testily, "Is there something that you wanted?"

She looks momentarily surprised by my tone, but quickly brushes it off.

"I just came to tell you that Matsumoto-san's hearing has been moved up a week, so now the hearing is two weeks from now."

I look at her and wonder why she didn't simply send me a Hell butterfly, but I suppose the message is just a front for whatever it is she really wants to tell me.

"Thank you for informing me."

"No problem, Shiro-chan. I also wanted to congratulate you on your marriage to Matsumoto-san."

Momo is blushing furiously, her eyes trained on the ground.

"Thank you." Again, I mutter; a sudden awkwardness coming over me.

"I had no idea that you were so...involved with Matsumoto-san. I always thought that you two didn't really get along that well. You always seemed to be impervious to her, um...assets."

"I didn't marry her because of her looks, if that's what you're wondering." I say, finding it necessary to make that point clear, though for what reason I am not sure.

"Oh, of course not! I know that you're not that shallow. It's just that I always thought that you'd marry someone whom you had more in common with, maybe someone with whom you shared a lot of memories..."

Momo lets her words linger and a sudden realization about the meaning behind her words settles on me. I suppose that on some level I always knew that she loved me, but as usual I refuse to delve into emotions like that that leave me...uncomfortable.

"Momo..." I start off, but with no clear idea of what I want to say to her, I end up saying nothing at all.

"It's okay, Shiro-chan." I look at her and see that she has tears in her eyes. "You're a good friend and you deserve happiness too. You've helped me realize how misled I was by Captain Aizen. I was following him on blind faith, refusing to believe that he could ever do anything wrong, that he was simply misunderstood. I was willing to believe that he, like everyone else, had some goodness within him even when everything pointed to the contrary."

I get the feeling that Momo is referring to more than just her situation with Aizen.

"I'm glad to hear that you've moved on from that." I reply, "But if there is something that you want to say to me, you should come right out and say it. You know that I do not like games, Momo."

She gives me a wry smile, her eyes wet with tears that are threatening to overspill. She takes a deep breath and say,

"I know that your marriage to Matsumoto-san is a sham."

She stares at me, searching for the truth in my eyes. I do not say anything. I do nothing.

"Matsumoto-san is my friend too, but the evidence suggests that she is guilty. Also, it's quite obvious that Akane-chan is Captain Ichimaru's daughter. Everyone knows. Something is...different about her. I can't put my finger on it, but I get the same sense of uneasiness that I used to get whenever I was in the presence of Captain Ichimaru. I don't know what it is, but I'll figure it out. I don't want you to get hurt, Shiro-chan. I care about you. I care very deeply about you."

I don't know how to reply to this – a confession of love mixed with a threat to expose my lies – and I know that she means her words. An awkward silence lumbers in between us. After a moment I see her wipe the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'll see you later, Shiro-chan." She says suddenly and walks away. I don't even have the energy to remind her to call me Captain Hitsugaya. My head is spinning. This is turning out to be the start of a very horrible day with Matsumoto upset with me, my zanpakutō laughing at my inability to control my emotions, Matsumoto's upcoming hearing, Akane's strange affinity to Kidō, Momo's confession of her true feelings toward me, her insistence that she will expose me – everything is too much. I need to get away from all of these troubles. I decide to walk over to the head office to complete some paperwork. I am sure that Matsumoto and Akane will not be there.

* * *

I manage to avoid Matsumoto, Akane and Momo for the rest of the day, but I can only get so far because at the end of the day I am sharing my bed with Matsumoto. When I reach home sometime near ten o'clock I see Matsumoto and Akane sitting in the living room playing a card game. They are kneeling on the floor with cards scattered between them. To me it looks like madness, but I sure that there is some method to it as their hands move quickly slapping down cards and picking them up with just as much speed. I don't bother to ask what they are doing.

"I'm home." I say and only Akane welcomes me back home. Matsumoto pretends to be too absorbed in the game to notice my presence. I suppose that she is still upset with me.

"Ha! I win!" Matsumoto shouts suddenly while Akane juts her bottom lip out in annoyance. "I win, I win, I win. Me: winner. You: loser." And she does a little dance to further emphasize her ignorance of the term 'a graceful winner."

"You know that I let you win, right?" Akane says.

"Seriously?" Matsumoto asks as she stops in mid-dance. "You're seriously going to pull that sour grapes card? What a sore loser."

"I am not a sore loser!"

And on and on they go. I shake my head as I leave them to go take my bath. I soak in the icy cold water trying to figure out when exactly had my life taken on this new direction. Where did I go wrong? And every time I think about it I come up with the same answer: it was the moment that I chose Matsumoto as my lieutenant. Why did I choose her? Because she was the only person who looked at me and didn't see me as a white-haired freak. Oh and because Momo was already chosen. I sigh and get out of the bath, dress in a simple yukata and head out to the bedroom, ready for sleep to come take away this headache of a day. When I enter the bedroom, I see that Matsumoto is already there. It makes no sense for us to continue upset like this. If we have to prove to everyone that we are happy and in love, she being upset with me will not help the situation. I decide to make amends.

"I'm sorry." I say as I climb into bed next to her.

"Sorry for what?" She asks with a small smirk on her face, so I know that she's already forgiven me.

Damn it! She's going to make me spell it out for her too!

"I'm sorry for...everything?"

"Nice try. You have to be a little more specific than that, Captain."

"Umm, well, I am sorry for dismissing you like that. I know that you're a strong person, Matsumoto. It's not that I want you to be moping about. It's just that I know that you have a lot of things that you're dealing with and I don't want you to think that you have to hide them from me."

"That's just the way that I am, Captain. I'm similar to you in that sense. I don't like those negative emotions. Akane was right. Sitting around depressed about a situation is not me. I'm not one to play that victim. I like to be smiling and laughing and hanging out with my friends."

"You look better that way." I say unexpectedly. I feel like someone hijacked my brain. I had no intention of saying that...out loud anyway. She smiles and I blush while making a mental note to put my genius intellect to use by trying to figure out a way of altering time so that I could go back and un-say things.

"Just tell me what's on your mind, Tōshirō. You already told you how I feel."

I laugh nervously, but it comes out more like a dry cough. I hear Hyōrinmaru's voice echoing in my head about that stupid drumming sound in my heart.

"I like to see you smile." I start off slowly. "Yes, you annoy the living daylights out of me most of the time –"

"Where are you heading with this?"

"Give me a moment here."

"Sorry. Carry on." And she smiles cheekily at me, clearly enjoying every moment of my discomfort.

"I like your laugh. We do have some very interesting conversations. When you left, do you know what I'd remember most? I'd remember the times we spent working, or rather that I spent working, late at night."

"Oh I remember those times. We had some really interesting conversations then. Sometimes you'd pretend to listen to me and I'd make you end up saying the most amount of nonsense."

"Hmm, yes. I remember one time you made me say 'I bought the red paradigm shift and ate the cheese goat.' Absolute nonsense."

She throws back her head and laughs.

"Woo! Yes I remember that one. Oh my goodness, I can't believe that you fell for that one!"

"Yeah, yeah. I never got you back for that, now did I."

"You did. You married me, remember?"

"Touché."

A silence settles in between us, a comfortable silence. But I know that sooner or later I'm going to have to answer her question.

"You ready to answer my question?"

"I don't remember a question being asked."

"It was unspoken, but understood."

"I've told you a million times before that I cannot read minds."

"Fine. I'll spell it out for you. Are you ready? Are you ready to take a chance with me? What are you so afraid of?"

"I...Matsumoto...Rangiku..."

She doesn't wait for me to finish my sentence, which is good because I have no idea of what I was going to say. Instead, she leans forward.

"Rangiku wait –" I say, but she doesn't.

She kisses me gently at first; our lips brushing against each other's softly as if we were touching delicate silk. But that knot that develops in my stomach and groin is back and I feel myself lose control, I feel _her_ lose control and I want her, I want her in that way. Our lips part and furiously we seek out our tongues. I kiss her so deeply I feel my upper body rise slightly off the bed in an effort to lean more into the kiss, lean more into her. She moans against my mouth and moves to straddle me. But as she does that the necklace that she always wears slips from her cleavage and hits me hard in the chin. I instantly pull away from her.

"Ow. What the –"

"What? What's the matter?" She asks breathlessly.

She hovers above me. If I look straight ahead all I would be seeing is her breasts in my face. That's what I _should _be seeing. Instead, all I can seem to focus on is the necklace. I take it in my hand and study it.

"Who gave this to you?" I ask and look her directly in the eye. She hesitates for a moment.

"Don't do this, Tōshirō. You know who gave it to me. You know Gin gave it to me. Why's it such a big deal, now?"

"You wear this necklace and that pink scarf every single day. Even after everything that happened between you and him, you never let go of this necklace. You asked me what am I so afraid of; well this is it. This is what I'm afraid of, Rangiku. You don't belong to me. I'm only borrowing. I know that you care for me, but I don't want to have to find your love for me hidden somewhere amongst all the love that you have for him. It's all or nothing, Rangiku."

She looks shell shocked for a moment. She leans back on her side of the bed, opens her mouth as if to say something, but then changes her mind. She looks at me and shakes her head in what I take to read as either disbelief or disappointment or both before she lies back and turns on her side away from me. I turn away from her too.

* * *

**A/N**: Review please! Btw, I need to know something from you guys. Would you like to me keep the rating at T or do you want me to move it up to M for the future chapters? Let me know what you think. Lots of drama in the next chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: I decided to keep the rating at T. I don't think what I've written warrants a change to M. I'm sorry about the late update, but I've made up for it by giving you this ridiculously long chapter. I hope that you like it.

* * *

"Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to talk to you." I tell Yumichika in frustration as I watch him complete some paperwork in the Eleventh Division's Head Office sometime near five on a Thursday afternoon.

"Rangiku-san," He replies without looking up, "you talk to me because we have a natural bonding: we both tend to fall for emotionally unavailable men. That, and the fact that we're both stunningly beautiful; me more so than you of course."

I roll my eyes at him. Every time that I talk to Yumichika I feel like I'm listening to a televangelist – he makes sense, but he still manages to bug the ever-loving crap out of me.

"Uh huh." I say to let it be known that I'm dismissing his last statement for the sake of my sanity.

"Look Rangiku-san,' He says, still not bothering to look up at me and give me his oh so precious undivided attention, "I don't know how you expect me to help you. You've only told me that you're upset with Captain Hitsugaya but you've refused to tell me for what reason. How do you want me to find a solution when I don't even know the problem?"

Hmm. He has a point. But how can I explain to him that I've fallen for my husband in our sham marriage and he doesn't want to consummate our marriage because he thinks that I'm still in love with the true father of my child, who by the way is not my present husband (obviously), and because of that he's been ignoring me for the last week. Yeah, that's going to be a bit awkward to explain without the aid of a timeline for Yumichika's benefit and copious amounts of alcohol for my benefit. But nonetheless I need to talk to someone. I don't know how to deal with the awkward situation that has settled in between Captain and me.

"He's been completely ignoring me!" I elaborate in the vaguest way that I can think of.

"Why?"

"Because he's an idiot!" I say as if that would explain everything. I hope it didn't.

Yumichika lets out a loud sigh and makes quite a spectacle of rolling his eyes and looking most exasperated with my mere presence. I feel like I was talking to Tōshirō when he tries to complete his paperwork or when he tries to sleep or when he tries to train or when he tries to eat or when he tries to exist. It was a bit comforting actually. God! I miss him. I can't stand the fact that he's ignoring me.

"Rangiku-san, look at yourself in this mirror," and he pulls out an 8½ by 11 sized mirror from God alone knows where, but this is Yumichika and he always has such things within arm's length reach, "right now you have this I-have-finally-managed-to-find-someone-great-so-I-better-go-fuck-things-up look on your face."

"What!" I say as I peer deep into my image. I look at my blue eyes and I think that there just might be a hint of self-sabotage in their depths. Yumichika continues,

"You have somehow managed to suddenly marry a man that can stand you and your silliness –"

"It's not suddenly; we've been in a relationship for years." I tell him with narrowed eyes.

"So you say." And he repositions the mirror to focus it on himself; it was only a matter of time.

"You don't believe me?"

"Well it's not that, really, but since I heard that Captain Hitsugaya married you I must confess that I wondered whether Captain Hitsugaya has poor hearing or some part of his otherwise perfectly genius intellect is seriously corrupted." He says this all the while smoothening his perfectly in place hair that I have no idea how he got to be so perfect.

"Uh huh. Well Yumichika, funny that you should mention that because many times I have to say that I wondered the same about you and Ikkaku. I wondered many times whether someone paid Ikkaku to be with you or whether Ikkaku's luck ran out on him and you are his purgatory or whether Ikkaku has some weird fetish for truly annoying, vain idiots. But then I say to myself that someone's gotta do the dirty work and that just happens to be Ikkaku. Kami bless him."

We sit there staring at each other with naked hatred and silently wishing each other a sick, sad and truly painful death that involved quartering and/or a scalping.

"Anyway," He says curtly, "What I am trying to say Rangiku-san," and he draws out my name with barely veiled venom, "is that you have a great man for a husband. Captain Hitsugaya is obviously in love with you. He waited ten years and sought you out in the Living World just so that he could bring back home both his wife and his daughter. He raged against Soul Society, taking out an entire squad of Omnisukido for you. I'm sure that he's not saving you because of a sense of duty or because it's a simple mission. He is in love with you. So don't frig things up. If the two of you are having an argument, just work things out because that's what couples do. Just as he fights for you, you should fight for him. And besides, I've always known you as someone who gets her way. Don't be afraid to remind him of that." He gives me a small smile and a gentle flick of his hair to add dramatic effect to his speech, which makes me smile.

And _that's_ why I talk to Yumichika. He is right. For years I have managed to get my way with Captain Hitsugaya and by Kami I'm not going to give up now. We're married and I think that it's high time that Captain Hitsugaya learn a lesson in domestic bliss – the wife always gets her way. Besides, I'm in love with him and I' not going to give up on him I think that was one of the key reasons that I failed with Gin – I didn't try hard enough to keep him with me. I tune back in from my thoughts just in time to hear him saying,

" – and you should definitely point out to me the other paedophiles in Soul Society like yourself. I mean I have to keep an eye out for Lieutenant Yachiru-chan's sake."

"What?"

"I was only saying that I never knew you were such a pervert, but it's good that you married your child-husband and let everyone know just how much you shouldn't be around people's boy-children." He smirks at me daring me to make a comeback. When I don't because of the shock that I am in that he would go there, he takes my silence to mean that he should continue, "Hmmph. It's rude and unbeautiful to space out in a conversation, Rangiku-san. You're making me look like a fool sitting here talking to myself."

I offer him a wry smile as I get up to leave.

"Thanks for the advice Yumichika. Captain Hitsugaya may look young but even half your height and age he's more man that you'll ever be. Oh and I was listening to you, but you don't need my help to make yourself look like a fool."

He throws back his head and laughs at me good-naturedly. He's a true member of the Eleventh Division and he sees even a verbal spar as falling under the category of fighting.

"You won this round. To be continued, Rangiku-san?" He inquires with a sly smile.

"Definitely."

I arrive at the Tenth Division's Head Office sometime near six o'clock that evening. I don' expect to see Akane anywhere around because Momo has so dutifully insisted that she teach Akane Kidō since she saw the "potential" that my little girl has and now Akane has training with Momo for three hours in the afternoons. For whatever reason Captain didn't seem too pleased at the prospect, but he was always a sucker for Momo and when she bats those big, deliquescing eyes at him he soon found himself agreeing before he knew what was happening. Akane also didn't seem too pleased at having Momo as her interim tutor until she can join the Academy, but I suspect that her reasons are personal. She tells neither me nor her father as to why she doesn't like Momo very much, but goes to her lessons nonetheless with a scowl fixed firmly in place forcing Momo to make the comment that Akane is a little Shiro-chan. I don't have a problem with it, but I feel as if I should, judging by the way that Captain and Akane seem so resistant to the idea.

Anyway, I arrive at the Head office and I see Captain dutifully completing paperwork. One of these days I'd like to walk into the Head Office and see Captain doing something completely unexpected. I suppose routine is comforting because if I were to walk in here and see him, I don't know, juggling zanpakutōs or something I'd probably have a heart attack. But fortunately or unfortunately he's simply doing paperwork and continuing in his usual way since our 'incident' last week, that is, of filing my existence's importance to him somewhere between tatami mats and tea bags. I sit on the couch, draping myself all over it. He ignores me. I get up and peer over his shoulder making sure to let my breasts nudge him in his back. He ignores me. I go over to the bookcase and noisily shuffle around some books. Nothing from him. I walk back over to his desk stomping around and making sure to step extra hard on that one creaky floor board before I take up some document from his desk and feign interest in it. And you know what he does? He swats away a mosquito that landed near his arm! I have sunk impossibly further past tatami mats and tea bags and now I am even below a mosquito! The nerve of him! Suddenly he looks up at me and says,

"Matsumoto, this is getting ridiculous! You –"

"Yes Tōshirō," I cut him off as I stretch out his name like a rubber band, not adding any sort of sex to it this time, but leaving it as dry and unsexy as a...well as a rubber band! "This really is getting ridiculous! I am your wife and I know that originally you didn't marry me for love or rather at the time you didn't realize that you love me, but the point is that now you do know. And I want you to know that I love you too! I really, really do."

It's one of those moments when you say something, but only after you've said it that you realize just how much truth was in that statement. Well that's what happened with me just then. I had an accidental revelation. I know that I love Tōshirō, but knowing something and actually admitting it out loud are two different things. The admission nearly levels me and I stare at him in dopey and giddy surprise for a moment. He opens his mouth to say something and that brings me out of my semi-trance. I have to get out of system all the things that remain unsaid between us.

"I know that you think I haven't gotten over Gin and that you don't want to take the chance, but let's be honest Tōshirō, I'm taking a chance too. How do I know whether you've gotten over your feelings for Momo?"

Captain's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but he quickly composes himself.

"I'm not stupid. I know that you had or possibly have feelings for her. How do I know that you still don't love her? I don't know that, but I'm trusting that you don't. The point I'm trying to make is that Gin and Momo are inevitable parts of our lives. We have history with these people and we have to face it – we are not each other's first loves. Their presence is inescapable. I mean, I know that every time you look at Akane, you see Gin, but I'm asking you to take a chance with me. I know that you've taken several chances with me, but I'm asking you to take another because I think that this time we can really do things right.

I'm lazy, selfish, moody and impatient, but you've always accepted me for who I am and I've always done the same with you. But you are one of the few people whom I've let in; whom I've let seen the real me – all the hurt that I felt with Gin, all the insecurities that I have. I know that we can be good for each other. If you want to know then –"

But it's at this time that my voice hitches in my throat alerting me to how emotional I was becoming, of how much I was baring the true emotions of my heart to him. Words suddenly seem inadequate and useless. I rip the necklace from my neck and slam it down in front of him. He looks down at the necklace then up at me in utter shock only to see me fling the scarf at him and it cascades down his face in a soft flurry of pink silk. Dramatic? I know, but what can I say, I like to make an impression.

He lifts the necklace in his hand, fingering it as if he could deduce the honesty of my words from its links.

"Well? Aren't you going to say something?" I demand.

Now, I forgot to mention that during my entire declaration of love Captain is wearing not his usual scowl of annoyance, but rather he was doing something almost resembling a half-smile. So after his look of shock melts he returns to this somewhat creepy half-smile and says,

"Well Rangiku, I was simply going to say that you picking up documents from my desk and still not actually doing any paperwork was getting ridiculous, but this..."

To say that I feel like an ass would be an understatement. I didn't think it possible, but my entire face goes red with embarrassment and I am vaguely astounded that I'm still able to stand seeing as how my face is now busy using all of the blood in my body.

"Oh." I say rather lamely and bolt for the door in a blur of Shunpo hearing only a faint calling of my name in the background as I flee.

By the time I return I could barely fathom a reason why the ground would go ahead and do such a dangerous thing like trip me, especially since the ground knows that I went out drinking and could very easily have fallen badly and broken something. Again I stumble into the bedroom wondering whether stairs were always in the bedroom because I keep feeling like I have to lift my feet higher and higher. At any rate I see the bed and collapse on it. I don't remember too much what happened after that. I don't remember too much what happened _before_ that, but that's exactly what I was counting on.

When morning comes I open my eyes and feel the dull thud of a headache exploding behind my eyes.

"Ughh. I am never drinking again." I mumble my usual post-drinking binge resolution, but this time I mean it. The Shogi doors are closed, but a weak light is streaming in so I know that it's early morning. There is barely a noise in the Seretei save for a few annoying birds that insist on screaming in my aching head. I roll and realize that Captain is not there. Good. Because I do not want to see him, smell him, touch him or sense him in any way ever again. I wish that I could permanently erase his existence from my mind. I abruptly drag myself from the bed when an urgent and pressing need to pee suddenly dictates all of my thoughts and I head to the bathroom.

It takes me about an hour and a half in the bathroom, a good bit of time I spent making funny faces in the mirror and thus realizing that I might be a bit stale drunk, but when I finally emerge completely dressed and hair and make-up in perfect place, I feel like I can face the day again. I can face Captain. Yes, no more calling him Tōshirō anymore. I consider referring to him as the white-haired bastard and the short eejit, but I remembered that I still had a hearing to attend to, so it's in my best interest that I remain calm. Heh. Maybe _I_ can kill _him_ in his sleep and plead temporary insanity later as an answer to the plaguing annulment question.

When I step out from the bathroom I see that the bed has been made and a long package wrapped in a dark cloth is lying on the bed with another smaller package atop that. I pause and look around seeing no sign of Captain. I wonder whether the package is for me. I step closer and see that indeed my name is written across both items in his unmistakable script. I sigh. You can't buy my love Captain. Nonetheless, I open the smaller of the two packages only to reveal a necklace.

It is beautiful and I am not like Yumichika where the word is used like an ancillary verb in his vernacular; beautiful is word that I use sparingly. But this necklace is stunning. It is thin and of a simple link with a single princess cut diamond hanging delicately from it. Suddenly the shogi doors open and Captain Hitsugaya is standing there looking at me. I wonder if he planned it for at the precise moment that he opens the door light streams in and the diamond glistens with it, reflecting a million shades of shimmering flashes against his semi-silhouetted figure.

"I'm not trying to buy your love, if that's what you're thinking." He says to me evenly. I don't say anything.

"I'm sorry if I've been ignoring you for the last week, but I was having a bit of trouble figuring out the things that are happening between us."

"Hmmph. You always accuse me of not wanting to show you my true feelings, but you're just as bad as I am. You're always trying to hide behind that cold exterior, intent on shutting out people, making them hurt as much as you hurt, pushing away people to the equal distance that you are from them."

He doesn't say anything because he knows it's true. A silence passes as we both try to figure out whether we should abandon this talk now while we can, before we say something that we might regret.

"I'm sorry." He says after a while.

"You – you," I'm finding it hard to say the things that I want to say because of the tears welling up in my eyes, the constricted feeling in my throat, the burning tingling in my nose, the heavy feeling in my chest. I take a deep breath. I am Matsumoto Rangiku and I know how to control my emotions better than this. I try again. "You can't just ignore something, refuse to acknowledge it, pretend not to see it or re-focus your thoughts on something else and that means that it would simply disappear. It doesn't work that way. There are causes and effects. You've hurt me."

He at least has the decency to look ashamed.

"I'm sorry." He says again.

"Is that all you can say?" I say briefly flashing with anger.

He looks away for a moment as if mentally psyching up himself to say whatever it is he wants to say.

"Rangiku, it's not easy for me to admit that I love someone, especially someone like you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask already plotting out how I would kill him and dispose of his body, depending on his answer. He just barely suppresses a smirk before he answers,

"You are not someone that people would expect me to fall for. You are gorgeous. You are every man's desire." I don't feel the need to correct him by saying that I am every _straight_ man's desire because Ikkaku's desire is Yumichika and Yumichika's desire is himself and possibly Ikkaku. "You're right when you said that you are lazy, unpredictable, moody, impatient and indulgent. Everyone expects me to fall for someone who is quiet and shy, composed and hard-working –"

"Everyone expects you to fall for Momo." I conclude out loud.

"Yes and I won't lie to you and tell you that I didn't have feelings for her. You are right again when you said that we are not each other's first loves. Momo and Ichimaru are inescapable in our lives."

I feel a vague sense of jealousy. The emotion is a bit foreign to me in this sense. I never had to compete with other women for Gin's affection. I was always number one. But it's a different emotion to know that you're neither the first nor the only.

"But I think that we can make things work."He continues and steps closer toward me. "All of those times that we spent late at night in the Head Office doing work, or rather while I did work and you watched me, I got through all of that because of you. I love to hear you laugh. You've brought laughter into my life when for a long time I've tried my best to stifle it, maybe because I'm usually the one that everyone is laughing at. But you reminded me that there is joy in life. You've infiltrated my mind and my heart like a thief in the night after I tried so hard not to let that happen. It's not easy opening up like this. This is not me, Rangiku. I don't like being so vulnerable."

"I know. I definitely understand."

"Because you are the same."

I smile to know that he gets me. He takes my hand in his staring at the necklace in my open palm.

"I'm willing to try, Rangiku." He says, leaving his unasked question in the air.

"I'm willing to try also."

He smiles one of those rare genuine smiles and I think that if he had done that as soon as he had opened the door he wouldn't have had to go through all that speech-making. He would have had me at the smile.

"Good. We can start anew and make our own memories then." He says as he closes my hand against the necklace in my hand. I feel almost dizzy at the prospect of knowing that my future is going to be filled with happiness and it starts right at this moment and I collapse onto the bed behind me. I want to kiss him and touch him and be with him in that way as my mind fills with thoughts that make me blush. He leans in and kisses me softly; gentle enough that the kiss feels like a suddenly cool breeze that caresses the back of your neck on a hot day. And you know how on that hot day the cool wind would send a shiver all over your body? Well the same happened here and my body shivers all over with an intense blush when he drags his kisses across my jaw and down my neck. He stops for a second to look at me, silently asking for my permission to continue. I give him it by edging back further onto the bed and he follows suit by climbing over me, planting kisses on my stomach, on my arms, on my collarbone and on my neck along the way.

Maybe it's the fact that we'd been dodging each other emotionally and quite literally for quite some time, but those soft touches and kisses soon give way to more febrile movements. The newness of him creates within me an impatience to know him better, to know how he's going to make me feel. Maybe he knows exactly how impatient I'm feeling because he takes his time in slowly untying my obi, while I damn nearly rip off his Capatain's haori and cannot seem to get off his shihakushō quick enough. He grabs my right hand that is ready to shred to pieces his upper kimono and holds my hand in his.

"Patience, patience, Rangiku." He whispers to me.

The look on my face of that of a wounded child told that she cannot have the toy that she's throwing a fit for makes him chuckle and I melt for him even more.

"Patience." He whispers again and he leans in to dip his tongue in my ear. I wasn't expecting it and my body arches, rattling my bones with desire for him. Patience? Yeah, I'm quickly losing the ability to remember what that word means let alone practice it now. I raise my body up against him smashing my lips onto his, ferociously kissing him; nibbling his lower lip when I break for air.

He smiles at my impatience and energy. God! I love his smile! Does he know how much of a small fire rages within me when he does not? I don't think so, because if he knew he'd never do it again for fear that I'd spontaneously combust. Meticulously slow, he peels clothes away from me. He pulls my kosode open, letting his hands glide over my ribs. My kimono undershirt falls to the side, but not completely, leaving only visible a long strip of bare skin down the centre of my chest. I smirk. He is teasing himself. He's also teasing me when he draws his face down my chest, but he doesn't actually touch me, only letting his hot breath tickle my skin. He slowly strips away my hakama, letting his tongue lick my ankles, my shin, my knees and linger on my legs. Meanwhile I'm feeling like I've suddenly developed Parkinson's disease – my entire body is shaking with pleas for more of him. The silk from my koshimaki fall from around my hips. It's only then that he delicately and completely removes my under kimono from my breasts with enough reverence as if he were unveiling something splendid and magnificent. Completely exposed to him, he hovers over me and holds my gaze. His gaze then lingers with content and lust here and there at my waist, at my breasts, at the space between my legs, at my thighs. This was worse than what Central 46 did to me. This type of sexual torture was driving me over an edge!

But it seems that I am not the only one that is finding it difficult to maintain composure. Tōshirō buries his head in my hair, breathing in my scent, his breathing hard and harsh. He drags his lips down the centre of my breasts, licking at my navel, setting smalls nibbles and leaving his mark at my hip bone and on my thighs. His hands dig into my thighs as he tries his best to restrain the emotions within him. The room dips cold, but the heat coming from our bodies are too intense for it to affect me. He kisses my inner thigh and I arch my back, begging him to go further. I never knew that he was this sadistic, because all of this teasing is driving me crazy with want! But when he finally gives me that forbidden kiss I feel like I'm having a seizure from sheer pleasure. I'd like to describe what he did, but I wasn't thinking much of anything at that point, only feeling waves of intense pleasure washing over me.

And the intensity continues. The intensity stems not just from having him inside me, but from the fact that I'm with someone with whom I'm absolutely in love. To have him this close to me, to move rhythmically with him back and forth like waves crashing, to have our heavy breaths in harmony with each other, to know that he loves me completely and truly is creating a passion so potent that tears spring to my eyes. I have this sudden and intense feeling of rising. I try to centre myself, but I just couldn't catch myself, so I let myself drift. The air seems to quiver around us, mimicking my body's reaction. I blink unable to see properly the outlines of the room. All I can see are his beautiful turquoise eyes and the craze of love that he has for me. Then it happens, where I can no longer see his face, but only tiny ripples of light exploding before me as my eyes roll to the back of my head. My body freezes and I cling to him deeper and closer than before, afraid that if I let go that I'll lose him. Afterwards he seems to notice for he does not immediately leave me and I can still feel his warmth inside me. He whispers gently in my ear,

"I'm not going anywhere, Rangiku. Don't be afraid. I'll never leave you."

I look at this man before me. We have just born all to each other, completely exposing ourselves in all manners possible. Things have definitely changed between us because of this unbridled act. I feel like we have the courage to truly be with each other the way we want to be. We've given each other courage, not only love.

After a while we are still lying there in each other's arms, giddy and feeling a bit surreal at what just happened. Suddenly he bends down and picks up something from the floor. It's the other wrapped package that fell to the floor during our lovemaking.

"You forgot your other gift." He says as he hands me the present.

I look up and now that I'm in a considerably better mood, I suddenly remember just how much I love receiving gifts.

"Ooh! For me? What is it?"

"I suppose you can easily find that out once you open it."

"Just as easily as if you told me." I retort, but move to peel away the delicate linen it is wrapped in.

It is a magnificent kimono of a deep, inky blue with lacquered embroidery threads in silver and gold to symbolize stars in the night sky.

"It's breathtaking." I say in awe.

"It reminded me of you. I never gave you a wedding gift, so here you have two. You want keepsakes, you can start with these."

I smile at him brightly, disbelieving that he would spend such an insane amount of money on me, for the kimono and the necklace would cost at least four to five months' of his salary.

"I'll try it on."

He nods in agreement then blushes in surprise when I remove the sheets that were around me and step out of the bed. I look back at him and he turns his head away from me instantly and I try my best to stifle my giggles. So sweet, that he still has the time to blush in front of me after he's just seen every inch of me. I leave him there and head to the bathroom taking the kimono with me, making sure to put more sway into my walk. I look back and he looks like a boiled lobster. A broad grin spreads onto my face. He's so sweet.

"Tōshirō," I say after I exit the bathroom dressed only a thin cotton robe.

"Yes Rangiku?" He says rather stiffly and I try my best to stifle my giggles again.

"This kimono is very heavy and ornate. Usually a kimono of this quality and weight requires a dresser. I'll need you to help me get into it."

"Won't you prefer me to call Akane to help you?" He asks a bit brusquely but I hear the nervousness coming through his voice.

"It's too heavy. She wouldn't be able to lift and control the material. It's heavy silk brocade."

He pauses as if weighing his options. I hear him intake and exhale a sharp breath before he turns his head to face me. He looks at me noting that I am still quite dressed in my robe.

"I'm sure that you could have managed to get _un_-dressed by yourself." He says as he beckons for me to come closer to the bed.

I walk over to him with the kimono in hand. He takes it and I feel the absence of the garment's weight. It is quite heavy. The obi alone is long enough to stretch the entire length of the room. I wasn't kidding when I said that I'd want help to get into it. I could never tie that obi by myself. But we never get that far. I stand in front of him expecting him to get up and help me drape the kimono around my body. But all Tōshirō does is give me a sly smirk and with one hand deftly loosens the tie to my bathrobe. I don't how he manages to command the wind too, but to me it seems like a subtle wind enters the room and the silk robe slides off of my shoulders and falls to the ground leaving me completely exposed in front of my husband. I look at him in slight surprise and give him a raised eyebrow.

"The kimono is getting in the way." He says simply and in one flurry of motion he takes me and throws me onto the bed. I laugh. I guess his shyness is fast disappearing.

* * *

For the next week I walk around in a sort of blissfully unaware haze of happiness. Such happiness is obscene in one person, though there is a slight, gnawing and nagging feeling at the back of my head. It feels like when you know that you're forgetting something, but just can't seem to figure out what it is. I however, know exactly what the reason is for feeling this way. It's because of Gin. As happy as I am with Tōshirō now I keep feeling like any moment now our happiness will fall apart – that he'll leave me. I know it's because of having to deal with Gin all these years of leaving suddenly and not telling where he was going or if he were coming back. I know that Tōshirō is not like that, but I suppose that I have battle scars from my past relationship. I try to think of what Yumichika said – don't be a self-saboteur, I remind myself.

But there is also another obstacle to me completely enjoying this wedded bliss. It's my hearing and it's coming up in two days. Tōshirō is working hard and trying to keep me in a constant state of agitation and doubt by using helpful phrases like, "I don't know if the jury can be trusted; they might have been bought off by Central 46" and "Central 46 is using rumours and propaganda to sway the jury." I in turn simply pretend that I am deaf to these mutterings of Conspiracy theory from him. I know that he means well, but I suppose he too has his battle scars to bear ever since his run in with Central 46 all those years ago with the incident with his zanpakutō.

Nonetheless I try to maintain my cheery disposition and be my usual self. So much so that when Akane comes home one evening from her training with Momo and announces that for the entire week she's been pounded into I cannot help but reply,

"Captain Hitsugaya has been doing the same to me too, lately."

I know that I shouldn't have said it, but the look of pure horror on her face is worth it when she finally catches on to my double entendre. She shakes her head stiffly in denial at what I just said as if willing my words to fly out of her head and into oblivion. Finally, when she resumes the ability to speak again, her face red a distinct shade of tomato, she lividly says,

"Just give me the money now so that I can go book the psychologist that would spend years psychoanalysing me in the vain hopes that I would ever get over the urge to commit matricide."

I throw back my head and laugh.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're such a pervert, Akane."

She looks scandalized by my statement. Tōshirō, who is sitting on the sofa next to her, is looking at her with a slightly amused expression on his face. He too has been considerably more willing to let his happiness with me shine through and in turn he does not seem as annoyed with us as he would in the past. A week ago he would have had an aneurysm over the scene, but today he seems to enjoy the typical family banter between Akane and I.

"Mind your temper, Akane." He tells her gently and she looks at him as if he just cursed her in three different languages.

"I am minding my anger," She snarls at him. "If I weren't I would have strangled you long time ago for sending me to have Kidō lessons with that woman." She quickly calms and shakes her head disapprovingly. "You two are so annoying, you'll annoy the jury at your hearing and they'll send you to be executed." She says looking at me, "I might as well march myself over to the nearest orphanage."

"Ah don't worry, Akane. I'm sure that the jury will love me. They'll be smart people. They'll be Shinigami like myself." I tell her.

"Hmmph. Now both of those statements can't be true, Okaa-san. 'As smart _as _us' might be more appropriate, but still does not instil confidence within me for the outcome of your hearing."

"And that's the reason that I don't truly support abortion." I smile and look at her. "You can't truly know whether you'll want the kid until the kid is at least ten years old."

She tries to get me to drop dead with her look of hatred alone, but I only laugh because I know that she means none of it; that's just her way of saying that she's worried about us. But it's Tōshirō that surprises us the most when he lets out a dry laugh at what I said. We look over at him in surprise to see that indeed he is wearing a smile. I melt with mirth and Akane softens when she sees how happy we all are. But like a record scratching over music, our pleasant, if not dysfunctional, family moment is interrupted by a knock on the door from Momo. Our mood instantly changes. Akane looks scared that Momo might be there to give her more work to do. Tōshirō looks agitated for whatever reason and I feel a slight pang of jealousy and suspicion that his feelings for her are not truly gone.

"Hey Momo. What's up?" I say cheerfully as she enters the living room. But Momo looks as if she just found that her entire family was killed in some horrid massacre. And with those huge, doe-like eyes, she's giving Kira a run for his money in the depressing department.

"What's the matter with you?" I ask her. She avoids my eyes and instead focuses on Tōshirō, which only irks me.

"I'm so sorry to have to tell you this Matsumoto-san," she starts off and I note that I would better judge how sorry she truly were if she were actually facing _me _when she spoke, "but I just came to tell you and Shirō-chan that I've been chosen to be the prosecutor for the Seretei in your hearing."

It's as if a heavy, black cloud descends in the living room, stifling all joy and blinding all trust. No one says anything for a while, each of us trapped in the awkwardness of the situation. Finally, finally Momo says that she'll take her leave now.

"I'm so sorry, Matsumoto-san and Shiro-chan. Goodnight."

But before she leaves, Akane speaks up with,

"It's Captain Hitsugaya, no Hinamori-chan?"

Momo goes all slack-jawed and wide-eyed at Akane's remark and I finally figure out why Akane does not like Momo – from her initial meeting Akane has seen Momo as a threat to her parents' happiness. She knows that Momo has feelings for Captain. Akane's remark was a threat so subtle one might have missed it. It was a threat to Momo that Akane will have no one come between Captain and me. The threat is understated, but Momo catches on.

"That's true Akane-chan. You are so very much like your father. Thank you for the reminder."

Captain and I stare at each other, then at Akane, then at Momo. Akane only gets the first meaning of Momo's words, but we decipher her truly intended meaning. Momo knows that Akane is Gin's daughter. Momo leaves, but the mood has decidedly altered. That gnawing feeling in the back of my head gets more and more difficult to ignore.

When the day for my hearing comes I feel queasy, constantly throwing up all morning in the bathroom at home. Captain rubs my back and tells me not to worry, but my mind is in turmoil. What if things don't go as planned? What if they don't believe my lie about being an agent of Aizen's, but truly working for Soul Society? What if they don't believe that Gin is dead? What if they find out that Akane is really his daughter? What if they figure out that Captain has been lying to them too? My head spins and I feel nauseous again.

"Do not worry, Rangiku. Just remember that I will never leave your side."

I try to remind myself of that like a mantra. It is to be held in the drafty chambers of Central 46 and when we enter flashbacks of a few weeks ago nearly cripple me with fear. Captain squeezes my hand to reassure me.

"Be confident, Rangiku. You have nothing to hide. I am right here." He says to me bold-facedly and I smile at his self-assurance in his ability to lie.

"You're right." And I offer him one of my million-watt grins. "Hey you think that maybe after all of this you can finally take me to that waterfall that you were telling me about? I mean, I can really do with a vacation after all the paperwork that I've been avoiding."

"What?" He looks at me sharply.

"What? It's not easy work dodging all the work you put for me, you know!"

"Matsumoto!"

I laugh out loud and enter the chambers feeling significantly more confident now that I've managed to get Captain to yell at me like that. It is comforting and reminds me that everything will be normal again. I walk into the chambers with my head held high and with Captain mumbling something or the other about I better hope that they execute me, because if they don't, he will.

The chambers have the usual forty-six members staring down at you in raised platforms behind veils whom are to act as judges, but also this time there are about twelve Shinigami sitting off to the side behind a balcony. They too have their faces veiled. There is a table and chair on the left where Momo sits and is surrounded by heaps of papers. Behind her there is a small audience. All the Captains and Lieutenants are present sitting in this audience. I am so grateful that Akane is not here to witness this. I left her in the confident care of Hisagi and Kira. There is another table and chair positioned to face the audience. I take a seat behind that table. I have no one to defend me but myself.

A loud noise like a gong is sounded and that quiets the din. An eerie silence fills the room. Momo rises and approaches my table. She looks apologetic, yet determined. I have pity on her. I would hate to have to be in such a position. Central 46 knew exactly what they were doing when they chose her for this position. They know that she is my friend. They know that this will definitely screw with my mind.

"Matsumoto Rangiku. Is that your name?" She asks, but she does not look directly at me, rather at a spot just above me.

"Yes."

That was about as much dilly-dallying as would be allowed, for Momo jumps right into it after that first question.

"Matsumoto-san, why did you go into self-exile ten years ago?"

"I had a job to do. I've been working on Aizen's front in an effort to kill either him or Ichimaru Gin."

"So you have had contact with Ichimaru within the last ten years?"

"Yes."

"Who knew of this mission? It was certainly not sanctioned by the Seretei."

"I knew of the mission and my husband, Captain Tōshirō Hitsugaya knew of the mission."

"How is it that you managed to kill Ichimaru?"

"I gained his trust and ingratiated myself with him. I killed him when he was vulnerable."

"How did you kill him?"

"With a sword through the heart."

"With your zanpakutō?"

"Yes."

"In its shikai release state?"

"Yes?" I answer a bit shakily, wondering whether this was a trick question or not.

"Is that a question?"

"I killed him with my shikai release." I try to answer more confidently.

"When?"

"I killed him a few weeks before I returned to Soul Society with my husband."

"Hmm. You killed him with the same zanpakutō that refused to manifest it's shikai release when you fought those two rogue Shinigami in the park at Karakura town a few weeks ago."

Shit.

"Yes."

"Where is the body? No body, no evidence that he is truly dead, right?"

"I could say the same. There is no evidence to suggest that he is alive."

"Why did you lie about having a miscarriage?"

"I lied –" But I am cut off with another of her questions.

"Is it because your daughter is really Ichimaru's and not Captain Hitsugaya's?"

"That' not –"

"When did you and Captain Hitsugaya enter into an intimate relationship?"

"Twelve years ago."

"The state has a witness that is willing to testify that he had sexual relations with you ten years ago in the Fourth Division. Does your husband know of this?"

My chest swells with a sudden pain in my chest. What do I say? That I was actually raped? If I tell them that I had no choice, that I had to bargain with my body in order to get what I wanted, I'd only be digging myself into a deeper hole and painting myself blacker as a liar. But as I look at Tōshirō's face in the audience guilt settles over me cold and cruel. I'm making him look like a fool with a cheating wife.

"Yes." I say a bit reluctantly with a shadow coming over my face as I try not to look at my husband.

"Who is the father of your daughter, Matsumoto Akane?"

"Captain Tōshirō Hitsugaya."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure." I answer with a bit of hostility. I know that Momo is simply doing her job, but I cannot help but feel personally attacked.

"I'm sorry, but it seems that you have a history of lying."

"What?"

"When you first applied for the position of Lieutenant, you applied to be Captain Ichimaru Gin's Lieutenant. When asked if you had any prior relationship with Ichimaru, you lied to the interviewers and said that you'd only known him since you entered the Seretei and became a Shinigami. That's not true now is it? Why did you not confess that you used to live with Ichimaru Gin in the Rukongai?"

God! I want for the ground to open up and swallow me up in one gulp. Everything from the past is coming to haunt me. Captain Hitsugaya looks at me stony-faced.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto-san, the Seretei has on file a record of your DNA, together with those of Captain Hitsugaya Tōshirō and Ichimaru Gin. The Seretei has also obtained the blood results from your daughter, Matsumoto Akane. Would you like to know the results?"

I nearly fall off my seat at this. My face turns an ashen grey. I glance over at the jury and they all have their heads buried deep in their notepads and are making furious notes.

"Matusmoto Rangiku, if you confess to your crimes of treason now, you will only receive imprisonment of fifty years. If not, the Seretei has permission to investigate both your husband Hitsugaya Tōshirō and your daughter, Matsumoto Akane. Captain Hitsugaya has worked very hard for his position. He will lose it if he is tried and found guilty. Your daughter Akane has quite the skill in Kidō. She has the opportunity to become a great Shinigami..." She lets her sentence hang, leaving me to fill in the blanks about all the horrible possible consequences that can await Akane. Suddenly the sound of a gong reverberates through the air.

"Central 46 will pause for a recess at this moment. We will reconvene at two this afternoon." Someone says. I have no idea who. My mind is mush. I see Tōshirō quickly get up and make fast strides to the door. No doubt he does not want to hear any of the gossip about his unfaithful wife. I too leave the stifling room. Momo avoids eye contact with me, but she does not have to feel ashamed in my presence. I know that she is simply doing her job.

I bolt to the bathroom. I wash my hands and face, to try to get the stink of failure and disappointment and fear off of me and when I lift my head I see in the mirror's reflection –

"Gin!"

"Hiya, Ran-Chan."

* * *

**A/N**: Guess who's back folk? Review please! I want to know what you guys think.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**Disclaime**r: I do not own Bleach

* * *

Rape doesn't have to involve violent assault. Once someone is forced or coerced against one's will to engage in any sort of sexual activity, then that constitutes rape. I know that when that Fourth Division officer took advantage of Rangiku all those years ago on the night that she went into self-exile, it was rape. She doesn't talk about it and I, following her lead, never ask her about it. But after what just happened in that hearing, I'm thinking that maybe we should have discussed it. I anticipated that it would have come up in the hearing. But what should I have told Rangiku? No one likes to admit that they were taking advantage of. If she said that she did it to protect Akane, then that would lead to even more dangerous questions, like why did she feel the need to protect Akane if the child is indeed mine and not Ichimaru's? She should have nothing to hide. The other option is lying to having an affair with that Fourth Division officer. Rangiku was faced with a difficult dilemma. It wasn't easy for me to watch my wife publicly wrestle with her demons. It wasn't easy to have to watch her forced to make a fool out of me. It wasn't easy for me to watch her publicly make a fool out of herself.

I bolt out of the Chambers of Central 46 so quickly that I won't be surprised if there are skid marks and smoke behind me. As I leave I hear the hissing din of gossip circulating amongst the Captains, Lieutenants and the few other high ranking officers present. "She cheated on poor Captain Hitsugaya." "After he rescued her from Central 46, I can't believe that she was cheating on him." "Poor Hitsugaya. He's such a fool for marrying someone like Matsumoto. She can't be tamed." My mouth itches to tell them the truth. My hand shakes against my zanpakutō to cut out their slanderous tongues. But I cannot. If Rangiku doesn't want to let them know the truth, who am I to go blasting her business to the world. She is my wife and I will respect her wishes. I quickly make my way to the aqueducts that are situated about one hundred yards directly opposite the doors to the Chambers. I'll wait for Rangiku there, away from people that tempt me to rip out their tongues.

I say that I am waiting for Rangiku so that I can comfort her over what just happened during the hearing. But the truth is that I might need more comforting than her. So far the hearing is a disaster. I should have prepped Rangiku on what questions were likely to be asked, but I, we, have been distracted by each other. For the past week, instead of focusing on the hearing and strategizing our answers, I have been distracted. I can barely keep my hands off of her. I do the usual Captain's duties like complete paperwork, train my subordinates, attend meetings, etc. But my mind is not in it. My mind is turned into itself, turned to thoughts of her, of her touch, of her scent, of her body naked in my arms, of the way that she has made me happier and better. I cannot lose her. The past week has suddenly been the best in my entire afterlife. I look over at the entrance to the Chambers, but instead only see a few Shinigamis standing around, probably discussing the sordid and sensational details of the hearing.

"Are you upset with me?"

I spin around to see Momo standing behind me. Her hands are clasped in penitence in front of her and her eyes are trained to the ground. Behind her the midday sky is setting up for a heavy afternoon downpour. The sky is a dark, gun-metal grey.

"No. I know that you're simply doing your job."

"I'm sorry." She says. She sounds like she's on the brink of tears.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Momo."

"No, no. I do. I don't like having to be so hard on Matsumoto, but..."

"I know that you're doing your job." I repeat.

"It must be hard for you." I don't respond to this, so she continues. "It must be difficult for you to have to watch this."

"It is. People are talking. You know how much I love it when people talk about me."

She makes a weak giggle that sounded more like a light snort.

"I know. You used to get so annoyed when the other kids in the Rukongai teased you about me."

"They used to say that you were my girlfriend."

"But I am your girlfriend, Shiro-chan!"

"You're a girl that's my friend, yes. But you're not my girlfriend."

"Same difference."

"One: That line makes no sense. Two: There is a difference."

"Which is? What separates me from friend and girlfriend?"

"Well, for one thing, we didn't do the things that – Oh for crying out loud you know what I mean!" My face is turning a bright shade of red, which is ridiculous. I should be all blushed out after the week I've been spending with Rangiku.

"Maybe not all the time, but you did kiss me once."

"I tripped and –"

"Landed on my lips. Yes, yes. Accidentally and over and over again." She says with a roll of her eyes and a smile.

"It wasn't – Yes, I tripped. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Wait. You're not going to bring that up in the hearing, are you?" I say and the mood instantly changes to resemble the heavy grey skies above.

"I wasn't, but that's insignificant compared to the revelations about Matsumoto-san and that guy from the Fourth Division."

"She was raped." I say evenly, but I feel this bubbling sensation all over me. I think it's indignation.

"She told you that?"

"Yes."

"Hmm."

"What does 'hmm' mean? What did he say?" I say not trying at all to hide my annoyance this time.

"I don't want to go there with you, Shiro-chan."

"You're going to call him as a witness later on, no? You might as well tell me what he said and save me the embarrassment of hearing it for the first time in the court room."

She looks hesitant, but then takes a deep breath and commits.

"He said that _she_ seduced _him_. He said that she came onto him and beguiled him. She offered him her body in exchange for him falsifying the documents to say that she miscarried."

"And you believe him?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. What matters is that when he takes the stand, the jury will have the idea planted into their heads that Matsumoto-san cannot be trusted. She already admitted to having an affair with this man."

"She was in a difficult position. It's not easy to admit that he raped her."

"He raped her? Matsumoto-san is a Lieutenant. She could have easily have defended herself."

"Rape does not have to involve violent assault, Momo. She did not want to do that with him and that counts as rape. She was in a desperate situation."

"Similarly she could have used the _threat_ of violent assault on him to intimidate him into changing the documents, no?" She sighs loudly before she continues. "Matsumoto-san's statements all seem to ride on the things that we cannot prove or disprove. She says that she killed Ichimaru, but we have no proof of whether he is dead or alive. Sometimes, Shiro-chan, we see the signs and ignore them."

I don't look her in the eye. Instead, I turn away from her and look over the arches of the aqueduct and search the courtyard for Rangiku. Where the hell is she? Momo moves forward and stands closer to me. A light and chilly wind blows and I can feel the material of her Shihakushō rustle against my skin.

"I know what it feels like, Shiro-chan. We have that and a million other things in common. I know what it feels like to believe so truly and completely in someone that you become blinded by your faith in them. I went through that with Aizen. I know that it's difficult for you to know that you married her in an effort to save her, only to find out that she may be guilty after all."

"So you think that she is definitely guilty?"

"I wish she wasn't but it looks like the jury will."

A silence passes between us. Momo is right of course. The fear that I can seriously lose Rangiku and Akane is sickening. I try to push it back, but it remains like a spectre on my mind.

"I want you to know, Shiro-chan that I will be there for you, just like how you supported me during the entire Aizen fiasco."

"You keep referring to the 'Aizen fiasco' as if it was a thing of the past. Aizen escaped from his sealed state ten years ago and lurks about at large."

"It is thing of the past for me and for the rest of Soul Society. No one is willing to tolerate treason, Shiro-chan. I don't want what happened to me to happen to you! I don't want you to get hurt the way I did! I love you too much!"

I avoid her eyes as I continue to stare resolutely at the courtyard. Ten years ago I felt exactly the same way about her.

"Why did you marry her, Shiro-chan? I thought that you loved me." She takes my hand and holds it in hers, close to her chest. She forces me to look at her. Her eyes have started to tear up again. Being this up close and personal to her is flooding my brain with memories. I used to love her. I cannot ever forget that.

"Did you ever love me?"

I don't want to go there with Momo, but she looks at me pointedly.

"I did."

"You do." She corrects me.

"Momo..."

She kisses me lightly on the lips before I have the chance to say or do anything else and for a brief moment I kiss her back and lean into her a bit more. But as I lean in and do not feel a familiar heavy, yet soft weight pressing against me, I am instantly reminded that I am not indeed, kissing my wife and I pull back away from her a bit violently.

The tears are streaming down her cheeks now. I want to leave here. I look around desperately to see if anyone saw me. My head is spinning. What will Matsumoto say when I tell her this? Because I know that I have to tell her. God! I can't believe that I did that after I begged her to take a chance with me. I want to leave here.

"That right there is proof that you still have feelings for me." She says wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

"I need to go." I say and move away from her as I start to walk briskly away from her.

"I know that she's guilty. Somehow Akane-chan is the key to all of this. I have no proof, but I know that she is." She calls after me and this stops me in my tracks. I turn around and slowly walk back to her.

"You have no proof?"

"No. I bluffed to create doubts in the jurors' minds. The paternity results came back a match that she is indeed your daughter." She reluctantly admits.

"I know that she is." And I begin to walk away from her again, the corners of my mouth tugging into a slightly devious smirk.

"Something is off, Shiro-chan. Everything about that little girl points to her being Ichimaru's daughter. I will figure it out. Something's not right with Akane-chan. Things are going to come crashing down. I want you to know that I will be there to pick up the pieces for you." She shouts after me again. I stop and turn to face her, making sure that I put some distance between us.

"I appreciate the support, Momo. You are a true friend. But my wife is not guilty." I reply. I turn on my heels quickly and make long strides away from her, not giving her a chance to respond.

I make my way to the Ninth Division with my mind in knots. Rangiku and I would stay up late at night in the office discussing every and anything in general and specific, but I forgot to tell her something very important. Maybe I didn't tell her because I felt that it wasn't necessary that she knew. I don't know. What I do know is that in retrospect I probably should have told her so that when Momo said that she had paternity results on Akane, Rangiku would not have had that look of absolute shock and fear displayed for the entire panel of jurors to see. My lapse in judgement has caused even more doubt to be cast on my wife. Never mind what the results are, the doubt is there, planted like a seed. I should have told her what I did.

When I reach the Ninth Division, Hisagi and Kira are sitting in the Head Office looking morose. As I enter, both men leap to their feet.

"Captain Hitsugaya, we've heard that the hearing is not going so well for Rangiku-san." Kira says to me.

I look at them. I need to hear what they think.

"Do you think that she is guilty?"

Hisagi and Kira both look instantly to the ground, their cheeks coloured with shame. They do not have to say anything. I know that they think she is guilty.

"Where is Akane?" I ask them.

"She um," Hisagi looks at me a bit worriedly, "She uh, she heard about how the hearing went this morning and –"

"How much did she hear exactly?" I demand, panic rising up in me. The last thing I want is for Akane to start asking questions on who is Gin Ichimaru.

"Not much sir. She only knows that so far it doesn't look good for Matsumoto-san because her answers are incongruent. I've tried my best to curb away from her the information that's coming into and from the Seretei Communications."

"Good. She doesn't need to hear things like that."

"She's heard enough, sir. She seems to be a bit...agitated by the news."

"Hmm. Have you seen Matsumoto?"

"No sir." Kira answers. "We thought that she was with you."

I don't answer them, but instead only ask for my daughter again. Hisagi leads me to a side room where there is a large red sofa, two straight-back chairs, a coffee table and a stocked bookshelf against the west wall. Hisagi closes the door behind me and I walk closer to Akane, who is lying on the couch. She doesn't seem to notice my presence even though I am making no effort to conceal my spiritual pressure. But as I reach closer to her I see that her hands are shaking, her body is shuddering and jolting, her eyes are closed tightly shut.

"Akane!"

Her eyes jerk open and she looks up at me as if she's in pain.

"Akane, what's wrong?" Panic fills me with dread as I sit on the couch and cradle her.

"Otou-san," Her voice is trembling. "I'm having trouble containing my spiritual pressure." She replies as her body makes small spasms.

Oh God! This is too much and I can only blame myself. I should not have gotten so distracted. I was supposed to find out what is wrong with Akane's spiritual pressure, but what was I doing this past week? Rangiku.

"Breathe, just breathe and concentrate." I tell her, but she doesn't listen to me.

"Where's Okaa-san? Is she alright? Are they going to execute her? What will happen to us?" She asks frantically while her body jerks and jolts. She looks like she's having a seizure! Her reiatsu is leaking out in thick spurts, dark and deadly. I cannot afford to have that happen. Not here, not today.

"Listen to me, Akane. You need to calm down. Your mother will be fine. I am here. Nothing will happen to us. Focus on suppressing your reiatsu."

I hug her closer to me and in that one moment I realized that at some point in time I stopped viewing Akane as Ichimaru's daughter and I now see her as being legitimately mine. I love her and I don't want anything to happen to her. I don't know how it happened, but somehow I managed to acquire a family that I am willing to give up my life for.

"Shh, hush, hush. Just focus." I say as I rock her close to me. Her reiatsu starts to diminish slowly. The room no longer feels stifled with a heaviness of something foul. Where the hell is Rangiku? As if on cue, she bursts through the door, her face white with fear.

"Where have you been?" I question her, but she ignores me.

"Akane!" Rangiku says as she rushes to sit on the couch, with Akane between us.

"Okaa-san!" Akane near squeals and hugs her mother. When they pull apart I look at Matsumoto. Her eyes look wild and terrified. Her breathing is erratic. She is sweating.

"What is the matter, Rangiku?"

She considers me for a moment. She looks as if she wants to say something, but doesn't know where to start. All she ends up doing is stiffly shaking her head in dismissal of my question.

"Are you alright?" Rangiku asks Akane and looks her over.

"I'm fine now. I was just...a bit worried about you, but Otou-san calmed me down." Akane says a bit stiffly. She is just like, uncomfortable with such vulnerable emotions, that is.

"He is your father. He is supposed to do that because that what a father who really loves you does. Captain Hitsugaya Tōshirō is your father and he loves you very much. Isn't that right, Tōshirō?"

Akane and I exchange looks of concern. Why does Rangiku feel the need to keep reminding Akane that I am her father? I look at Matsumoto. She looks utterly wretched and tormented. I get up.

"Rangiku, I need to speak to you in private for a moment."

She looks at Akane as if trying to figure out whether she should leave Akane alone.

"Now, Matsumoto."

She looks up at me, knowing that that was an order and somewhat reluctantly gets up. I lead her out of the room and she stops to tell Kira and Hisagi,

"Let no one enter that room unless it is me or Captain Hitsugaya."

"Are you alright Matsumoto-san?" Kira asks her with deep concern.

"Let no one enter the room, okay?"

Kira, Hisagi and I exchange looks. Kira nods to her and I lead her out to the balcony in front of the Ninth Division's Head Office.

"What is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. Where were you all this time?"

She avoids my gaze and looks across the empty courtyard.

"I was in the bathroom."

"All this time? Are you still feeling ill?"

"A bit."

"Are you worried?"

She looks at me as if I just asked her the stupidest question in the world and given this morning's hearing it's safe to say that I did.

"Sorry. Silly question. But you shouldn't be so worried. This morning was a bit..." I struggle to find the right words, "...unexpected, but I think that we can bounce back. Just think before you answer and don't get badgered my Momo. I know that you're smart. You're simply letting your nerves get in the way. And plus Akane and I still have to testify. Do not worry. Everything will be fine."

"They have the paternity results." She says in a flat tone, still looking out at the courtyard.

"Right. About that." I decide that it's time that I tell my wife everything. "Do you remember the night that Tessai sealed Akane's reiatsu, Urahara gave me a small box?"

She looks over at me and gives me her full attention.

"Uh huh."

"Well that was something I commissioned from him. I gave him my blood, plus your blood that I got from the night that I stabbed you in the arm. Blood had leaked onto the floor and onto your clothes, remember. Anyway, I gave him that and told him to come up with a way to make Akane look like my daughter. I don't know how he did it, but he gave me false skin grafts with this false DNA. It attaches to her fingertips with Kidō. She doesn't know about it, obviously."

Rangiku looks at me in amazement and awe.

"That's why she keeps complaining that her fingertips feel funny and tingly!"

"Yes. When Momo said that she had the paternity results I panicked because I had no idea from where she got her sample. But then she told me that Akane is indeed mine, so I know that she pricked Akane's fingertip. I was hoping on just that."

"That's quite a risk you took there, Captain." She says and seems to calm down considerably. "So now we have on record that you are Akane's father and no one can prove otherwise." Her mind seems to wander a bit.

"Are you alright? Are you still worried?"

"The feeling never quite goes away. I don't know what will happen."

"What will happen is that you will be exonerated. Do not worry."

She gives me a weak, but very weary smile.

"I don't know if that's how this story is going to end, Tōshirō." She mutters a bit cryptically. "Come on. Let's go hang out a bit with our daughter before the hearing resumes."

I watch her go off into the Head Office and I feel a sense of uneasiness. Rangiku is hiding something from me. I know her too well. Is Momo right? I bat away the offensive and nagging thought and follow my wife inside.

* * *

When the hearing resumes after lunch I find it difficult to portray the look of calm and confidence. My hands are shaking as I take a seat again in the hot seat and mentally prepare for Momo to resume her cross examination of me. It doesn't take long for the din to settle and the gong to sound. My eyes scan the room frantically for Gin, but he is nowhere to be seen. My mind constantly replays the incident with him in the bathroom.

"_Hiya Ran-chan." _

_I suddenly feel as if everything in my body lurches forward, even though I don't move an inch because shock has rooted me to the spot. _

"_Oh, don't ya go faintin' on me now." _

_He smiles his classic Gin-Smile. I know that it's him and that I'm not hallucinating. I can smell his familiar scent. He opens his eyes and stares at me with that broad grin that I love so much. _

"_Yep, I'm real." He says as if knowing my thoughts. "Aren't ya gonna say anythin'? Like how you've been, Gin? Long time no see." _

"_Oh fuck." I whisper. _

"_Eloquent." He smiles even broader, his eyes crinkling shut with the gesture. _

"_You're alive. Where have you been, Gin?" _

"_Aww, Ran-chan. I can't tell you. I know that you hate spoilers. You're just gonna have to wait for the rest of the show like everyone else. And trust me when I say it's gonna be a show. So far it's just been you and little Akane-chan putting on the show, but now it's my turn." _

_At the mention of Akane's name a rage burns hot within me. He knew about her all this time. He knows everything that is going on. I want to hit him. No, I want to truly stab him and twist the knife. I want to hurt him like how he's hurt me all these years. My hand reaches for my zanpakutō, but that's all that I remember doing. I wake up on the floor of the bathroom a few moments later and Gin is gone. I spend nearly an hour in the bathroom again, throwing up from anxiety. _

My mind returns to the present danger – Momo and her infuriating questions.

"Matsumoto-san, let's return to the night that you allegedly killed Ichimaru Gin."

"It's not allegedly." I lie and I see Tōshirō give me a small nod of approval. I don't where Gin is or if what happened in the bathroom is even real. But I know that for him to show up now...I'll lose everything. I'll lose my life, my husband and my daughter.

"Well there is no body, no evidence to say that you did kill Ichimaru." Momo says. And like the mind-fucker that he is, suddenly the door to the Chambers open and there is standing Gin with his hands clasped behind his back, light from outside shining around him making him look like some celestial creature of goodness. If I weren't so frightened out of my mind, I would have laughed at his ironic sense of humour.

It takes everyone a few moments for their brains to process that what is happening is indeed real. Ichimaru Gin, who is supposed to be dead according to the testimony of me, has walked into the chambers of Central 46 casually as if he were a mere onlooker.

But what gets everyone out of their stupor is when Gin, again for dramatic effect, removes his hand from behind his back and throws down the middle of the small lane and onto the central area where I am sitting and where Momo is standing in abject shock, the head of Aizen. If they ever decide not to execute me, improbable, but if not, I am going to strangle Gin with my bare hands.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, collective gasp, chaos.

"Traitor!" Someone screams and the Central 46 judges command every Shinigami to attack. The Captains and Lieutenants that are sitting in the observation stands behind Momo, leap to arrest Gin. The jury removes their veils and they too pelt helter skelter into the fray. Gin? Standing there with that shit-eating grin on his face loving up the chaos that he has caused. But it is Tōshirō who reaches to Gin first. He doesn't even bother to go to shikai, but instead releases his bankai on Gin with a rage that I haven't seen since his encounter with Aizen all those years ago. Gin does not move a muscle. I don't know if it's because he knew of what happened next was going to happen, for Akane appears in front of Gin, standing between her real father and Tōshirō. Tōshirō's assault never reaches Gin, but is instead swallowed up and disintegrated by the nasty Red Dragon that is a manifestation of my daughter's reiatsu.

Me: I seem to have slipped into a daze of some sort. Everything feels fuzzy and slow. I feel as if I am moving underwater. I feel as if I am underwater for my head feels full and pressured. This isn't happening, I tell myself. Dimly I see people hold back Tōshirō, Akane and Gin. There is absolute chaos in the Seretei. As they take Gin away, I note somewhat absently that he sure knows how to put on a show. He goes willingly with them and as my body descends into blackness I hear him say to Tōshirō,

"I've come to take back what's mine, Captain Hitsugaya-kun."

A/N: Review Please!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: Hello everyone, I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your reviews for the last chapter, I was having a bit of trouble with my ff account. So, I would like to say thank you so very much. I'm really glad to hear that you liked the last chapter. I also want to apologize for the late update. By now you should know that late update means long chapter. Here it is. I hope that you like it.

* * *

The rage in me has subsided to a vague and uncomfortable feeling of disquiet, a feeling that mimics the turmoil that my mind is in. I do not know what will happen next and it is that fear and ignorance of what is to come that has my mind feeling like that. It is late at night. I cannot tell the exact time, for they have taken away most of my possessions including my zanpakutō, my warishi and tabi and even my pocket watch. I can understand if they confiscate my zanpakutō and even my haori, but they want to take away my sandals and my pocket watch too? What in the name of Soul Society do they think I'll be able to do with those possessions! Am I going to build a bomb from straw, the second hand of my pocket watch and the cotton from my tabi! Anyway, I don't know what time it is, but from my cell window I can see that the moon is pretty high in the night sky. It must be somewhere near eleven. I can hear the guards in the outer room playing cards and gossiping, but otherwise the holding cells are quiet, which is understandable since the only two prisoners are myself and Rangiku, and neither of us is saying a word to each other.

More than seven hours have passed since Ichimaru showed up at the hearing. Every time I think about those few moments afterward I wonder whether I should have done things differently. I'm not talking about whether I should have married Rangiku or not. No, I'm talking about whether I should have attacked him. Maybe if I hadn't attacked him Akane would not have gotten involved. Why the hell did she need to get involved in the first place! Rangiku and I left her with those two idiots, Hisagi and Kira. Are you saying that two Lieutenants cannot follow the simple instruction of "Don't let Akane out of your sight"? How did she escape them? But the real question is why did she protect Ichimaru from me?

Rangiku is in the cell next to mine. I cannot see her nor can I hear her because since the both of us were taken into custody she has said nothing to me, though initially it was not because of her own will. She didn't go into custody willingly. She went literally kicking and screaming. She kicked one of the guards in his groin, the other received a jump kick to his face, she seriously damaged the kidneys of another guard when she punched him hard in his back and the fourth guard had to be taken to the Fourth Division immediately for broken ribs that had punctured his lungs. All the while she screamed that she wanted to see her daughter. They shut her up with that dangerous green substance that put her unconscious instantly. Despite the fact that I cannot see her, I know that she is awake. I heard her mumbling a bit groggily, but after that was silence. She seems to have fallen into a depressing resignation. As much I cannot stand to see her hurting like that I cannot bring myself to speak to her because I'm afraid to ask her the question that is plaguing my mind. Did she know in advance of Ichimaru's return? Is that why she looked so agitated after the hearing?

I make up my mind to talk to her. She must be lonely and terrified and confused like I am. I wish that I could see her and touch her and lie down next to her like I've been doing for the past week. It's so strange that before this whole mess, when she was simply my Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku and not my wife, she would touch me and it would have no effect other than to annoy me and remind me that she was not doing her work, but was rather devoting her time to trying to annoy me to death. Now, her touch means something much more to me. Her touch reminds me that she loves me and that I cannot bear to be without her. I make my way to the edge of the cell and stick my hands out of the bars and clasp my hands together.

"Rangiku?"

I hear her get up and soon she too makes her way to the edge of the cell and stick out her hands and clasp them in a casual fashion. The wall separating us is not that thick, but I cannot reach her; I can only see her hands.

"Yes?"

"How are you feeling?" I ask her.

"Like a pack of crap. You?"

"More or less the same. Did you eat something?"

"I can't eat. I have no appetite. I'm worried about Akane."

"I'm worried about her too. I'm worried about why she saved Ichimaru? How does she know him? Why did she save him? Does she know that he's her real father? Does he know that she's his daughter?"

"Gin won't harm Akane." She says in a flat tone.

My heart feels icy as if Hyōrinmaru stabbed me in the chest. I need to know, so I take in a deep breath and steady my nerves when I exhale. In a steady tone I ask,

"Did you know about his return?"

She pauses for a long time, long enough to raise my anxiety about what she was going to say. Finally, after a tense and thrilling wait she says,

"I saw him when I went to the bathroom. I nearly went into shock. He came up to me so naturally and said 'Hiya Ran-chan' just like how he always did. I couldn't believe that he was real...but then he said that he had to go put on a show. He said that it was his turn to star since me and Akane had been stealing the show so far. He knew about her. He knew about her all this time. I got so angry that I tried to pull my zanpakutou on him, but I never got very far. He knocked me out. When I got up he was gone. I wish I hadn't lost my anger. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to know what he was up to, but. . . he...he...left again."

I can hear the hurt in her voice and it angers me so.

"How come you're so sure that he won't hurt her? Why do you always put so much trust and faith in him? It's as if you don't get that he's a monster."

"He knew about her. He could have hurt her at any time if he wanted, but he didn't."

"He didn't hurt her because he wasn't there, remember." I spit at her with venom on my tongue.

"He told me once that everything that he was doing with Aizen was for me. He was simply trying to get revenge. He literally brought in Aizen's head. I believe what Gin said."

"You're trying to tell me that he left you for your own good? He loves you so much that he'd let you cry and struggle with Akane all by yourself for ten years? He loves you so much that he left you. Is that what you're trying to tell me?" Anger was welling up inside me and I couldn't control myself. I suppose this is what Akane must feel like when her Red Dragon reiatsu manifests.

"You have a one-track mind and you refuse to see any other side. You've made up your mind about Gin. You've stamped him as evil and you don't want to hear anything else!"

"_I_ have a one-track mind? I think you should point the finger somewhere else, Matsumoto! I'm not the one refusing to acknowledge all the crimes that Ichimaru committed! You know what, go ahead and trust him because you apparently liked when he left you for ten years with a child and the threat of execution hanging over your head!"

"I can't just write him out of my life, you know! He's the father of my child!"

Everything temporarily stops, but suddenly I enter a mode, a mode that I enter when in battle. It's a professional mode that helps me cope with the hurt and violence and savagery of killing. I become only focused on the task at hand. In battle, my heart grows cold and I focus on the prospect that I will have to kill my opponent. Here, my heart grows cold and I focus on the prospect that I want to emotionally wound my wife.

"Why not? He's written you out of _his_ life for so long! Oh and I thought that _I _was the father of your child."

A sudden silence fills the cells and it only serves to exacerbate how much our argument had gotten out of hand with all the shouting. I move back from the bars and go to sit on the cot.

"Tōshirō..."

I cannot bring myself to answer her for I fear that if I do I'll only spit more venom at her. I want to hurt her like how she hurt me with that statement just now. It felt like a rude reminder. I am not really Akane's father. But what makes a father? Is it actual DNA composition? Or is it the person that cares and takes on the responsibility of the role of father? I don't care what anyone says, Akane is my daughter in my eyes. I say that to myself, but Matsumoto's words still sting.

"Tōshiro! Don't ignore me! I didn't mean...You know that you're...I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Tōshirō..." She ends up saying softly.

"I'm tired. Go to bed, Matsumoto." I say brusquely, cutting her off with a distinct note of annoyance. She hears me call her by her last name and she knows that I am in no mood for discussions. I hear her drag her feet back to her bed.

I lie awake in the cot listening for hours to the sound of her crying. When she finally cries herself to sleep, I still lie awake, my eyes focused on the dull grey of the ceiling. Ichimaru. The man showed up for less than five minutes and managed to put Soul Society in a state of emergency, has my daughter taken away from me, has her mother and me locked up and already he is causing damage to my marriage. Ichimaru. Never before have I hated someone with this much passion. I thought I hated Aizen. I did. But now I realize that the hate I had for Aizen is nothing compared to the rage I have for Ichimaru Fucking Gin. I. Hate. That. Man. It's probably a good thing that they've confiscated my zanpakutō and locked me up. It'll get me used to the idea of imprisonment because I am sure to end up here anyway after I kill Ichimaru.

Two days pass and we're still imprisoned. My mind is turning to mush as all I am doing is worrying. I worry about Akane. Where is she? What are they doing to her? Is she alright? Why won't anyone tell me any news about her? When I tire of asking myself those questions my mind runs to Matsumoto. She says nothing during the day, but I know that she too must be driving herself insane with worrying about Akane, and of course the situation with me. Like I said, she says absolutely nothing during the day, but at night when the guards go out to the front room to play cards and whatnot, she calls my name. Over and over again she says that she's sorry. "Tōshirō, I'm so sorry. Tōshirō, please forgive me." All night she goes on and on. I can't get any bloody sleep! Sometime at minutes past four in the early hours of the morning she's there calling my name; her voice hoarse.

"Tōshirō...Tōshirō...would you at least answer me? I'm sorry. Tōshirō...I know that you're awake."

"Of course I'm awake!" I shout back at her. "How the hell do you expect me to get any sleep when you keep yelling my name like that all night?"

"That's what she said." She says and I hear her giggling. I lean back against the cot and cover the pillow over my face. Dear Kami, why me? Why?

"You know, if you only forgave me I'd let you go to sleep in peace." She says and I can almost see the look on her face. Her eyes would be slightly lidded and her lips would be poutier than ever. I can imagine her leaning in a bit so that her cleavage would be more prominent. I move the pillow from my face.

"You're making that face, aren't you?" I say and she laughs out loud. God! I miss her laugh. I wish that I can see her. I love her laugh. I love the way that she throws back her head and laughs with absolute mirth, her eyes shining, her spirit carefree.

"How'd you know I was making that face?"

"I know you too well, Rangiku."

"Ah, so I see you're calling me Rangiku now. Does this mean that you've forgiven me?"

"I forgave you two days ago."

"What! And you had me calling you're name all bloody night!"

"I like it when you say my name."

There is a brief silence on the other side of the wall and I know it's because she's a bit shocked that I, Captain Hitsugaya Tōshirō, her husband, is flirting with her. Suddenly her cell is echoing with her laugh and I lean back into the cot with a satisfied smirk on my face. That's what I wanted to hear.

"Wow! I can barely believe that my stick in the mud husband is flirting with me in jail. Oh Tōshirō, you choose the most romantic places."

"Anything for you." I reply and hear her snort out a giggle. A short silence passes between us and I sincerely wish that she was here with me, right next to me, so that I can touch her and hug her and tell her that everything will be alright even though I have no logical reason to believe so.

"How are you coping?" I ask her.

"I'm worried."

"Do not worry, she'll be fine."

"It's not really her that I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

She does not answer immediately and I wait patiently on her. After about a minute she finally speaks up.

"There's a lot about Akane that you don't know. You like her and she likes you, so you only see the side that she wants you to see. She's rude and disrespectful yes, but she's also very violent."

"I know that. She told me about the incident with the boy when she threw a brick at his head."

"That's just one incident. Akane is very protective about the people that she cares about. Maybe it's because the people that she cares about are so far and few between. She tends to push people away, but for whatever reason they gravitate towards her, but not in a good way. There's nearly always a clash when her personality comes across another's. You and Ururu. That's about only people that she likes besides me."

"What about Inoue?"

"So-so. She doesn't like Orihime much, but she knows that Orihime is a very close friend of mine so she limits her interaction with her. Whenever Orihime would come over, Akane made sure to be in another room."

"So what do you mean when you say that you're worried about her and not them?"

"Akane is very protective of the things and people that she holds dear and she's ridiculously antisocial. She obviously didn't get that from me. She doesn't like change. You saw how hostile she was to you when she first met you. She doesn't like anything to disrupt her acceptance of the order of things. She had a family that consisted of me. She had Ururu whom she could call a friend. She was a dead Soul residing in the Living World. She had no father. Those were the facts that she knew and she wanted nothing to deviate from that. But then you came into the picture. Somehow, you got her to like you."

"Why'd you have to say 'somehow'? I'm a likeable person." I say, feeling surprisingly offended.

"Of course, Captain. Too bad you missed out on that Mr. Congeniality award last year, though."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

She laughs out loud and suddenly I don't feel so annoyed anymore.

"I'm just joking with you because it's not really you; it's her. She's not a likeable person!"

"That's true to most. But I like her."

"You love her. She's our daughter." She says that and all is forgiven about our argument a couple of days ago. "Anyway, about two years ago I met a guy in the department store that I worked. I didn't want a relationship with him, but he was persistent. I think he was thinking that he could wear me down with friendship, that maybe after a while I'd get tired of running from him and then just give into him. So anyway he forced his way into my life with a friendship. Akane hated him from the start. She saw him as a threat to the status quo. And he didn't like her anymore than she did, though he never let that on to me. She generally kept her distance from him, but unknown to me, he was a bastard. He liked to provoke her. He knew that she feared that he was going to disrupt things for her, so behind my back he would tease her. He'd tell her that he was planning on marrying me and that when we married he'd send her to boarding school. This was news to me because as far as I knew we were simply friends."

"He was a troublemaker."

"Yeah. I seem to attract them."

In an effort to avoid an argument I refrain from commenting on that. Instead I ask,

"So what happened?"

"Well, to put matters simply, he teased her once too much and she took up a knife and stabbed him in the mouth. She used such force that she dislocated his jaw. She's very violent when provoked and right now, I'm sure that she's provoked."

Rangiku slipped in that piece of information very blasé, almost as if she had said that Akane passed him the salt across the table. Before I have time to properly digest the information, she continues.

"Tōshirō, I know that you're worried about why she saved Gin from you at the hearing. But I think that she was trying to save you from yourself. If you killed him you'd be arrested. I'm already halfway to execution. She can't afford to lose you too. She's fiercely protective."

She was trying to protect me. I don't say anything for a while because my mind is taken back to the first time that Akane encountered Momo. At the moment Akane looked bored, but I have the feeling that if I had not told her to stop she would have killed Momo or died trying in an effort to protect me. She didn't know that Momo was simply sparring. Akane saw her as a threat and threats had to be eliminated. I feel a pain in my chest and head as I make a connection. According to Rangiku, Ichimaru also thought the same way. He claims that's why he joined up with Aizen – he viewed Aizen as a threat and threats had to be eliminated. Akane shares the same philosophical ideals of Ichimaru. Hmm...

"What do you think is going on with her now?" I ask.

"I don't know. But whomever she's with...they must be having a hard time..."

A week passes and still we hear no news. Then one day at some time during the day (I have no idea of the time and I've given up trying) the guards remove Rangiku from her cell. It was not the usual time when she'd leave her cell for her bathroom privileges, she's already had that. I run to the bars and stretch my neck as far forward as the bars would allow.

"Where are you taking me?" Rangiku asks, but they refuse to answer.

"Where are you taking her!" I shout at them.

"That is not of your concern Captain Hitsugaya." One of the guards answer.

Like hell it isn't. Fear ripples through me. I do not like not being in control of a situation and I realize that I've lost complete control in this situation. I start to bang the bars in rage. The guard nearest to me approaches me.

"Captain Hitsugaya you need to calm down."

As he nears the bars I grab him by the collar and pull him into the bars with such force that he passes out instantly. Before he slips to the ground I quickly grab the keys that are dangling from his waist and note absentmindedly that they should have made this cell with a dual lock that needs to be opened simultaneously in an effort to avoid situations like this. The other guards must have gone into shock because it takes them a while to register what is happening. By the time they do however, it's too late and I am already out of the cell. There are five guards. One is to my left, two directly between Rangiku and me, and the other two are to my right. I shunpo and hit the two to my right severe blows to their larynx and kneecaps. They crumple to the ground like fallen trees. The one to my right, I hit him twice in the stomach, most likely rupturing his spleen with the force. I have only the two in front of me to deal with when suddenly I hear,

"You need more stealth and speed, Captain Hitsugaya."

I turn around and come face to face with Captain Soi Fon. I had no idea that she was standing there and I must admit that in the stealth and speed department she has outpaced me. I don't know what happens next; try as I might to remember, but the next thing I do know is that I am now strapped to a bed in a room that is completely dark. I reason that she must have used that paralysing green substance on me. If and whenever I get out of this I am going to lodge a formal complaint against that substance.

Days turn into weeks. I'm not sure which is going to drive me insane – the monotony of prison, the lack of stimuli or the lack of outside news. On some days I feel like I am on the brink of tears. I can't stand another night. I can't stand another night here not knowing what's going on. Why haven't I heard anything from Rangiku? Where did they take her? Is she okay? Dear Lord I hope they haven't hurt her. Every time I think about that, fear and rage strike me and I feel a sickening pain in my chest. I have to ball my hands into fists, let my fingernails dig deep into the skin until I draw blood in an attempt to escape my mind. Since she left everything has changed and my mind is turning against me. I need her. I need her love here with me. She has changed me so much. I feel like I can run naked and barefoot, not even shoes or socks, in the rain through the back garden with her. I wonder how she would feel to know that she has this effect on me, to know that I am lost without her. I feel listless and despondent and dejected without her. I've lost everything. My wife, my daughter, my family. Nothing can make it right unless I see them now. But right now all I have is hopelessness and my memories to keep me company.

My eyes are closed, but I am awake. I'm not sure which I prefer right now – to be awake with nothing, only darkness and silence or to be asleep where my anxieties torture me in my dreams. The thing about this type of torture – sensory deprivation, that is, is that you notice instantly any kind of stimuli that otherwise you would have ignored. On estimate our senses take in about 11, 000, 000 bits of information per second, yet we only process about 40 and unconsciously make use of the other 10, 999, 960. But now since all I see is darkness and all I hear is nothing except the rustle of the sheets under me and my breathing, I have acquired a higher sensitivity to stimuli. For instance I can now hear that two, no three people are coming towards my cell. However, I can only sense the reiatsu of two of them. One of them is an unknown and the other...is my wife. It feels almost surreal to sense her again, so much so that I do not allow myself to feel happy until I am absolutely sure that it is her. Suddenly the steel gate is raised. It makes such a loud and grating sound that I feel as if someone took a cheese grater to my eardrums. The sudden burst of intense light nearly levels me and for a moment I force them shut, opening them again, slowly and squinting. I see the outline of a man; he's a guard, and then the outline of a very shapely woman – Rangiku.

"Tōshirō!"

"Rangiku."

"Otou-san!" I hear and all of a sudden a flurry of silver is atop me hugging me. Why can't I ever sense this girl? I look up to see Akane sitting on the edge of my bed and she's smiling. I hate that smile. She looks so much like Ichimaru when she does that. But despite all that, I am so happy to see her.

"Akane."

Her smile drops. Thank God.

"That's all you have to say to me? Huh? A half-dead call of my name? You haven't seen me in weeks, Otou-san! Not even a hug! Hmmph!"

I sweatdrop.

"Apparently you failed to notice, but I am strapped to a bed, Akane." I do not try to keep the hint of annoyance and sarcasm from my voice.

She gives me a slightly raised eyebrow and says,

"But you're acting as if that is somehow my fault."

Good God! I shake my head in disbelief.

"You know, you're just like you're mother." I tell her with as much spite as I can muster. She looks scandalized.

"You take that back!" She hisses at me. "Did you hear what he said?" She says to Rangiku as she jumps up from the bed. "He said that I am just like you! How dare he!"

Rangiku too looks deeply insulted as if I had just called a wrinkly old cow.

"Tōshirō. Hmmph. I should have come here sooner. Obviously your mind has been affected. That little brat could never be like me."

It's official. I have an insane wife and daughter.

"I wish you could have gotten here sooner too, Rangiku. Where the hell were you? What the hell were you doing?"

She smiles cheekily at me.

"Paperwork."

I stare at her for a few moments before I form an intelligent reply. All I end up saying however is,

"Uhh...wha..."

"Wow, Otou-san. With those kinds of intelligent responses they should strap electrodes to your brain. They just might find the cure for the common cold."

I almost laugh at that one. I never quite pictured my reunion with my wife and daughter to be laced with insults, but now that I think about it, I wouldn't want it any other way.

The man that came with them suddenly says,

"You all are so weird."

"Don't knock it til' you've tried it." Rangiku says with a cheeky smile to me before she unsheathes her zanpakutō and cuts off my restraints.

We are back home and Rangiku has banned all visitors from seeing me for the next two days. I can't understand two things about that. Firstly, where were all those visitors when I needed them the most? Secondly why is she barring all of my visitors?

"Because you need your rest, Captain. You need to relax." She says as she helps me into my Captain's haori. It feels so good to be home again, with her, in our bedroom.

"I think I've gotten enough rest, Rangiku. I've been lying on my back in prison for two weeks. I'm plenty relaxed." I respond a bit in irritation as I remember the last two weeks.

"Yes, but I wasn't atop of you when you were on your back. What kind of relaxation is that?"

Blush spreads across my face like a wildfire. But I quickly compose myself and a sly smirk marks my face before I reply,

"You're right. I like that kind of relaxation, Rangiku. It's the only time that you do all the work."

She throws back her head and laughs before she pushes me onto the bed and crawls atop me.

When Rangiku and I emerge from the bedroom a couple of hours later it is after seven in the evening. I am so happy to be home. More than a month ago I was living alone in this two bedroom house and I was quite happy that way. I wanted no intrusions. All of a sudden I have a wife who is quite happy to make her presence known. She makes a mess wherever she goes. There is make-up and other feminine products in the bathroom. My wardrobe has slowly been overtaken by her extensive kimono collection, which makes no sense to me because she almost never has the time to wear anything but her Shihakushō. I wonder if she's trying to give me a subtle hint that she would like me to take her places so that she could wear her kimonos. Che. Women are so complicated. Akane on the other hand, is as unobtrusive as ever. Similar to how I can never sense her spiritual pressure, I sometimes forget that she lives here. And I will never hear the end of it when I accidentally sat down on her one day. I swear she wasn't sitting there before! I don't know how she manages to make her presence that inconspicuous because there is nothing inconspicuous about her. She's not pretty in the traditional sense of the word like her mother, but her looks command your attention what with her silver hair, large and strangely-hued blue eyes and her angular features. She's stunning in some way. I have my hands full with these women in my life. Anyway, when Rangiku and I emerge from the bedroom we see Akane sitting on the living room floor tearing into strips the Seretei Communications.

"Planning on making papier-mâché?" I ask her as I take a seat on the armchair and Rangiku sits on the sofa.

"What do I look like? Four?"

"No you look like ten, and that's what ten year old girls do."

"Do ten year old girls also destroy labs and get into battles with Captains?"

"What?"

"Oh right." Rangiku says a bit sombrely. "I didn't update him as yet on what happened during the last few weeks."

"Not surprised. I doubt that you were giving him a status report for the last two hours." Akane says making her parents blush furiously in front of her.

"Anyway, what happened?" I ask, almost dreading the answer.

"Well, after they took away you, Okaa-san and Gin," My mind goes into full alert. Did she just refer to Ichimaru as Gin? Exactly how much does she know about him? I look at Rangiku but she has her eyes trained on Akane. "...they took me to the Twelfth Division. That Kurotsuchi girl, Nemu, she's nice. She spoke to me kindly and I honestly get the feeling that she didn't want to cause me any harm. She was simply doing her job. But that freak Mayuri! He's...he's such a..." She paused as she searched for the right evil words to describe Kurotsuchi in the right evil light.

"Soul-sucking, lecherous scum of the Seretei?" Rangiku suggests.

"A contemptible and vile poor excuse for a Captain?" I suggest.

Akane looks at us quizzically for a moment.

"Yes and yes. I tried to do like what you said, Otou-san. I tried to keep in my reiatsu and keep a low profile. I was obedient. I did all the tests that he asked of me, but he didn't get any definitive answers since my reiatsu was completely hidden. But that didn't deter him. He bragged about how much fun he was going to have trying to figure out why my reiatsu moved the way it did. I really tried to keep my patience, Otou-san, really I did. But I have only so much for idiots like that. I didn't like where he was heading with his experiments, so I attacked him."

"You did WHAT?"

"I attacked him."

"You attacked a Captain with Kidō?"

"I used Kidō for a little while and I was winning too."

I am in shock, but then something alarms in my brain and I ask her,

"Akane, you know more Kidō than you let on, don't you?" She looks up at me with a slight smirk.

"If you're asking whether I know more than Momo, then yes. I picked up a lot from Tessai."

"Why did you go along with the lessons from Momo then? You hated them."

"No, I hated her." She corrects me expressionlessly.

"Why? Momo is one of the nicest persons that I know."

"Exactly." She responds cryptically. I look to Rangiku to get some kind of further explanation, but she's focused on Akane as if her life depended on it, not daring to give me so much as a glance.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"And they say you're genius." She replies and shakes her head in disbelief. Rangiku stifles a smile. "I know that Momo likes you, Otou-san. I was simply keeping an eye on her. She wasn't randomly assigned to be the prosecutor on Okaa-san's hearing. She volunteered for the case."

My eyes open wide at the revelation and I remember Momo apologizing to me on the day of the hearing. I take in the information trying to figure out why Momo would do that.

"Do not blame Momo for her actions." I say after a while. "She's come a long way from the girl she used to be. She used to be in absolute admiration of Aizen. It took her a long time to come to terms with his betrayal. I think that she wants to make up for her past mistakes. She wants to weed out treason and betrayal. I think that she so wants to make things right that she's blurring the lines between friendship and doing the right thing."

"I think you're talking nonsense."

"Not everything is black and white, wrong and right, Akane."

"That's what Gin told me."

I stare at her. Rangiku stiffens a bit and turns her head to suddenly find her fingernails most interesting.

"You've been speaking to Ichimaru?" I cautiously ask her.

"Who hasn't? Since he was cleared of his charges he's been dubbed a hero."

"He got cleared?" Suspicion runs through me like a live current.

"Yes, but he has to serve something near to five or seven hundred years probation. And his Captaincy will only be restored after he's finished his probation."

I have so many questions that I hardly know where to begin. I open my mouth but only reach that far.

"You're confused? Okay, let me break down for you what happened in the simplest way possible. When you and Okaa-san left me with Hisagi and Kira, I was feeling very anxious, so I slipped past them. I climbed out the window only to bounce into someone unexpected."

"_Going somewhere?" _

_I looked up to see this tall, thin man with a very broad smile and silver hair. _

"_Well I would be if you get out of my way." I said and made to go around him. _

"_Ya wouldn't happen to be goin to Ran-chan's hearing, now would ya?" _

_I stopped and looked at him. _

"_Ran-chan?" _

"_I'm guessing she hasn't told you who I am." _

"_And who are you?" _

"_I'm the guy that's responsible for this entire hullaballoo." _

"_No, you're an insane guy that's quite possibly a paedophile. I'm leaving." _

"_Matsumoto Akane-chan," He called my name in a way that sounded not threatening at all. It sounded almost...protective. When I turned around his smile had dropped and his eyes had opened. He had very beautiful blue eyes. But that was only for a moment and soon enough he was smiling like an idiot again. "I've known ya mama from since she was very young. We are very good friends. We grew up together. Unfortunately the bind that she's in is my fault, so I've come back to set things right. I know Captain Hitsugaya-kun too. For some inexplicable reason he doesn't seem to like me. I guarantee that when I show up in the Central 46 this afternoon, he will attack me and that's not going to be good for him. He'll get locked up." _

"_Why are you telling me this?" _

"_You're a smart girl just like your daddy. Figure it out." _

_And with that he walked off on me leaving me confused._

"But he was right. You did attack him, Otou-san."

"He wanted you to trust him. But don't trust him Akane."

"Why not? After I blocked your attack at the hearing and after I got into that fight with that freak, Mayuri, did you know that all of Soul Society called me a demon freak of nature? They say that it's not normal for anyone's reiatsu to behave that way. Soul Society hates me, Otou-san." She says and holds up piece of the Seretei Communications to show me the headline:

_DEMON CHILD POSSIBLE WEAPON TO BE USED AGAINST SOUL SOCIETY_

"One of the theories is that Okaa-san stayed in the Living World because she knew I was a threat to Soul Society, but you brought us back here because I am the ultimate weapon."

"What?"

"It's nonsense. It's just a vicious rumour. It'll die down in no time." Rangiku finally speaks up. Her tone is flat and she still hasn't removed her gaze from her fingertips.

"That's what Gin says too. He told everyone the truth about how Okaa-san was working together with him to bring down Aizen. Okaa-san even had to testify to that fact."

That piece of information takes me a while to digest and I have to repeat it over and over in my mind until I believe that I heard right.

"You testified on behalf of Ichimaru?" I turn to Rangiku and ask. She sighs heavily before she lifts her gaze from her fingertips and answers me.

"Yes."

I don't get time to react before Akane is speaking again, obviously not realizing the tension between her mother and me, or more likely, she notices it and is blatantly ignoring it.

"Anyway, now Soul Society sees Gin and Okaa-san as heroes. He and Okaa-san begged the Captain Commander to let that Mayuri freak let me go and after much begging and pleading, they finally did. Then they campaigned to get you freed because they said that you were just an innocent in the entire matter. See, Otou-san, I don't know why you don't like Gin. He's a great guy. He killed Aizen, he got Okaa-san off of the charges of treason, he got me away from that freak in a lab coat, Mayuri and he and Okaa-san got you out of jail. What's not to like about him?"

I decide to keep my mouth shut for the time being, mainly because I am struck with a strange feeling. It's an amalgam of emotions consisting mostly of jealousy, hatred, betrayal, mistrust and a fear that things are slipping from my control. Of all the people that Akane would take a liking to, why did it have to be Ichimaru? She met Ukitake. He's the nicest person ever. No one dislikes him. But Akane does. Instead, she likes Ichimaru.

"Otou-san, are you alright?"

"Akane. . .I want you to stop talking to Ichimaru."

"What? But –"

"This isn't up for discussion!" I shout at her, surprisingly losing my temper at her. She looks wounded and enraged.

"You're being so ungrateful! Gin and Okaa-san helped get you out of prison!"

"I think that you should go to your room, Akane."

"So whenever you get tired of seeing my face you're just going to send me away and get rid of me? You're no better than the rest of stinking Soul Society!"

"I'm sending you to your room because –"

"You have no legitimate reason! You're sending me to my room because you have a problem with Gin and you're taking it out on me!"

"Akane!" Rangiku interjects. She gives Akane a stern look. "Do what your father says and go to your room."

Akane looks from me to her mother. She is breathing hard. She is furious and I note that luckily, she's keeping her reiatsu in check. It's not even leaking out a bit. She huffs and stomps her way to her room where she slides her door shut with a resounding bang. I turn my attention to Rangiku. She looks very upset by the whole situation.

"So that's where you disappeared off to when they took you away."

"Don't make it sound like that, Tōshirō. You're sounding very passhole-aggresshole." She says and flicks her hand in the air in a very casual and dismissive fashion. But I'm not in the mood for her light humour. This is very serious business.

"That's not a word. And how should I make it sound?"

She sighs resignedly and stares me in the eye.

"Did you want me to come rescue you like how you rescued me? Did you want me to come kicking down doors and threatening everyone with my wrath? Well I couldn't have done that. Not only do I not possess the power to do such a thing, but Tōshirō, you were legitimately locked up as a suspect and you committed assault against the guards. Gin had to convince the Captain Commander and Central 46 of your innocence. I really was doing paperwork. There was a lot of red tape to cut through."

"What do you think he's playing at, Rangiku? He lies and tells everyone that both you and him were working together to take down Aizen; he begs to get me out of jail; he has all of Soul Society fawning after him like he's some superstar, Akane included. What do you think is his real goal?"

"I don't think that he has any real goal." She replies with a straight face. She could never be serious. It's as if she forgot who she's dealing with.

"He's gaining everyone's trust so that we'll be relaxed and trustful when he's ready to strike."

"You're paranoid."

"Am I really? How am I supposed to take it when he says that he's come to take back what's his? He already has a fan in Akane. And you testified for him."

"I had no choice. When I heard that he named me as an accomplice to his plans I had to act fast. Gin's not stupid and neither am I. He named me because he knew that that was the only way I'd escape being imprisoned for perjury, defection and treason."

"Treason?"

"Akane. Soul Society seriously sees her as a threat."

"If it weren't for him, she never would have tried to protect me at the hearing and Soul Society would never have found out about her reiatsu problem! Rangiku don't you see what he's trying to do? He's got you, me and Akane in his debt by trying to help us out, but he's up to no good, Rangiku. I don't know what his angle with Akane is, but he's up to no good."

"Tōshirō, you need to calm down. You're being paranoid. Nothing is going to happen. I'm not leaving you and neither is Akane. You need to calm down. This isn't like you."

"I don't want you talking to him." I say suddenly.

"Wh- wh-what?"

"I said that I don't want you talking to him. Stay away from him."

"Why? Don't you trust me?"

I take a second too long to answer and by the time I do have an answer it's too late. With her face set like concrete she turns on her heels and walks off into the bedroom where she too slides the door shut with a loud bang. I sink back down into the chair defeated and disgusted with myself. Somehow I managed to sour both Akane and Rangiku because of Ichimaru. Now that I think about it, every serious quarrel I've had with Rangiku has been because of Ichimaru. I breathe in heavily and try to steady my nerves. That man is going to ruin my life. I know that he's up to something, but what is it?

I don't even know when I fall asleep, but I wake up with a start on the armchair start hours later. My neck aches from the angle I fell asleep at. The clock on the wall says 2:18. I hear a strange sound, almost like someone kicking their feet against the wall. It takes me a while to place the sound as coming from Akane's room. My bedroom door slides open and I see Matsumoto walk into the living room, her zanpakutō drawn, her body tense and on high alert. Suddenly we hear a scream that seems to have been cut short.

"Akane!" We shout in unison and we both rush to her bedroom, zanpakutōs drawn. I fling open the door, but see no one there, only a room where it looks like a struggle took place. My daughter's been abducted. Why do I have the feeling that Ichimaru Gin is behind this. Has he come to take back what's his?

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**A/N**: Review please! Oh can any of you out there draw? Care to do a drawing of Akane? Anyway, review please!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: Hello everyone. Sorry about the late update, but I decided to write out this chapter and the next, which is the final chapter by the way, so that's why this took so long. I almost wrote the entire thing in one chapter when I suddenly remembered that I had to change narrative perspectives. So, here it is. Again, I apologize for the late update and you know late update means ridiculously long chapter. This chapter was inspired by Maxwell's song, 'Pretty Wings'.

* * *

The window is open and Captain and I of course think of the possibility that as soon as we stick our heads out of that window we might as well have laid our heads down for the guillotine. With zanpakutōs drawn we carefully make our way to the window, stepping over the bed sheet that now lies in a tangled mess on the floor together with various other scattered items from my daughter's bedside table and dresser drawers. We listen. I close my eyes and listen, trying to hear a footstep, breathing, heartbeats, anything; but we are only met with silence. Stealthily we advance towards the window when suddenly we see a sliver of silver flash in the darkness three hundred feet or so in front of us.

As we pelt through the window helter-skelter, comically sticking momentarily at the small window because we both came through at the same time as if this were some Shinigami remake of The Three Stooges, two thoughts enter our minds. One: Akane has not been kidnapped; rather it appears that _she _is chasing after someone, the biggest question being why. Two: Where and when did she learn to shunpo? Goodness! I keep feeling as if Akane has a world of secrets that she's keeping from me. I had no idea that she had picked up Kidō from Tessai. Now I learn that she can shunpo too? What other secrets does she have? Is she actually a sweet, willing, respectful and upbeat little girl and no one knows about it? I think about all the times that she sarcastically rolled her eyes at me and conclude that she could never be anything but my rude, bluntly direct, lazy and disrespectful offspring. But then I suppose I never thought that Gin could be a cold-blooded murderer and look how that turned out...

Akane has on us about a hundred second lead and after that brief glimpse of silver hair, Captain and I quickly lose her. We halt on the rooftop of the Tenth Division's armoury searching for her reiatsu, but feel nothing, as to be expected. The night sky is bright, stars easily spotted. I have a tight feeling in my chest that alerts me to a sense of foreboding. The last time I was out on a night this clear and bright it was in the Living World and those two rogue Shinigami had attacked us and Akane had gone beserk. I just know that this night will not end well. Suddenly we spot the glimpse of silver again and Captain and I take off in a haze of shunpo after our daughter. We're speeding at about 40mph over rooftops, between alleyways and around corners and courtyards. We constantly lose sight of her and must slow down and speed back up again when we spot her in our line of vision. Yoruichi. She's the only one that could have taught Akane to shunpo this quickly. I wonder how many other things Akane must have picked up from Urahara's gang and I don't know about it. But who cares about that at the moment, for my chest is feeling like it's about to explode, my legs are burning with near fatigue. If I keep this up soon I'll be exhausted and I may crumble like melted ice. I suppose that's why Akane stopped too. Not because _she _was exhausted but whoever she was chasing most likely were like me and was grossly out of shape after years of training specifically with a zanpakutō that mostly allowed me to stand in one spot and get the job done. Lazy-ass Heineko.

It takes us a moment to get our bearings but we soon realize that we are in the courtyard in front of Central 46 Chambers. I really wish that those people would stay out of my life. I would like to have just one day where I don't have to hear the term Central 46 mentioned and it's not just because they seem intent on executing me for any crime, but if I never hear the name again at least I wouldn't have to think about how imagination-lacking their title is. 46 people who are centralized and make decisions? What shall we name ourselves?

Captain is right next me and right about now I am still so angry with him that I don't even look at him; not even a side glance. Akane is just about ten feet ahead of us and we can see three other male Shinigami in front of her. They are breathing hard, their hands feebly holding onto the heavy weight of their drawn zanpakutōs. I can't tell which Division they are from, but clearly they are not top seated Shinigami. They look young; I can practically smell breast milk on their upper lips, that's how young they are. If I, a Lieutenant, am having trouble keeping up with Akane's speed then they definitely would never be able to keep up. I have a sneaky feeling that Akane knew this and she deliberately ran them into exhaustion. Trained by Yoruichi, she could have caught up to these greenhorns at any time, but she purposely let them be just ahead of her while she waited for them to give into fatigue. Now as I look at the three men standing there looking like their lungs are about to collapse I must confess that that is genius. My lazy-ass daughter does not even have to try half as hard to subdue them.

"Akane, what are you doing?" Captain asks.

She does not answer, turn around or show any indication that she even heard him.

"Akane! I am speaking to you!" He shouts at her, but he gets no reply.

"Akane –" I appeal and take a step forward, but as soon as I move I walk smack into an invisible wall. I could have seriously hurt my nose and forehead, but luckily I was saved by my breasts that stick so far out they act as an early warning system. It is only then that Captain and I realize that we have been ensnared in a prison of Kidō. We don't even know when she did it! We can now see the slightly shimmering walls. How could we have missed it before?

"Akane! Let us out of here!" I shout at her, but she continues to ignore me. Well, that was it, I tried. That was my best appeal. I dress back and wait for her or some other Good Samaritan passer-by to get us out of this mess. Captain on the other hand is not on the same level as me. He inexplicably has this ne'er-give-up attitude to the entire situation and he is hollering at her, charging at the Kidō wall and repeatedly striking his zanpakutō in the vain hopes that he would weaken it through persistent stress. He looks like a child that is relentlessly trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, on some level recognizing the futility of the situation, but still not giving up trying. Maybe it's because he hasn't known Akane as long as I have, but I know that after I ask her twice and she still refuses; it's a lost cause. I have to wait on her time. Many would argue that it's because of my give-in attitude that she's so rude, disrespectful and stubborn, but there's not much that I can do if my daughter and a donkey have similar personality traits.

"Aren't you going to do something, Matsumoto? Why the hell are you just standing there?" Captain yells at me.

"She's not going to let us out of this until she's good and ready, Captain." I reply as I re-sheathe my zanpakutō.

He looks at me with confusion and exasperation, his eyebrows furrowed into a distinct V of annoyance and his lips set into a thin, straight line of disapproval.

"WHAT! Matsumoto, we have to do something. I don't know what's going on, but it does not look good. I don't know who those men are or what happened in that just might...she just...she just might kill them!" He blurts out.

I move to counter, when suddenly Akane answers,

"That's right, Otou-san. They don't call you genius for nothing, do they?"

Our necks snap to face her, but her back is still turned to us. The three Shinigami have collapsed into a crumpled, wrinkled heap on the ground. They all look like they're about to have an Asthma attack. Akane doesn't even bother to bind them with Kidō, but a long, glowing orange whip spurns from her hands and in one swoop she confiscates their zanpakutōs and flings them away to the other side of the courtyard. Their faces look terrified, with their eyes opened wide and their mouths hanging down, trembling in dread. I cannot see the look that Akane has on her face, but judging by the terrified expressions on the faces of the Shinigami, I'd swear they were looking into the merciless eyes of a monster.

"P-p-p-p-please, we beg of you. Please, please. We're so sorry. Please don't kill us." They mete out between sobs. I don't know who they are or what they did but it's never easy to see grown men cry, let alone cower and plead for their lives.

"AKANE! Stop this!" Captain and I beg as we bang our fists against the Kidō barrier and constantly attack it with our zanpakutōs. The severity of the situation has been heightened by these men's sobs and Akane's certain declaration of their imminent deaths at her hands. I always knew that she was violent, but I never once saw my daughter as a murderer. But now I can see her innocence and my faith in her slipping away in front of my eyes and what hurts the most is that I am powerless to stop it.

"Who sent you to my room?" Akane asks the three men, but they only continue to blubber out cries for mercy. She advances on them and they cry louder, edging backwards from her while my hands ache from pounding against the barrier, my voice beginning to get hoarse from shouting. Small, glowing orange balls of light develop from her fingertips.

"Who sent you to my room?" She repeats her question.

"Please, we're sorry. Just let us go. We won't do anything like that again. Just let us go. Please."

"I believe that you won't do anything like that again. You won't have the chance to; I'll make sure of it."

The orange balls of light glows brighter and she aims her fingers at them. I have no idea what sort of cruel destruction those balls of Kidō at the end of her fingertips are capable of, but I suspect that it will be painful.

Suddenly and extraordinarily surprisingly, we see a blur of silver and just like that Gin appears in front of Akane holding her hand away from her intended target. Everyone is momentarily stunned by his presence. Where the hell did he come from, I want to scream out loud.

"Akane-chan, ya sure that's what ya really wanna do?"

Akane does not immediately react, for she too must be wondering the same thing as everyone else – why is Gin here? I look over at Captain and he looks like he's having a hard time settling on one facial expression. Should he go with relief or righteous rage? The three Shinigami do not look relieved, however. Gin might be a hero now in Soul Society, but his reputation still lingers as a man whose presence would almost definitely result in emotional, mental or physical discomfort for some unlucky soul. Akane seems to have regained her composure for she snatches back her hands away from him, but the balls of orange light on her fingertips that would not have been out of place on a Christmas tree back in the Living world, suddenly disappear.

"What did you do to me?" She asks Gin, enraged.

"I'm saving ya from makin' a really bad mistake."

"What did you do to me?" She repeats because in all fairness, Gin did not actually answer her question.

"I blocked yer ability to perform Kidō by temporarily preventin' reiatsu from enterin' into yer hands. It's a forbidden technique." He proudly says.

"WHAT?"

"What? I said it was temporary."

"You – you – you just don't get it!" She shouts back at him. Her rage quickly fizzles into tired exasperation. "I never even wanted to come here."

That makes Captain and me pause, not because she has never told us such on a thing. On the contrary she makes it her business to remind us every two goddamn minutes that she never wanted to come to Soul Society, but she is here only because she knows I'd probably get charged for neglect if I left her alone in the Living World. Oh and because she doesn't know how to cook. But what really makes us take notice is the emotion in her voice. Akane sounds tired. It's the most emotion that she's shown when addressing this topic.

"All of Soul Society hates me. They think that I'm a demon and they want me removed. They want me dead and gone. Tonight I was sleeping in my bed minding my own business when these three idiots break into my room. They called me as demon. Maybe you should have brought along an exorcist." She says to the three cowering men on the ground. "It might have helped you defeat this demon."

"Were ya spewing green pea-coloured vomit while ya were tied ta the bed?" Gin asks her with that maddening smile and she looks up at him quizzically. Did he just make a reference to the Living World movie, '_The Exorcist'_? Something in the back of my brain stirs, but I push back the thought to the matter at hand.

"I just want to be left alone, Gin. I don't like all this attention. Why can't people just leave me alone?"

"Well Akane-chan, I suppose yer first error is that ya move about with people that kinda stick out. For Ran-chan, she literally sticks out." And I sweatdrop. My breasts are not that big – oh who am I kidding? They're huge. "Captain Hitsugaya-kun may be short, but that white hair really doesn't blend in well. If ya don't want anybody to take ya on, ya should hang out with people like Kira-kun and Lieutenant Sasakibe."

"Who?"

"Exactly."

And for the first time tonight she smiles. Not a big, bright smile, but more than a smirk. I feel...I feel ecstatic and guilty as if I were snorting cocaine. I feel ecstatic because of a certain pride that Gin is able to make Akane smile. She is so very comfortable in his company. I feel guilty because next to me I can practically feel Tōshirō deflate with dejection and jealousy. I don't want him to be feeling that way. Whatever anger I had towards him quickly melts away in that moment. I want to tell him not to worry, she is still your daughter and I am still your wife. But I know now is not the time. Instead I just move a bit closer to him.

"Listen to me Akane-chan, I know that right now ya really wanna kill these idiots and I'm kinda really likin' the idea."

The three Shinigami looked like they just crapped in their hakamas.

"But I am a changed man," I hear Captain snort at this, while Gin very subtly and almost imperceptibly turns his head towards us, his smile widening. "And I really can't allow ya to do that." The three Shinigami collectively release their breaths and probably unclench their butt cheeks. "Ya won't solve yer problem. As a matter of fact, ya'd just be worsening it."

Akane looks like she's mulling over Gin's words. In the meantime Gin turns and smiles his best smile at the three Shinigami cowering on the ground.

"What ya waitin' on? Taxi fare?"

The three Shinigami scramble to their feet, falling over each other in the process and mumbling thank yous and a thousand beg pardons as they make their hasty exit. I see Gin's eyes narrow at them and Akane too looks after the bumbling, fleeing men.

"Are you INSANE!" Tōshirō's voice suddenly rings out deafening. "How can you just let them go like that?"

"Don't worry Captain Hitsugaya-kun, everyone get's their just reward."

"I really hope that Akane never lets me out of this barrier because I will kill that man." Tōshirō mutters under his breath.

"Reaching for that father of the year award? The best ones always end up in prison on murder charges." I mutter, but he hears me and flashes me a dangerous don't-mess-with-me-tonight look.

The barrier drops and for a brief moment Captain's unruly reiatsu ripples the atmosphere, the temperature drops to a chilly subzero and the sky blackens with swirling clouds. Meanwhile Gin stands there with his stupid shit-eating grin on his face. I put a hand on Tōshirō shoulder and Akane turns to look at him.

"Otou-san, are you upset with me?" The little troublemaker actually looks remorseful. I see Gin's smile momentarily falter, but he rocks back on his heels and clasps his hands behind his back and fixes his smile back in place. Tōshirō's reiatsu instantly stabilizes. He takes my hand in his and walks forward to meet Akane.

"I'm not upset with you. I – I just..." I know he can't find the words to say that he loves and cares for her too much, so he ends up saying, "I'm happy that you're ok," in the brusquest manner he could muster. Akane is not someone to ever say 'I love you' and I'm sure that she might never ever say it, no matter how much the moment might turn into a Hallmark moment; none of us are like that. Instead, she hugs Tōshirō and me.

"Okaa-san, are you upset with me?" She asks. It sounds kind of muffled since her face is still pressed against my stomach.

"No. You did what your father would have done." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gin turn his head in my direction. "Tōshirō always had a problem of controlling his anger." I continue and I see Gin nod, rock on his heels and turn to walk away. Tōshirō holds onto us a bit tighter before he pulls away.

"And where the hell do you think you're going, Ichimaru?"

Gin stops and turns around.

"To sleep. It's half-three in the morning, for Kami's sake Captain Hitsugaya-kun."

Wisely, Toshiro ignores Gin's sarcasm.

"Why did you come all the way here?"

"I was taking a stroll."

"A stroll?"

"Yes. The moonlight looks wondrous against my silver locks. It's what gives my hair its liquid lightning colour." I feel the temperature dip dangerously again and I put a hand on Tōshirō's shoulder. "I would love to stay and chat, Captain Hitsugaya-kun, but I gotta go. It's half-three in the morning. Ya shouldn't be out this late. It's a school, I mean, a work night. Bye-bye." And with that he turns and leaves; shunpoing too quickly for us to register which direction he took off in.

"He's hilarious." Akane says. Tōshirō looks at her as if she just said that eating nails is good for her digestive system. Clearly, she is wrong.

"Akane...you should really stay away from Ichimaru."

She pulls back from him like a snapped cable.

"Why? Why do you hate him so much?"

He really doesn't have an answer for her that doesn't involve him saying 'because Ichimaru's an asshole', so he says nothing.

"How about we talk about this at another time? It's getting late." I suggest and they happily oblige, but I can see that Akane is on edge. She walks ahead of us while we look at her forlornly. As we walk back to our house I take his hand in mine. He looks up at me.

"We need to talk to her." He says to me after a while.

"Yeah." I agree but offer up no suggestions on what exactly to say to her and neither does he. My daughter is homesick for the Living World. She feels like she doesn't belong and that she has no one that she can relate to. A society is against her and no matter how many times Tōshirō and I tell her that we care for her and no matter how much we show our love for her, we just can't reach her. A few silent moments pass before he speaks up again.

"Are you still upset with me, Rangiku?"

"What? You think I'm planning on breaking your fingers? No. I just want to be close to you." He does not say anything, but tightens his grip.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to worry about me, Tōshirō." He looks as if he wants to say something but decides against it for the sake of keeping the peace. For the sake of my sanity I decide not to pry. "You don't have to worry about me," I repeat, "You're the one that I'm married to. Yes, I have a past, but you're the one that makes me happy from my hair follicles all the way down to my toenails."

"Which toenail? The ingrown one?"

"Tōshirō!" I shout and pull away from him. He laughs and pulls me back to him.

"And they say that I can't take a joke."

"Yeah, yeah, singing frog."

He soon sobers and with his eyes studying the complicated patterns of the concrete walkway, he says:

"When I told you to stay away from Ichimaru, it wasn't an order, but I meant it as a personal request from a husband to his wife. It's not that I don't trust you. It's him that I can't trust. "

"I understand."

"You understand, but are you going to stay away from him?"

"Yes." I answer immediately, though I know that I am lying blatantly. He looks up at me and I smile brightly. He nods and brings me closer to him. I'm surprised that he's able to pull me since I know how heavy I'm feeling with guilt.

* * *

Bright and early the next afternoon I march up to Gin's house on the outskirts of the Third Division. I lied to Tōshirō because I knew that I had to see Gin at least one more time. I needed to straighten out what his real intentions were. There were a lot of questions that only he had the answers to. During the time that we spent together when we were trying our best to free Tōshirō he hardly spoke to me unless it was a direct question regarding Tōshirō's situation. Otherwise, he asked me nothing about myself, about Akane or about my marriage. I'm not sure exactly what his intentions were, but I know for a fact that he is up to some scheme and I will figure it out. I knock hard on his door and he slides it open wearing a tight smile to let me know of his irritation.

"Do ya know what time it is? Who died, Ran-chan? I hope somebody died and that's why yer wakin' me at this ungodly hour of two in the afternoon." He says as he moves aside not so much to make room for me to enter, but more so because the stinging afternoon sun is on his face.

"Shut up." I say because I know that he's just mocking me. I can count numerous times when he would come to my room and I'd tell him the exact same thing because my hangover from last night's drinking would render me immobile on the bed until sometime near six in the evening. He closes the door behind him and I take a seat on one of the tatami mats. His house is always Spartan in decor. I don't know if it's because he's trying to recreate the broken, poor times we spent in our shack in the Rukongai where we had no furniture by force, not design, but Gin has one low mahogany table for writing that he double uses as a coffee table and quite an array of expensive tatami mats. He has two floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on opposite ends of the far walls and that is it. His bedroom has two bedside stands and his closet that is filled of his shihakushōs, Captain's haoris and some of my clothes. His bed is his only luxury. It is king-sized with sheets that have more than 1000 thread count. His kitchen might as well had not been there because in all the time that I ever spent here I have never seen him use it or even look in its direction to acknowledge its existence. It's only as I am here that I notice the stark contrast between his and Tōshirō's decorating sense. In Tōshirō's house there are artful scrolls and books lying about, a sofa, flowers that are kept fresh, you know, signs that someone lives there. But Gin does not leave much of his personality in his house. I suppose he always knew that one day he would have left Soul Society.

"So, what's up, Ran-chan?" He asks as he takes a seat next to me on the tatami mat and offers me a drink from his special stash of sake that he always claimed that he had especially for me. I love it! It's the best sake ever! If I missed anything about Gin, it would definitely be this sake that he had for me only. And I mean it really is for me because Gin does not drink. He says that he stays sober because "somebody has to tell the story." Anyway, for the first time I notice that he's wearing a haori, but it's not a Captain's haori. It's a simple black haori over his shihakushō.

"Hmm...So no Captain's haori since you're not a Captain. Are you sad that you got demoted?"

He laughs out loud.

"Are ya kiddin' me? This is the best thing that coulda happen. I don't know why I didn't defect earlier. I don't like the limiter and the ankle bracelet that they're makin' me wear," and he lifts up his hakama to show me his monitor, "but I can't complain. I'm not a Captain, but I am to be used in a consulting capacity. That means that Kira-kun does all the work and I just add my two cents every now and then whenever he works up the courage to come speak to me, which he hasn't and I don't think he ever will."

"He's avoiding you?"

"Yep. For kicks, I like to hang outside his room. He'll stay cooped up inside there all day just because he doesn't want to risk running into me. The thing is I wouldn't really be outside his room all day. I'd tie a kite against the railing of the balcony and the fluttering of the kite would create a shadow at the bottom of the door so he'd think that I was I still prancing about in front of his room. I'm going to make him a shut-in if he doesn't learn to face me."

I throw back my head and laugh because I can see Kira sitting in his room paranoid that he'd run into his old Captain.

"I see that you're up to your old torturous tricks, huh?"

"Ahh, so much fun."

"You really shouldn't torture him so much. He cares for you a lot and you disappointed him so much."

"Ya know yer just jealous that yer not in on the plan."

"That too," And he chuckles at me, "but that's beside the point."

"What is the point, Ran-chan? Why are ya here to see me, sneaking out when yer husband's takin' his after lunch nappie time?"

"Don't make it sound like that."

"Like how? Like he's a child? Tell me, when ya moved into the house with him did you baby proof the bedroom from him?"

"Gin!"

"Sorry. I have no one to blame for ya becoming a paedophile but myself."

"Gin."

"I shouldna left ya. I shoulda done the things I did differently."

"You shouldn't have done them at all."

"Ah. Agree to disagree?"

I shake my head in exasperation and as I do that a memory stirs as if by shaking my head like that the memory fell out of its hiding place like dust from a mat.

"How do you know that _The Exorcist_ is Akane's favourite movie?"

"Ah, so ya caught on to that, now did ya?"

"Answer the damn question!"

He smiles and mumbles something about 'always impatient' before he speaks; his face a bit serious despite the smile.

"I never left ya side Ran-chan. I wasn't there, but I was there in the shadows."

He pauses a bit to let this information settle within me.

"I know how much ya cried when I left. I know that ya had a very difficult pregnancy. I know that ya was confined to bed rest for most of ya pregnancy term. I know that ya had a horrible labour."

I stare at him, not sure of what to feel. I'm torn between shock, rage and relief.

"I don't want to talk about my pregnancy. That was the worst experience of my life." I mutter and twitch a bit as I get PTSD flashbacks of when I went into labour. It's all I can say, because I honestly don't know how to react to the fact that he was always watching me, but from a distance. Gin ignores me and continues.

"I remember when Akane took her first step; the first time she called ya Okaa-san, the first time that ya got called into school because she threw a brick at that boy's head and how much ya cried after that. I never left either of yer side. I just had to keep my distance for a while. I had things ta get done and I wanted that ya and Akane-chan stay as far away from it as possible. I didn't want ya two ta ever get hurt, Ran-chan. I never expected ta lose everything."

His smile has dropped completely and his eyes are open. This is the Gin that I alone know. I should pity him, but I don't.

"How does it feel Gin, to know that you waited so long for something and in the end it didn't work out? Do you feel foolish? Because that's how I felt when I waited for you all those years and you never came. No one knew of all the pain that I went through having to raise Akane on my own, having to be in exile away from my home. I hope that you're hurting."

He doesn't answer, but smiles tightly. I know that my comment must sting him like nothing else for him to smile at me like that. I want to knock his teeth out.

"Yer upset with me."

"What gave it away?"

"Ya said ya wanted ta knock my teeth out."

"I said that out loud?"

"Uh huh."

"Can I?"

"No."

"You don't smile with your teeth anyway."

"I need my teeth."

"You'd be much better off without them."

"No, that's what I told ya last time, remember? I said that I can't wait for ya ta get old and yer teeth falls out, so that when yer givin' me a blo–"

"Oh my God, you're such a perv!"

We throw back our heads and laugh and that's when it hits me of how much I missed him. He always, always could make me laugh.

"What d'ya do with that scarf and necklace that I gave ya?" He suddenly asks and all at once the necklace that Tōshirō gave me feels heavy, cold and constrictive around my neck. I really can't seem to bring myself to answer him or even look him in the eye...well, his eyes are closed, but you know what I mean.

With a sagely nod of his head he gives me a stiff, knowing grin.

"I see. So Hitsugaya-kun's trying to erase everything so that there'll be no remnants, no trace, no residual feelings, huh? One day you won't remember me."

"I highly doubt that."

"I suppose it's hard to forget when every time ya look at Akane ya see me."

It's the closest he's come to outrightly claiming Akane as his daughter and I feel as if I want him to just come out and say it, yet at the same time I don't want him to claim his right as a father.

"I just can't see what ya could possibly see in him." He continues, "I mean, there isn't much of him to be seen –"

"Don't go there. You're the one that messed up. You're the one that played with my heart; you're the one that toyed with my emotions. I was sick over you. I got sick of you. But I found the remedy; I had to set you free. Tōshirō shows me what love is supposed to be, what love can be when you're not with me."

"That's very poetic. All ya need to do now is set it in a haiku and then maybe the Seretei Communications can publish it."

"I turn my head at him and give him a look that clearly reads 'fuck you' and he chuckles lightly, but it's infectious and try as I might not to laugh, the corners of my mouth start to turn upwards into a smile.

"Made ya laugh, Ran-chan." And he pokes me in the side, right at my tickle spot and I laugh even louder.

"You're such a jerk."

"And ya love this jerk."

"That's the problem right there." It slips out of my mouth unexpectedly, but he pretends not to notice. Instead, he follows up immediately with another more pressing and important question, distracting me from that passive confession that slipped out of my mouth.

"Love me enough to forgive me?"

"I forgave you the moment you asked me to." And that's the unexpected truth. I've always forgiven him and I probably will forgive him no matter what. I hate that I'm so weak for him.

"Ya forgive me enough to let me spend time with Akane?"

"I...don't think that's a good idea."

"It's not a good idea for her to spend time with her father?"

"She spends time with Tōshirō all the time. "I say spitefully. I have no idea why, but I want him to call Akane his daughter, I want him to claim her. It makes no sense. It's the exact opposite of what I want. Why the hell would I want him to claim Akane as his own?

"I suppose so. But _I_ would like ta spend time with her."

I look at him, waiting for him to say more, maybe say something more direct like say, I don't know, I am Akane's father and I want her to spend more time with me. Oh God! Something is wrong with me. This is crazy behaviour. Captain always said that my binge drinking was costing me brain cells. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should stop drinking...so much in one day.

"Look, Tōshirō doesn't want you spending any time with Akane. He thinks that you're a bad influence. As a matter of fact, he doesn't want me spending any time with you either. I'm not even supposed to be here."

"He has a habit of telling ya what ta do, doesn't he?"

"Don't make it sound like that."

"Like how? Like he doesn't trust you? Like he's controlling? I'm sure that _you_ trust him. And I'm sure that he wouldna take too kindly if ya told him what ta do."

My mind instantly reverts to Tōshirō explicitly explaining how he wanted me to stay away from Gin as a request, not an order and suddenly I feel angry at Gin.

"You're not a marriage counsellor, so don't try to be one." I spit huffily at him as I get up.

"Who mentioned marriage counsellor? Are ya looking for one?" He smiles at me and I want to strangle him.

"I have to go." I say and with that I take my leave.

Whenever I'm with Gin my emotions fluctuate, always bobbing and weaving like a kite in the sky. One minute I want to kiss and hug him. He'll have me feeling easy and free like the breeze; absolutely happy. And then in the time it takes to say 'Gin, you're an asshole' he'll make me want to kill him. I can't figure him out and maybe that's why I'm always drawn to him. Just when I think that I've got him figured out, it turns out that I don't. Of course my husband trusts me! And I trust him too! How dare Gin suggest otherwise? Tōshirō is not controlling. If I were to tell Tōshirō this he'd say 'I told you so, I told you to stay away from him, Ichimaru is no good."

But is he really up to no good? So he's made some negative remarks about Tōshirō and my marriage. That's understandable given the circumstances. Every time that Tōshirō even hears Gin's name he develops a twitch and his mouth instantly turns into a sneer. It's obvious that a string of expletives is running through his mind. To be fair, Gin has not made any advances towards me. All he's asked is to he spend more time with his daughter. I have to admit that I feel a bit disappointed about that. I don't know what I was expecting. Did I want him to life me up into his arms, kiss me and tell me how much he loves me so? In addition to the fact that he would never do such a thing, why would I want such a thing? I shake that thought from my head because I'm afraid of what the answer could be. A more important question would be, should I really keep Akane away from him when clearly she likes spending time with him? He's one of the few people that she has liked instantly. But no matter what I can't go against Tōshirō's wishes. I see the look of jealousy and hurt on his face whenever Akane would talk about Gin. I remember the look of anxiety on his face when he learnt that Gin would be staying in Soul Society. I love my husband. He's worked so hard to finally have happiness with me and Akane. I won't let anyone take it away from us.

* * *

I arrive home sometime near half six in the evening. The Eighth Division is on my way home and yes, it took me four hours to stop by and say hi to Captain Kyoraku. He didn't want me to go. Every time that I got up to leave he kept insisting that I have another drink. I got so fed up with his politeness that I decided to just drink the entire bottle and end the unnecessary talk right there. Anyway, as I go up the three steps to my home, I notice that Tōshirō watered the ferns that are hanging from the ceiling of the veranda as well as the other plants that are spread all over the veranda floor. Great! I rub my face against the wet leaves of the hanging ferns hoping to rub out the redness of the alcohol from my cheeks. As I am doing that I look down and see another pair of waraji next to Tōshirō's and Akane's. Hmm...he has a visitor. I break away from the plant and move towards the door and recognize instantly Momo's voice.

"...not taking Kidō lessons with me anymore?"

"She doesn't need to. She's quite skilled enough."

"I figured as much. And how is she doing? There's a rumour that she was involved in some sort of commotion last night with some male Shinigami."

I can hear Tōshirō hesitate with his answers.

"She's fine. It was nothing; just some men who got caught up in the rumours and malicious talk that are circulating about her."

"It'll die down soon enough, I suppose. And how is Matsumoto-san?"

"She's well."

"Are you worried now that Ichimaru has returned?"

"Should I have reason to?"

"I suppose not. Matsumoto-san seems very much in love with you. You can tell when a woman is in love and she's in love with you. I would know."

I blush because I had no idea that it was that obvious. Wait, I'm blushing? Ha! Now I can say that Momo's statement made me blush. It has nothing to do with alcohol at all. I put my hand against the door to slide it open when I hear Momo say,

"I take it that you did not tell her we kissed on the day of the hearing?"

My hand pauses at the door. I lean in closer. I just can't believe that what I heard. I must have heard wrongly.

"No, I did not tell her."

"Why?"

"I haven't gotten around to it."

"You're too busy to tell your wife that you kissed me?"

"I don't want to hurt her."

"You just want to hurt me?"

"I don't want to hurt anybody."

"Well it's too late for that. How do you think I felt when I heard that you had married Matsumoto-san? Didn't you know how I felt? I thought we could have had something. Didn't you think that we could have had something?"

"I thought so, yes."

"Didn't you feel anything when I kissed you? You had to. You kissed me back."

"Momo, I felt –"

He cuts off his words because of the noise I made when I accidentally kicked over one of the empty plant pots on the veranda. I had no idea that I was backing away, probably recoiling in hurt and anger and disappointment. I hear his footsteps coming towards the door and I quickly suppress my spiritual pressure as I shunpo away so quickly that when he stepped outside all he must have seen was the plant pot still spinning on the ground.

"Back so soon, Ran-chan?" Gin says as he opens the door for me.

After I spend the next five minutes explaining to Gin why I wanted to send Haineko straight through Momo's and Toshiro's head he turns to me and says,

"Okay, the water from the plant would have gotten rid of the redness in yer face, but how were ya gonna explain to him why yer face was wet?"

"GIN! That is not the point!"

"I know that Ran-chan, but I just thought that maybe ya'da like to know why ya plan of not letting Hitsugaya-kun know ya was drinkin' wasn't foolproof."

"You of all people shouldn't talk about foolproof plans."

"Good point."

"Speaking of point, you know that that's not the point!"

"Right. The point is that ya think Hitsugaya-kun's cheatin' on ya."

"I don't think that he's cheating on me." I reply wearily.

"Then what d'ya think it is then?"

"I think that he kissed her, but it was a one-off event. I don't think that he's having an affair, but he definitely still has feelings for her."

"You got that from the five ta ten lines that Hinamori said?"

"Gin!"

"Listen, ya should go home and talk to Hitsugaya-kun. Maybe yer reading too much into things. Ya were always impatient Ran-chan. Why the heck didn't ya stay and listen to the rest of that conversation? Anyway, ya need to talk things over with your boy-toy."

I look over at him. He's already up from the tatami mat and crossing over to the door. Does he really not care for me anymore? Has all feeling been lost towards me? Does he really see me only as a close friend and the mother of his child? It hurts to know that my love is so easily forgotten.

"Ya should go home to ya husband, Ran-chan." He repeats and opens the door for me. I stare at him for a moment. I feel guilty that I want him to be the same old Gin that I've always known. I wasn't him expecting to practically push me into the arms of another man. He's really a changed man. He has only my best interest at heart, I suppose. Maybe I can trust him after all. I get up and take my leave, but before he closes the door on me I turn to him and say,

"Meet and Akane and me at the Western Gates tomorrow at three."

He gives me a genuine smile.

"Thank you, Ran-chan. I'll see ya then."

* * *

**A/N**: Like I said, the next chapter's already completed so you'll get it in a couple of days.


	15. Chapter 15  Part One

**Chapter Fifteen – Part One**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

**A/N**: Sorry for the late update. I have excuses: My computer crashed, I had a demanding exam and I decided to write over the story. It's ridiculously long so I decided to separate it into two. Hope you like it!

* * *

Rangiku has been acting strangely lately. She's been doing work. It's the strangest thing. She's not doing paperwork (wishful thinking only goes so far, I suppose), but of late she's been willingly executing her duties as Lieutenant of the Tenth Division. Her reports says that she's been training her subordinates, acting as mediator and arbitrator in any sort of conflict resolution, coaching the new recruits on the characteristics of their zanpakutōs and planning and sometimes leading infiltration teams on small missions. It's so strange! I did not have to shout, threaten, coerce, bribe or blackmail her into doing any of those activities. She willingly, of her own mind, got up one day two weeks ago and said that she'd be busy today because she had to act as an arbitrator in the matter involving our Seventh Seat and the Ninth Seat of our Division. But what's even stranger is that in the evening she'd take Akane with her because as she claimed, "Akane needs to learn how the Division works, so I think I'll have her work with me in the planning of a reconnaissance mission this evening." I had been waiting for this moment when Rangiku's work ethic would get a major overhaul and the moment has finally arrived! Things are getting done so efficiently that I can complete my duties twice as fast because I don't have to carry out her duties as well (well, I still have to do her paperwork, but baby steps.)

I should be happy. I should be on my knees, letting my forehead graze the top of my bed as I knelt in prayer and thanked whichever higher power that's responsible for Rangiku's attitude change to work. I should be happy, but I'm not. If she had adopted this new attitude to work while remaining her cheerful and carefree self, I would have been ecstatic. I would have said that I had died and gone to Captain's heaven. I'll admit that one of my most frequent fantasies is to see Rangiku sitting in the office doing work while _I _sit and nag her about every and anything. Did I mention that in this fantasy she's usually naked? The sole reason that I love this fantasy so much is because I know it is possible. It is quite possible for Rangiku to sit at my desk in the office completely naked as she did work. I told her this once and she said that she didn't mind the naked part, but her completing work was a sick, sick fetish that I should seek psychological help for. So now, now that she has begun on this new campaign to actually do her duties I thought that the probability of my fantasy actually coming through would now increase by a factor of one.

But no. Rangiku's been distant lately. Winter has begun and brought with it a cold front, but not colder than how my wife has been towards me. I've been trying to ignore it as one of her moods. You know, brush it off lightly that as far as I know nothing's wrong until I hear something from her. But it's getting harder to ignore. She gets up early and says that she has some work to complete. When she comes home she makes dinner, we all sit down as a family and chat about nothing in specific, everything in general, maybe play Shogi, etc. When she retires to the bedroom she says that she's too tired to talk when I ask how her day went and then she goes straight to the bathroom and follows it up with going straight to bed. I probably could have dealt with all of that except one day I touched her and she recoiled from me so quickly one would swear that I'd burnt her. I looked at her in confusion and I meet anger in her eyes.

"What is it, Rangiku?"

Her eyes quickly melt as she rearranges her features to look less homicidal.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you pull away your hand like that?"

"You surprised me."

"Who the hell did you think it was that touched you? I've been lying right next to you for the last half hour."

"My mind was far, is all."

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing of interest." She flashes me a tight smile and turns her back on me as she settles down to sleep. I touch her shoulder again, but this time she was prepared and her body only slightly tenses at my touch. It is now my turn to pull back my hand quickly.

"Rangiku, you know I don't like it when you keep things from me." I say and I hear her snort in derision. She turns to face me.

"Really?"

I didn't know why she is angry but with the tone of sarcasm that was used I can only guess that I should be feeling guilty and maybe even a little bit stupid, but for what I'm not sure. She looks at me for a few moments longer, waiting for me to explain my disgusting behaviour and apologize for something I was yet privy to, but when no apology is forthcoming she rolls her eyes, mumbles something about having a headache and goes to sleep. And then I did something that was truly stupid in retrospect and understandably deserving of an apology. I said,

"Are you on your period or is your period coming?"

Now as I lie here on the couch after she literally kicked me out of our bedroom I think that _that _was something I can understand her being upset about. Her mood and behaviour before that however, is inexplicable. When I think about it I would have to say that it started about two weeks ago. A couple of hours after Momo had left Rangiku came home completely drunk. Ise and Kyoraku had to drop her home because she couldn't even remember where she lived and had apparently illegally entered into more than one residence uninvited. The quarrel we had was spectacular, but nothing that was said, was not usually said after she had one of these binges. I told her to stop drinking. She said that I should loosen up. I told her that drinking like that is no way for a young lady to behave and I would in no way be called to her rescue if ever she is found lying in a ditch. She said that if I didn't shut up now that I would be the one lying in a ditch – a six feet deep ditch to be exact. I threatened her with paperwork as punishment. She threatened to suffocate me in my sleep with her breasts (knowing full well that that is one of my greatest fears.) It was the usual argument we had after I found her drinking. Yet, the next day when she had sobered up her demeanour had changed completely and she was acting colder than Hyōrinmaru.

When I wake in the morning, my back aching from sleeping on the couch, Rangiku seems to have left already. I suppose that she must still be upset with me. I get up, take a shower and set about making breakfast for Akane and me, and by making breakfast I mean that I sent a message to one of my subordinates to come deliver breakfast to my house for Akane and me. Akane looks up at me as she sits at the kitchen table and says,

"Headline: Captain of the Tenth Division Actually an Imbecile Who is Unable to Make Breakfast."

I look at her and retort,

"Headline: Father Watches on Helplessly as Daughter is Killed by his own Zanpakutō."

"Funny." She tries for her response to be sarcastic and filled with hate, but she can barely keep the smirk off her face. "Thanks for the breakfast, Otou-san." She says after a while and gets up to retreat to her room.

"Come, I want to spend some time with you."

"Why?"

I meet her paranoid question with a resounding, "Why not?"

"I spend time with you all the time."

"Passing me in the kitchen or on your way to the dining table is not spending time with me." I say as I make my way to the couch.

"It is to me. We share an enclosed space."

"Why must you make it sound like prison, Akane?"

"Because my hours are regulated and I'm not allowed to go out unless accompanied by an adult."

"That's not the prison life. You're confusing prison with kindergarten."

"It's the same difference and you would know wouldn't you."

"How would you like to compare here to your new foster home?"

She sneers at me and it takes me a while to realize that Akane and I were bantering in the same way that she quarrels with Rangiku. Rangiku and Akane may bicker a lot but I know that that's just their secret dysfunctional family code of 'I love you's' and 'You're the best'. Finally, I feel like my family is truly complete. I settle back and reflect on her past insults and curses with a newfound warm feeling in my heart.

"What do you want to do? It better be quick because I have to go out with Okaa-san later this evening. She wants me to help her draw up the new organizational chart to reflect the changes in the infantry squadron of the unseated officers."

"Have you been doing her work for her? I know that you're smart and Rangiku is quite capable of taking advantage of your intelligence for her own benefit."

"Kind of like how she does with you since you always do all of her paperwork?"

"Your mother is not taking advantage of me. I complete her paperwork because I feel like it." And now I feel like slapping myself for admitting that.

"As soon as you figure out a way to say that and sound convincing check me back, ok?"

"I made a mistake. You're not smart. I was confusing smart with annoying."

"Annoying?" She looks scandalised.

"Yes, annoying. And you're also quite rude."

"Rude?" Her face contorts in surprise as if it's the first time she's heard such a claim.

"Yes, rude. Don't act surprised. You know you're quite bratty."

"Me? Bratty?" She feigns shock and hurt and I lose my patience with her sarcasm.

"What are you an echo?" I snap at her.

"What are you short?" She snaps at me.

After a couple of moments of staring at each other and wishing each other a truly horrific death, she smirks and comes to sit next to me on the couch. I shake my head in exasperation at her.

"Why do you like to do that? Why do you like mean and sarcastic banter?"

"Well, I suppose I just like to rankle everyone's nerves. It feels oddly satisfying."

I look over at her and think that she is just like Ichimaru in that respect.

"Oh and I wasn't being sarcastic."

I stick my tongue out at her and she smiles.

"Don't smile." I tell her and she sneers at me and now it's my time to smile, well more smirk really.

"How are you feeling, Akane?"

"Well, I have no signs of respiratory illnesses or bleeding in the brain or –"

"You will have bleeding in the brain if you don't be serious." I mock threaten her and she gives a very light giggle. It seems so strange coming from her.

"I'm..." she pauses as she searches for the right words, "...I'm happy."

"Really?" I glance at the latest issues of the Seretei Communications and wonder if she's read any of them lately.

"I know that there are still people clamouring for me to be experimented on, locked up or exiled." Her expression is unreadable and I know that I've lost her again. She has compartmentalized her emotions and the little access I had privy to just now is gone until who knows when.

"So that doesn't bother you anymore?"

"I try not to take it on. I'm trying to simply focus on the people that make me happy like you, Okaa-san and . . .others."

I look over at her. She was not going to complete her sentence with 'others'.

"Who 'others'? What other friends do you have?"

"Thanks for making me sound like that. I've made other friends beside my parents."

"You like a boy, don't you? That's why you like helping Rangiku with the work. You've fallen for somebody in the Division, haven't you?"

"No. You are wrong. And they say that you're smart. I know rats that weigh more than your IQ score."

"I see we're back to the insults. You know you're just like your mother. When things get too emotionally close she pulls back. In her case she likes to pretend that she's a ditzy girl that only cares about shopping and drinking. With you, you like to pretend that you're a sarcastic, know-it-all brat."

"Okay, firstly, I am nothing like Okaa-san. Secondly, she is not pretending. She really is ditzy. She's missing a few screws in her head. Actually, no scratch that. She's missing the thing that the screws are supposed to be holding up. Thirdly, I have been hanging out with a guy lately, but I'm not telling you anything else because I know that you'd hate him on contact."

"Why?"

"Personality clashes."

"Oh God," I roll my eyes as I think of her liking some tattooed up punk like Hisagi or Abarai. I could handle the tattoos; it's the idiocy that I have a problem with. Suddenly my head snaps up to her. "Wait. There aren't any guys your age for you to hang out with in the Seretei. Who are you hanging out with? Dear God, please don't say it's Abarai. He's so stupid he puts lipstick on his head to make-up his mind."

"HA! Ha ha! That was a good one." She says as she gets up and walks away.

"So you're really not going to tell me who you're talking to?" I call after her.

"Nope."

"Fine. I'll let you have your secret for the meanwhile because you look really, really happy."

She turns around to face me.

"I am happy. I have you and Okaa-san...and others."

I give her a small smile and as her lips twist to return the smile I shake my head to let her know that smiling is a bad idea for her. She instantly sneers at me and I can't help but chuckle. She turns on her heels and goes into her room.

"That's for all the insults you give me!" I shout back at her.

I settle onto the couch and think that I haven't been this happy in years. I plan on finding out who Akane is talking to. I'll ask Rangiku. She always knows these things. Well, provided that she's still wants to talk to me given the mood she's in. But I can deal with a moody Rangiku; I know that she'll come around, she always does. And now I know how to deal with a moody Akane. My girls may be moody and bitchy, but they're my girls nonetheless and I love them. I go to work with my reiatsu burning brightly.

* * *

I have never liked winter. It's cold, barren and makes everyone generally miserable. The one thing that I do like about winter however, is that it forces people out of the cold and into the comfort of bars where they are compelled to put something heated into their bodies; something like sake. Now that's one part of winter that I can live with. Lately, Tōshirō has taken to opening the Shogi doors in our room that lead to the back garden. It's a wondrous view to wake up to. Everything looks like it's been coated in powdered sugar. It's still and beautiful. The coldness seeps through and he snuggles up closer to me and I cannot help but melt into him and I hate myself for it. I cannot stand the fact that he can be so loving and yet he'll keep things from me. For two weeks he has been the model husband. Anything that I want he gives it to me, whether it be a new kimono or simply space to do whatever I want. Yet, I cannot forget what I heard. He has not told me of the kiss he shared with Momo. I know he says that he doesn't want to hurt me and I suspect that the kiss meant nothing to him, but if he wants to harp on about how we should not keep things from each other I would like to hope that that was not a lecture meant only for me. I don't know how to deal with the situation and the result is that I have withdrawn myself from him. He knows it and he thinks it's just one of my moods; that I'll come out of it like I usually do. But I haven't been in a mood this funky for this long. I don't know how to relate to him. I suppose the distance that I am feeling is not being helped by the fact that I've fallen for Gin again.

"I wasn't expecting ya so soon, Ran-chan. It's only eleven in the morning." Gin greets me as I move past him. "What's the matter? Ya back hurtin'?"

"Always."

I know that he knows something is bothering me, but he wouldn't push. He would wait for me to bring it up in my own time.

"Wanna back rub?" He offers.

"That would be nice."

I sit on the edge of his large bed and he comes to sit directly behind me, letting his legs dangle off the edge of the bed and at the side of me. I can feel his closeness next to me and a knot in my stomach develops. With my back to him I slip off the top of my shihakushō and I feel his warm fingers begin kneading into the knots in my back. I always have back pain. It's the price I pay for having such large breasts. I try to even out the weight in front of me by wearing my zanpakutō slung at my lower back, but it doesn't do much. Gin doesn't say anything. He always preferred to listen and right now he's listening to the moans I'm making from the tension in my back being released. I can tell that he's getting aroused, but he continues to rub my back as if none of us is feeling the chemistry crackling between us.

It's been two weeks since Akane and I have been secretly seeing him. We spend the afternoons together playing card games, listening to music, talking, playing board games and generally being a family unit. I like spending time with him. I always have. He's fun and funny. He's intelligent and patient. And I have an addiction to him. I was sober for a while, but now as he touches me I can feel my body aching for him again. But guilt is biting at me like a really annoying mosquito.

"I'm feeling really guilty and confused, Gin."

"Uh huh? About what?"

"I'm upset with my husband because he's been keeping things from me and yet I'm doing the same thing to him."

"Thank you for taking the chance with me, Ran-chan."

There's a pause for a long while. He's no longer giving me a back rub, but instead is simply resting his forehead on my bare shoulder, his arms around my waist. The desire to turn around and kiss him is overwhelming me. I can hear him breathing hard, trying to control himself. But he's a patient man and I know that he won't make a move. But then my brain flashes me images of Tōshirō and my desire is quelled my nagging conscience. Stupid conscience.

"Gin...I'm in a really bad situation here." I finally breathe out so quietly that I'm surprised that he heard me.

"I know, Ran-chan."

"Akane loves you. She loves Tōshirō too. I love you and I love him too."

He doesn't say anything for a while. He only rocks me quietly when I start to cry. After a while I pull up my shihakushō over my breasts and he backs off of me and comes to stand in front of me, leaning on the bedroom door.

"Ya done cryin'? Ya know I can't stand to see ya cry."

I look up at him. He's smiling sweetly at me and I feel sick when I think about what I have to say next.

"Gin. . .I'm pregnant."

His smile drops and his eyes open in obvious distaste.

"I didn't realize it until Tōshirō made this idiotic comment last night about my periods. It's only then that I realized that I missed my period, so I went to the Fourth and it's confirmed."

He stares at me, his lips actually curling up not into a smile, but into a distinct scowl. He's really upset. I haven't seen him lose control of his emotions like this since the time he first told me he wanted to become a Shinigami.

"I thought ya said that ya didn't want another baby."

"I don't."

"So what are ya gonna do?"

"What do ya mean?"

"Rangiku," My heart skips when he calls me that. Gin hasn't called me by my full name in decades. "I want ya to listen to me very carefully. I haven't said anything to ya about ya husband. I don't like him and it's taken me everything not to slice him in half because I know that ya wouldna want that. I only want that yer never hurt or upset in any way. I want that for Akane too. Everything that I have done in my life has been for _you_. 'Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.'" He says to me in English. "Robert Heinlein said that and I believe it. That's the only reason that I haven't killed that man that ya call ya husband. He has my wife and my child. I'm not gonna lie to ya. I want ya and Akane in my life as _my _wife and _my _daughter. I know that ya want it too. Ya think it's easy pretendin' that's what's mine is his? But let me tell ya, I won't accept ya knowing that ya carryin' his child. I won't have it. Ya have to make up ya mind. Either ya choose to be with me and Akane or ya choose to be with him and that chid ya carryin' for him. Those are ya choices."

I am shocked by his demand. It's the first time that he has ever given me an ultimatum.

"It shouldn't be too hard of a choice. Yer husband's in love with another woman and you know who ya really happy with."

"That's just it Gin. I don't know! I love both of you!"

"Well I suggest that ya better find your love soon and figure out with whom it belongs to."

I stare at him in disbelief. I can't believe that he's forcing me to make a choice, even though I know that eventually I'd have to. He composes himself and smiles sweetly at me. I want to kick him in the face! I get up to leave and he walks ahead of me to slide open the door for me.

"I suppose ya'll give me yer answer when I see ya later? Or am I to assume that if I don't see ya that ya made the other choice?"

I look at him, but don't give him an answer. Does he not know that life-changing decisions like these can't be made in a few hours?

"Gin..." I start off, but don't finish. Instead I walk off on him and I hear him slam the screen door shut; another slip of his emotions.

As I walk back to the Tenth Division I feel sick, but I'm not sure if it has to do with the fact that I'm pregnant or because of the conversation that I had with Gin. I hope it's because of the conversation that I had with him. I don't want another child. Every time I think about it I remember my last pregnancy and I feel sick because I remember how sick I was then. I threw up constantly, my blood pressure was so low that I almost had a stroke and I was confined to bed rest for five months. Isshin told me that it was in my best interest if I did not have another baby and I was fine with that. But here I am again.

Yet, somewhere I feel as if I owe this to Tōshirō. He is raising another man's child as his own. He may have told me once that he didn't care if Akane is Gin's daughter, but I know that he'd be thrilled if I gave him a son or daughter. But what is the purpose of giving him a son if my heart is torn in two between him and Gin? I'm fed up! As I near his office I hear the familiar sound of his pen scratching away against paper. I take a deep breath and pull a smile onto my face. I don't want him to know what's going on with me. I'm going to be cheerful Rangiku that likes to bug the living daylights out of him. I enter his office and he glances at me, but does not stop his work. Instead he says,

"And where were you this morning?"

"Oh, out and about."

"I gathered as much. Are you still upset with me?"

"Kinda."

"I'm sorry about the assumption that you were upset because of your period."

"Forget about it. I understand. You're a man." At this he stops his writing and focuses on me.

"Excuse me?"

"Listen, every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. I get it. It was late at night. I'm sure that comment you made was you going over your limit."

"Right. And I suppose you _don't _have a limit?"

"Hey. I'm upset. You're apologizing. Remember the roles and stay in character."

"Right. Sorry. Wait. What were you upset about in the first place? You were angry with me before I made that comment about your menstruation cycle."

"Umm...what made you think that I was upset?"

"You're avoiding me by doing work. If it's my attention that you want, you can have it. But please Rangiku, this crazy behaviour has got to stop before something actually gets done!"

"Ha ha. My, my. Aren't you in a good mood today?"

"I am in a good mood, yes. I spoke to Akane."

"Is that what they call an oxymoron or a non sequitur? Because those two statements don't make sense."

"Oh come on, she's not here to defend herself."

"I know." I say eagerly and conspiratorially. "She's too smart. It's hard work keeping up with her banter. By the time I finish a conversation with her I have a headache. That's why I drink."

"You were drinking before Akane was even born."

"Yeah and I was talking to you before that, so..."

He smirks, but chooses not to respond to my comment. He instead says,

"You're not dumb. You just think differently."

"What! Thanks a lot! That's like saying 'you're not ugly, but you should definitely work on telling jokes and interesting stories.' You're a horrible husband!"

"That's a subjective claim."

"Fine. I'll benchmark you against Captain Kuchiki. He was a great husband as far I know. He adopted his dead wife's sister because that was her dying wish."

"Kuchiki? Che. For all we know he killed his wife himself and he got away with it. Wait." And his eyes get a distant and dreamy look as if he's hatching a scheme. "He got away with it? Excuse me, but I must make an urgent visit to the Sixth Division."

"Ha ha. Very funny." And he smirks at me.

"You are smart Rangiku. You have great leadership skills too. A leader is someone who can influence others in order to accomplish a task. And you sure are great at influencing. You have all of your subordinates doing your job."

Hmm, so he figured out that I haven't actually been doing all the things I said that I've been doing. Not surprised, really.

"A manager is someone is who gets things done through others, Captain."

"What were you and Akane doing with your afternoons since you 'influenced' all of the Division to do your work?"

"We were managing, Captain." I reply vaguely.

"Okay. I suppose that I shouldn't complain since the work is getting done. Isn't that what you were going to tell me?"

"See. I even managed to influence what you were going to say."

He only shakes his head and mutters something like 'insufferable' but it holds no malice. I look at him and I find myself wondering if the child will come out with his eyes or his nose.

"What?" He asks suspiciously.

"You look really happy."

"I am happy. I'm happy that Akane is happy. I'm happy that you're no longer upset with me. I never want you to be upset and I'm trying my best to make you happy. If you and Akane are not happy then I'm not happy." My mind is hijacked by Gin's similar words. I sit at the edge of his desk and think about what he said. I have no real reason to leave my husband. He loves me and my daughter. He provides for us, he'll protect us with his life. But he has feelings for another woman just like how I have feelings for another man. I open my mouth to question him on his kiss with Momo when in walks Captain Soi Fon.

"Good afternoon. Captain. Lieutenant." She greets us. Captain and I look at the time. It's after noon, so the officer that is supposed to act as secretary to Tōshirō must be out to lunch and his replacement must not have arrived as yet.

"How may I help you, Soi Fon?" Tōshirō's voice sound gruff and I suppose he must be annoyed that he was interrupted.

"Where is your daughter, Captain Hitsugaya?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I need to ask her a few questions. She is the main suspect in the murders of Shimoyama Daiki and Nagahide Tsubasa."

Captain and I exchange looks then we look over at Captain Soi Fon.

"Who?" Captain and I ask in unison.

"Two of the three Shinigami that broke into your daughter's room two weeks ago."

* * *

**A/N: Now review this and then go read Part Two please**!


	16. Chapter 16 Part Two

**Chapter Fifteen – Part Two**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach

* * *

"How do you know about that? We never filed a report." Captain asks.

"I'm not allowed to reveal my sources." Gin. He's the only one that could have said anything about the incident, but why? "Please send for your daughter Captain Hitsugaya."

Tōshirō and I exchange looks again. We don't like the situation at all. It's all too sudden. And we especially don't like the fact that we haven't had the chance to speak to Akane. Captain Soi Fon seems to have read our minds and cuts in with,

"Don't worry. Your daughter is not under arrest. I simply want to question her."

Tōshirō and I don't know what to do. Well, _I_ don't know what to do; he usually has some plan up his sleeves.

"Matsumoto, please go bring Akane. I think that she's home."

"Hai Captain."

I quickly shunpo out of the room and head directly to our house on the edge of the Tenth Division.

"Akane!"

"Hey Okaa-san." She lazily calls out. She is sprawled out on the sofa, lying on her stomach reading a manga. "It's only half twelve. Are you ready to go over to Gin's already?"

"Akane, Captain Soi Fon is at your father's office. She wants to question you. You're a prime suspect in the murder of two of those three Shinigami that broke into your room two weeks ago." I say evenly. I don't bother to sugar coat it for her because I know that she'd hate that.

She stares at me expressionlessly for three seconds before she replies with a cool and slightly annoyed:

"What?"

"Get up. You need to explain to them what happened on that night."

"And what I've been up to since."

We exchange looks.

"You cannot let it be known where you've been spending your time, Akane."

"I understand."

"If your father hears that we've been spending time with Gin, he'll..." I don't bother to finish the sentence as an image of him signing the divorce papers comes into view.

She gets up from the couch and heads resolutely towards the door while I hear her muttering, "Different shit, different day." And I laugh at how she corrupts the popular saying. She turns on me instantly.

"You laugh at all the wrong times, Okaa-san."

"You have nothing to be worried about, no?"

"No, but –"

"And you have been spending your mornings in the presence of either Hisagi, Kyoraku or Yumichika and your afternoons roaming the Tenth Division with me. The men in the Division will attest to that. I'll make sure of it."

She looks me up and down and smirks.

"For you, they'd attest that they just gave birth to a baboon and it came right out of their asses."

I throw back my head and laugh. She takes my hand in hers and leads me out of the house.

Tōshirō and Captain Soi Fon look like they haven't moved in all the time that I took to get Akane and I took my cool time to walk back to the Captain's office because I had to stop in the barracks and convince the boys to swear on their mothers that Akane and I have been spending our afternoons in the barracks doing work. When Tōshirō sees us he gets up and moves over to the other side of his desk to stand closer to Akane.

"Soi Fon, I know that you have not formally charged Akane with anything, but –"

"No. I only want to ask her a few questions. But if she refuses to co-oporate I will be forced to arrest her. I do not care that she is a minor."

I see Tōshirō twitch slightly at Captain Soi Fon's words. Akane looks...bored.

"Matsumoto-chan," Akane looks up with disinterest when Soi Fon calls her name. "Would you care to explain to me where you were two evenings ago between 2:30 and 5 p.m?"

Tōshirō and I give Akane sharp looks because we know that some sarcastic answer is on the tip of her tongue. She frowns a bit before she answers.

"I was at the Tenth Division barracks with my mother and a few other officers of the Division."

"And where were you Captain Hitsugaya?"

"You know that I was in a meeting with you and the other Captains, Soi Fon!" He answers irritated.

"Who were the officers that were with you?" Soi Fon re-directs her attention to Akane.

"I do not know their names. I was only sitting in on the session as I watched my mother complete her work."

"Matsumoto Rangiku was doing work?"

I sweatdrop. I sure have made a name for myself.

"It's not out of the realm of possibility, Captain Soi Fon."

"Sorry it was hard to hear you over the noise of hell freezing over." Soi Fon replies and my mouth hangs open in shock at her audacity and the fact that she is able to make a joke. I see Tōshirō and Akane curl their lips into a slight smirk.

"The names of the men were Noriyuki Yoshihaki and Nobumoto Eiji." I tell her.

"So if I speak to them they'd tell me that Matsumoto-chan was busy on Wednesday afternoon between the hours of 2:30 and 5 p.m. because she spent all that time watching you work?"

"Yes." I answer her confidently.

"So I should disregard the statements from others in your Division who says that they haven't seen either you or your daughter at the Head Office in the afternoons in at least two weeks?"

Shit. She's been doing her prep work.

"The Division is a large place and we are all very busy. They might have looked down to pick up something just as we were passing." I say and smile dismissively.

"Right. I suppose that I should ignore the circumstantial evidence that the men were killed with high level Kidō which Matsumoto-chan has proven quite capable of performing?"

"I can't perform Kidō at the moment." Akane says quickly. "The night that the men broke into my room, Gin Ichimaru performed a block on my ability to perform Kidō. Now that I think about it the bastard said that it'd be temporary, but..."

"Hmm, well I intend on asking Ichimaru some questions since he was present that night and since you two have been spending so much time with him lately."

"I'm sorry what?" Tōshirō asks in confusion. Akane and I exchange looks.

"Ichimaru was there at the scene at the crime and he seems to have taken a special interest in your daughter since he's been spending most of his afternoons over the last two weeks with her and Lieutenant Matsumoto."

For a few moments there is a silence that is deafening. I look at Captain Soi Fon. I get the feeling that that was her real point. All the questions that she asked us before about our whereabouts were simply to catch us in a lie. She knew all along where Akane and I have been spending our evenings. She was building a case against Akane and possibly me, but when I think about it, Gin's a suspect too. As a matter of fact he's my prime suspect, but all of us, Akane, Gin and myself, are under suspicion. What the hell was he thinking! Haven't we both been in enough trouble as it is! Soul Society already hates Akane. Gin may be a hero now, but no one forgets the past. I was cleared of suspicion of treason, but like I said, no one forgets the past. I want to scream. With suspicion on all of us, Gin has fucked up everything! I look over at Tōshirō and he's shaking with rage like a plucked guitar string. Captain Soi Fon looks over at me and then to Tōshirō. Her eyes narrow as she reads the situation.

"I think that I'll continue this conversation another time." Soi Fon says and leaves the room just as quickly as when she entered it.

No one says anything for a while, until finally I walk over to the desk, rummage around in it for a while until I find a letter addressed to Lieutenant Sasakibe.

"Akane," She looks up at me with bewilderment and insecurity, "I want you to carry this letter to Lieutenant Sasakibe in the First Division and wait for a reply."

"I know that you're trying to get rid of me –"

"Just do what I say for once in your life!" I scream at her and she flinches. Instantly I feel regret. "Please." I add and she hesitantly takes the letter. But before she leaves, Tōshirō stops her.

"Akane, did you have anything to do with those murders?"

For a brief moment her reiatsu flares and her eyes look cold and black.

"You should know the answer to that already, Otou-san." She turns on her heels and leaves while he stares at the spot that she was standing in.

"Gin killed them." I say after a while. "I have no proof, but I'm sure that it's him. I don't know why he would do such a thing, but I'm sure that he killed them."

"I shouldn't have asked her that question. I fell into Ichimaru's plans there." He says absently, his eyes still a bit unfocused.

"What are you talking about?"

"If I were Ichimaru, I'd have done the same thing. He played me. He really played me."

"I don't understand."

He turns to me.

"Ichimaru is the one that started this whole mess. I'm only just seeing it. You told me that he knew of Akane all the while, which of course means that he knew of her abilities. He played with her mind the day of the hearing, a very public place for her to display her abilities to everyone when she stopped me from killing him. Now all of Soul Society knows about her abilities and they hate her. They're afraid of her and they think that she's a threat to Soul Society because they don't understand her abilities. I'm positive that he's the one that sent those three men to her room that night. He knew of the whole thing. That's why he was there that night. He probably did not outrightly send them to her room, but you know how Ichimaru operates – he influences silently. He influenced those men and made sure that he was present that night."

"But why would he do that? Now he has suspicion all over not just him, but Akane and me too!"

"Because Matsumoto, he plans on ostracising you two from me. I played right into his hand when I asked Akane that question just now. You three might be under suspicion now, but I'm sure that he has some plan at the last minute like he usually does, to prove your innocence. But by that time I'll have already lost Akane to him."

"Wait. Let me get this straight. You think that Gin systematically schemed to make Akane choose him over you? You're starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist."

"Am I? And he got you too. He got you to come back to him." My heart sinks. "Slowly and surely he worked himself back into your life. He got you to trust him, so that you'd want to be with him. He probably told you that he just wanted to spend time with his daughter. He probably didn't make any moves on you, no? All that time you probably spent sitting around, talking and playing games and being just like a regular family, no? He got you, didn't he?"

I don't like his questions. I hate even more the answers to his questions. My head feels heavy as my mouth goes dry and my breathing comes out laboured.

"You don't have to answer me Matsumoto. I can tell by the look on your face that I'm right, though I wish to God that I weren't. This is why I didn't want to fall in love with you."

"It's true. He asked me today to make a choice. Right before Captain Soi Fon came in I had already made up my mind. I want to be with you."

He seems not to have heard what I said. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration before he looks up at me and says,

"Matsumoto, you've been spending time with Ichimaru after you looked me in the eye and said that you wouldn't do that." His voice is shaking under the effort it takes to suppress his rage. "And I specifically asked you not to let Akane spend any time with him! Now you see how you played into his hands? He said that he was coming back to take back what's his and you practically gave him it!

"Tōshirō –"

"What excuse could you possibly have to lying to me like that? You made a fool out of me! I trusted you and you've been lying to me for all these weeks. It's one thing to lie about not doing the work while you actually go out drinking with that lush Kyoraku, but to lie blatantly and use my subordinates in your lies because you want to hang out with that...that...asshole Ichimaru is another thing!" It's the first time that I've heard him curse out loud in front of me and I'm taken aback by his rage. "What the hell were you doing with him all those afternoons and why the hell did you feel the need to drag Akane into it?"

"We weren't doing anything but hanging out. He's a changed man. All he wanted was to spend time with Akane."

"And you believed him?"

"Why not?"

"Why not? Is that a rhetorical question?"

I don't like his tone and I find it imperative to fight back.

"Listen, you really shouldn't be coming down so hard on me. I was simply spending time with him and allowing him to spend some time with Akane. I didn't think that he would have been scheming anything." I say as much to him as to myself.

"Why do you feel the need to spend time with him? He missed an entire decade of Akane's life, why should be allowed in her life now? Am I not good enough company for you? Am I not a good enough father for her? Why can't you just let go of your past?"

"I've probably let go a little bit better than you since I don't go around go around kissing my exes!" This is a bit off the topic now, but I have to let him know that I know.

"What?"

"I know that you kissed Momo."

He pauses momentarily, but composes himself quickly.

"She kissed me."

"And you kissed her back."

"And it meant nothing!"

"How do I know that?"

"Because I'm telling you that it meant nothing! Tell me that Ichimaru means nothing to you!" he has completely lost it now. His reiatsu is bristling the atmosphere around us. It's cold and papers are flying about in the air as the wooden panels and the floor boards tremble. But I am so angry that my reiatsu flares too as we clash.

"How do you want me to have the same trust in you when you have none in me!" I scream at him.

"Matsumoto, I placed my trust in you ten years ago. Ten years ago Central 46 questioned me on whether I think my Lieutenant has had any contact with Ichimaru and I swore that you didn't. I placed my trust in you that if ever you were in any trouble that you would come to me. And I was wrong! You had Ichimaru shacked up in your house while I was busy telling Central 46 that you would never do something like that. You never did come to me for help. You left me for the Living World. I've put my career, my life and my pride on the line for you. Akane is not my child, she is Ichimaru's. Do you have any idea how much of my pride I had to swallow to commit to something like that? I never even wanted children, but I did everything for you! And now you want to tell me that you can't trust me!"

"It's easy for me to say something like that because you've always doubted me and Akane! Look at how you asked her whether she was involved in those murders. You played into Gin's hands because he knows that you don't believe in Akane. You forbade me to see him because you doubt me too!"

"That's because there's always reason to doubt! You give me reason to doubt because you have always gone back to Ichimaru. Akane gives me reason to doubt by the very fact that she is actually Ichimaru's child and he's a monster!"

"That would explain a lot." It's the one voice that neither of us wants to hear. We spin around to see Akane standing at the door, her reiatsu ablaze in a haze of red around her. Her expression is cold and unforgiving. "Thanks a lot for the support, _Otou-san_." She says 'otou-san' in the mocking tone she would use in the earlier times with him. Tōshirō steps forward, but she steps back. Her reiatsu right now screams murderous intent.

"Akane!" Matsumoto yells and goes racing in a blur of shunpo after Akane. I feel a strange calmness as I make my way to sit behind my desk. This is precisely why I never wanted to let myself fall in love with her. I hear Hyorinmaru snort in the background pointedly letting me know that I had no choice in the matter. Falling in love with Rangiku was practically inevitable, I suppose. But was it really only a matter of time until I lost her? The calmness ebbs and I feel like lightning strikes me in the chest when the reality hits me that in the space of a half hour I lost my wife and my daughter. I could blame Momo. Maybe if she never kissed me, Matsumoto would not have found out anything and she would not have felt compelled to visit Ichimaru. Maybe I can blame Akane. If she had more self-control Soul Society would never have known about her problems. Maybe I can blame Rangiku. If she was more vigilant and not so trusting, this thing with Ichimaru would never have gotten so out of hand. Or maybe I should blame myself. I should never have fallen in love in the first place! I had a lot of help to push away Rangiku and Akane, but at the end of the day I am the one to blame.

I hear Hyorinmaru violently disagree with me. Ichimaru fucking Gin is to blame. My head snaps up in understanding. That's true. This _is_ all Ichimaru's fault. He's the one that committed treason all those years ago that compelled Matsumoto to go into exile. He's the one that abandoned her and his daughter. Now he wants to walk back into their lives as if nothing ever happened? I'm the one that picked up the pieces that he left shattered and now he wants to say, 'hey, thanks for fixing everything for me, I think I'll take back everything from you now.'

My fingers are shaking and I know that I've developed a severe twitch over my right eye, but I honestly don't seem to care. I feel a tight sensation in my chest from the effort it's taking to control my breathing. I close my eyes to better steady my nerves but all I see when I close my eyes is stupid, stupid Ichimaru Gin. He's all in my face and when I open my eyes I don't see anyone else but him, covered in red.

I don't remember leaving my office, but somehow I ended up in the courtyard in front of the Third Division. I can't seem to see anything else but me shoving Hyōrinmaru straight through Ichimaru fucking Gin's head! It's not fair to attack from behind, but I know that he knows that I'm standing only twenty feet behind him, but he acts as if he doesn't know that I'm there, which is ridiculous unless he just had all of his nerves in his body nullified because it's impossible to not my feel the heaviness of my reiatsu stifling and electrifying the atmosphere with rage. Snow is falling and the sky mimics what I feel inside – darkness. I want to kill Ichimaru fucking Gin. I have never in my entire life wanted to kill someone so badly. It's unhealthy, but I don't care.

"Ah, Captain Hitsugaya-kun I take it the snow fall is on account of you?" He says to me from across the courtyard, still with his back turned to me. The sound of his voice irritates me more than nails on a chalkboard. I can't even bring myself to utter a coherent sentence. All I can manage to say is,

"Ban...kai."

Ichimaru turns his head to me almost imperceptibly.

"Daiguren Hyōrinmaru!"

I faintly hear cries of dissent from members of the Third Division who have scrambled outside to see the commotion, but I pay them no mind. I do not care about them. They dare not near Ichimaru and me because our spiritual pressure is too stifling for them to even look at much less stand anywhere near our presence.

Daiguren Hyōrinmaru pushes Ichimaru back with such force that he pelts back several feet, blocking with the flat side of his zanpakutō and kicking up a trail of snow dust behind him and creating a veritable parted, frozen blue path with the walls reaching a height of thirty feet on either side. I don't give him an opening. Rather I immediately launch into another attack and Hyorinmaru lunges forward with a deafening and piercing shrill. There is no way for Ichimaru to defend since he is at the end of a frozen valley, huge ice walls encasing him on each side. He is forced to attack.

"Bankai. Kamishini no Yari."

I have never actually seen Ichimaru's bankai. The only knowledge I have of it is what Rangiku has told me. But the sheer destructive power of it momentarily stuns me. In the barest blink of an eye he decimates the ice walls and shatters Hyōrinmaru. And I barely even saw him do it! All I see is him standing there with that stupid shit-eating grin on his face and I feel like the blood rushing to my brain is going to make my head explode with rage.

"Winner takes all?" He says. My hands are shaking from the barely contained anger that is boiling within me. What in the hell could Rangiku possibly see in a man like that?

I attack again, this time with more force and with more speed. The blade of his zanpakutō expands and contracts so quickly I can barely keep up, but I'm giving him a hard time since Hyōrinmaru is relentless. Ice daggers rain upon him and as he deflects a shower a daggers he is met with a wave of ice and water. But his attacks are just as annoyingly relentless as him. Constantly I must duck, bend, swerve, dip, dodge and skate in an effort to avoid having my head separated from my body. With a massive amount of effort I swing my sword in the air in a linear direction and a massive crescent shaped tidal wave overwhelms him and I quickly follow it up with Zekku and another crescent wave hits Ichimaru launching straight into the air. He just barely dodges and lands on the roof of a nearby building. I move to attack him again, when I hear a noise like a creaking sound. I turn and see that the entire Third Division Head Office is about to crumble down on me. I move but stumble when I realize that the ground is disintegrating before my eyes. Shit! When Rangiku told me that Ichimaru's Bankai breaks down cells I assumed that it was just the cells in a person's body. I had no idea that it was capable of disintegrating the cells in wood and basically break down any object. I lose my footing and stumble backwards. I feel like I'm trapped in my own personal earthquake. I have to move quickly or else a building will tumble down on me and all of the members of the Third Division. Ichimaru that bastard. Always manipulative and even willing to sacrifice the lives of his Division mates in order to win. I have to act quickly because now I have to think about saving myself from the building, saving the Third Divisioners from the collapsing building and still block an impending attack from Ichimaru. Quickly I flip backwards, balancing on one hand and throw another wave of ice at Ichimaru. This time I put even more effort into it, but he pushes me forward with his attack. My ice wings shield me, but I am sent straight into the path of the collapsing building. It takes almost all of my energy but with a colossal effort a wave of ice twenty feet in width and forty feet high buttresses the building, temporarily holding it up in place, but blocking the people inside from coming out.

I turn to look at Ichimaru. He is breathing hard just like me. He still has that stupid grin on his face that I would do almost anything to slap off of his stupid face. I clutch my zanpakutō in both hands.

"Those are your Division mates in there. You are a disgusting, vile and incorrigible disgrace to Shinigamis." I tell him."

"Aww shucks. Stop. You're makin' me blush."

"Stay away from my wife, Ichimaru. Stay away from my daughter."

"Well, as soon as you get a daughter, I'll make sure to follow that rule."

"Just because you gave her your genetic make-up does not make you a father."

"And just because you're married to Ran-chan does not mean that you're the one that she loves."

In an instant I attack him. His attacks are so fast paced it is terrifying. I can barely keep up and I don't even realise when he pierces my right arm with Kamishini no Yari. The pain that I feel is excruciating and I stumble backwards and collapse onto the ground. My pulse instantly begins to weaken, but also beat at rate that someone could dance an Irish jig to it. My throat is swelling and I can barely breathe as my throat constricts. This must be the poison settling in. I struggle to stand but my limbs feel weak. I can barely make out Ichimaru's image standing some distance in front of me. I can barely lift my zanpakutō. It feels as if it weighs a ton. But I summon whatever strength of what's left in my right hand and lift my sword, turning it 90o counter-clockwise as I whisper,

"Hyōten Hyakkasō."

At this command the huge ice pillars that are a result of my battle against Ichimaru encircle us and moves towards Ichimaru, trapping him and crushing him. Everything that I did before that was a distraction in order to execute this move. The last thing I see as I raise my head just a little bit is the look of shock and fear on Ichimaru's now paler and blue-tinged face as no doubt his body probably feels like he was stabbed by a million knives with ice as cold as 30oC making his body lapse into instant and severe hypothermia. As for me I know that my body has gone into shock. I want to get up, but I can't. My body is shivering, but I have an odd satisfaction knowing that at least I killed Ichimaru. Dimly I hear two voices simultaneously. They sound like Akane and Rangiku.

* * *

When I open my eyes I see a bright light at the ceiling and it makes me squint and squirm uncomfortably. I turn my head to the side and I see Rangiku standing in front of a window at the farthest wall. It takes me a couple of seconds but I soon work out that I'm at the Fourth Division lying in a cot. She looks stunning standing in profile near the window. Light is streaming down in waves against her, reflecting off the highlights in her hair. She truly is a beautiful woman. For a few moments I am seized by panic as I remember my body failing me because of Ichimaru's Bankai.

"Shh. Relax. You're fine, you're in the hospital." Rangiku says as she comes over to me and sits on the edge of my bed. I stare at her a moment to steady myself and clasp her left hand in my right hand. "How do you feel?"

I quickly make a mental checklist. Nothing hurts anywhere except my right hand which when I try to lift excruciating pain shoots up and down it and all the way into my head. I feel momentarily dizzy, but the pain soon ebbs. I look down and notice that my right hand is heavily bandaged.

"I feel alright, except for the pain in my hand."

"Understandable. If it's any consolation, Gin is feeling pain all over his body."

My eyes nearly fall out in shock.

"Ichimaru's not dead?"

"No." And she does a spectacular job of keeping whatever emotion behind that answer hidden. "Akane saved him before he was completely crushed by breaking the ice with Kidō."

"She's more skilled than either of us could have imagined." I say as I turn my head to the side.

"Hmm, yes. That block that Gin had put on her...she could have removed it at any time. I don't know why she didn't remove it."

I look at Rangiku.

"Rangiku, answer me honestly. What do you believe? Who do you think killed those Shinigami? Do you think that she did it? Or do you think that Ichimaru is behind it?"

She pauses for a while before she answers, closing her eyes for a bit to collect herself before she opens them again.

"I think that it's too late. I think that she's already corrupted."

I squeeze her hand and she smiles weakly at me. We sit in silence for a while; not an uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't comfortable either.

"I'm sorry." I say after a few moments.

"I'm sorry too."

"I can't. . .I can't afford to lose you, Rangiku. I told you that I didn't want to fall in love with you because I know that if I lost you I wouldn't be able to handle it. The way that you make me feel. . . you make me feel really, really free and happy. I can't afford to lose you." I say by way of explanation for my blind rage in attacking Ichimaru.

"I'm not going anywhere." She smiles at me. "I always thought that once Gin was back in my life everything would be right again. I kept basing my happiness on that. But I should really focus not on what I don't have and waiting to have, but I should focus on what I do have. That's where my happiness lies. And what I have is really, really good. You appreciate me, you really appreciate me."

This time the silence is more comfortable.

"So you agree to start over? We have to start over with us. We have to start over with Akane. We have to start over with Akane. Did you talk to her?"

"I never caught up to her. I lost her, but I felt your and Gin's reiatsu so I headed straight to the Third Division. When I arrived you were on the ground losing consciousness and Akane was rushing to Gin's side. I rushed you to the hospital and I tried to talk to her later, but she said that she was tired and she wanted to go home. She promised to talk to me in the morning. After everything that happened, I didn't want to push her."

My heart sinks at that. My daughter has discarded me.

"By the way," I turn to look at her and she smiles sheepishly, "I'm pregnant."

It takes me a few moments filled with lots of blinking and opening of closing of the mouth before I comprehend what she's saying.

"Wow. I really wish that I had a camera right about now. You should see your face!" And she laughs out loud.

"Are you serious?" She nods and I raise myself off the bed to hug her, but the pain in my arm levels me.

"Be still." She scolds me. "We'll have plenty of time to celebrate later. Remember, we're starting over, right. Me, you, Akane and possibly your future son?"

I smile giddily at her partly because of the pain in my arm, but mostly because of the news. I feel tired and try as I might to stay awake I soon drift into sleep.

* * *

"Get up!"

I wake in the hospital, again momentarily disoriented as I briefly wonder how and when I got here, but I soon compose myself. I focus my eyes on Rangiku.

"What? What is it? Can't I have peace when I'm sick?" I say annoyed.

"Akane and Gin's gone!"

"What?"

"Don't be deaf and stupid!" She flings a letter at me.

_Okaa-san and Otou-san, _

_After what happened yesterday I feel like I don't know who I am. I feel like I don't really belong with you. I feel like I don't really belong in Soul Society. All I have caused you is trouble. I am different from you and Otou-san. I think that I connect more with my real father. Gin told me that you're pregnant. Maybe now you can have a child that will not cause you so much trouble and a family that will be more complete. It's obvious that I don't belong with you and Otou-san. Either you be with me and Gin and have a family with us or you stay with Otou-san and have a family with him. We cannot all exist together. Gin and I will leave Soul Society. If you want to be with us, you'll find us. _

_Akane._

I re-read the letter over and over again. Akane must not really mean this. The letter must be a fake.

"Gin told me this would happen." Rangiku says solemnly.

"What?"

"This is serious. He told me that I had to make a choice. He told me that I had to choose between him and Akane or you and this baby. At first I didn't notice it. I thought I had to choose between him and you. I never thought that he'd have taken her. She didn't leave. He influenced her to leave. That...that...bastard!"

Her reiatsu is flaring dangerously.

"Rangiku, calm yourself." I'm sure that she's not really gone –"

"She left. Gin is supposed to have a limiter and an ankle monitor on him. The monitor and limiter were lifted yesterday before your fight with him. That's why he was able to fight back like that yesterday. He had the power to do so. I have no idea how he did it though. But this morning she broke down the Northern Gates and severely injured the guardian of the gate. The guardian said that Gin was with Akane. She really left, Tōshirō!"

It's obvious what I have to do. I crawl out of bed and stumble a bit. The pain in my arm is excruciating. Ichimaru must also be in a bad shape, that's why Akane had to break down the Gate for him. With laboured breathing I slowly drag myself to the chair that is against the wall and struggle to put on my shihakushō. The mere effort has me cold sweating and I realize that the poison from Gin's bankai did not just affect my arm, but my entire body as well, it's just that my arm has the most amount of pain. I hate that man!

"What are you doing?"

"What...does it...look like?" I rasp out. "I'm going...after...my...daughter."

"You can barely walk!"

"We don't have time to waste!" I shout back at her and brace myself against the chair to steady myself.

"Fine. If you're going then I'll have to go with you."

"No! You're pregnant –"

"So? Tōshirō, you said that we have to start over. I'm never leaving your side. We are husband and wife. Wherever you go, I go. This is our daughter we are talking about. This is our family."

I stare at her. Her hands are on her hips and she's staring at me defiantly. This woman has given me love. She has given me a new way to look at life and at love. She gave me a daughter to love. I never wanted a family. I never wanted to have all this love. But now I can hardly breathe without it.

"You're right." She smiles broadly at me. "Help me strap on my zanpakutō."

She smiles and mumbles something about shopping in the living world as a side project.

"What!"

"I said looking for Hollows in the Living World as a side project, Captain."

"So why the hell did you mention shopping just now?"

"Oh Captain, you must have hurt your hearing in that fight. And you really shouldn't yell, it's not good for the baby."

"You're really going to play that card?"

"You betcha!" She smiles at me wickedly and against all wishes I smile back at her. God, I'm so weak for her!

The love that we have for each other is only half-complete. We have found each other, but we have so far to go again. I look up at her as I lean heavily against her while we make our way to the door. We have so far to go again, but at least we have each other now.

* * *

**A/N: Yay me! Another completed fic. Review please!**


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